Post by Claudius Augustus on Mar 4, 2023 18:14:26 GMT -5
Deep in the forest we find Claudius Augustus and his loyal companion Pig chopping through the underbrush. Claudius wearing his usual Roman gear looks completely out of place in this harsh environment. Luckily for him he has Pig to lead the way, swinging a machete to clear a path for his Emperor.
CA: Pig, we need to turn to the right up ahead once we reach the small creek. Then we will be very close.
Pig grunts, still smashing away at the bushes ahead. Soon enough they reached the creek where they stopped to sit by the side of the water for a short rest.
Pig: So, how does it feel to be champion?
CA: Like it did before I had the belt. I do, however, bring a bit of prestige to this new championship. I could easily complain that such a thing is below me, but instead I choose to raise it to a whole new level.
Pig: I mean, it is definitely the hardest belt to hold on to. It’s almost like you’re the working man's champion.
CA: Well, Pig, the problem with that is I HATE the working man. The peasants. This is what I mean. I must bring more royalty to this “working man's belt.” I can’t be seen as the people’s champion...not these people. One day, when we have accomplished our goal and brought peace to the earth under the Empire’s rule, then I will gladly be the people’s champion. MY people.
Pig grabbed a small stick and started drawing in the mud.
Pig: You know who was almost one of your people...Diana Watts.
Claudius let out a disgruntled laugh.
CA: Don’t remind me. I actually thought she had what it takes to be somebody. Turns out she is just another loser.
Pig: Well, you get a chance to show just how much of a loser she is this week since she is stepping into the ring trying to take the Massacre Championship from you.
Claudius looked at Pig sitting on the forest floor drawing with a stick. He wondered what it was like to be a simple-minded person such as Pig. Probably quite freeing, actually.
CA: I can’t believe they gave her an opportunity against me, to be honest. What has she done other than lose? I mean, she can’t even find an identity for herself. I tried to give her that, but she disappointed once again. Walked away after losing a fight and tried to reinvent herself once more, but to no avail. Still the same loser as before.
Pig: Some people just don’t have what it takes to be a part of the movement.
CA: Indeed.
The men sat by the creek for a few more minutes, and then began walking towards their destination once more.
CA: There it is Pig! I can’t believe it is actually here…
Claudius ran past Pig and towards two towering trees. The trees had a flaky, papery bark on the outside, quite out of place in the Floridian forest.
CA: Pig, these are the fabled Chechén and Chacá trees.
Pig: Still think it sounds like a Mexican restaurant.
Claudius rolls his eyes at Pig’s lack of intelligence. Freeing as it may be to be a simpleton, it was almost painful to be around him at times.
CA: Well, let me tell you what the legend is ACTUALLY about. You see, there were two brothers named Kinich and Tizic. They were polar opposites. Kinich was a kind young man, and all the people loved him. Tizic was ruthless and arrogant. They, both being princes, lead very different lives.
Pig nodded following the story closely with a furrowed brow.
CA: Well, it just so happens that both brothers fell in love with the same woman, Nicté-Ha. She was beautiful...so beautiful that neither man was willing to give her up. So, they did what any great warriors should, they went to battle to win her love and affection.
Pig: The things we do for women.
Claudius didn’t even hear the interruption, too enthralled by the story flowing from his own mouth.
CA: The battle was one of the most intense in history, with neither brother able to gain the upper hand. In the end they killed each other, fighting to the end without a victor. After they ascended to the heavens, they were met by the gods who were exceedingly angry with them for what they had done. However, the two princes begged for mercy and to be sent back down to Earth to see their beloved Nicté-Ha again.
Pig (singing): All you need is love; love is all you need.
This time Claudius heard his companion and shot a blazing stare in his direction. Interruptions were not tolerated by the Emperor.
CA: The gods obliged their request, and they were reborn as mighty trees. Tizic came back as a terribly poisonous tree, fitting given his temperament. Kinich, on the other hand, came back as a tree who was an antidote for his brother's poison. Their rivalry lives on to this day.
Pig was now bored by the story. He just stared at Claudius while twiddling his thumbs.
Pig: So, why do we care about some trees, exactly?
CA: Because, Pig, these aren’t just a couple of trees. This is where the staff is buried. When we were in the cave below our feet fighting off the mighty dragon, I had a vision. A vision of this very place.
Claudius moved forward between the two huge trees. He knelt down and started pulling vines and moss off of a small mound in the middle. Underneath was a stone carving of a dragon's head.
CA: This is Kukulcán as the Mayans would say. Or to the Aztecs, Quetzalcoatl. The mighty feathered serpent god.
Pig: You mean...like the one that tried to eat me?!
CA: That is EXACTLY what I mean. Do you have the shovel Pig?
Pig reached around and grabbed the small folding shovel from his backpack and locked it into working position.
CA: Dig here, just in front of the dragon. Below we should find the staff we have been searching for.
Pig began to dig little by little. It didn’t take him very long to hit something with a loud metal clang. He uncovered the object below, pulling out a long staff with a huge green gemstone in the end.
CA: YES! The staff of Kukulcán! Buried beneath the warrior princes just as my vision had led me to believe. I can almost feel the power surging through it.
Pig: Just looks like an old tree branch to me.
CA: Well, Pig, that is because you’re an idiot. This staff that I’m holding gives me the power to CONTROL THE DRAGON!
Pigs mouth fell open, both at the insult and at the thought of controlling that monster below. Before he had time to respond, the ground began to tremble. Clicking and hissing noises filled the forest around them. Both men stepped back from the hole they had just dug just in time to see thousands of scorpions rise up from the ground. The mass of ugly creatures was running straight towards them.
CA: Pig! Run!
The men turned their back and ran down the trail they had carved through the forest. Luckily for them their human advantage of having extremely large legs helped propel them away from the ominous threat. Once they reached the turn by the creek they took a break once again with no sign of danger lurking behind anymore.
Pig: What in the heck was that?!
CA: Scorpions, Pig. I thought that was obvious.
Pig: I mean, why so many?
CA: They were guarding the staff. You see the huge jewel in the end of this staff?
Pig, catching his breath from the run, nods.
CA: This is jade, a gemstone that was precious to the Mayans. It symbolized life and death. The two things I wish to gain from the dragon. The power to gain life and defeat death...both things that the dragon has the ability to grant. The fact that they put such a huge chunk of jade on the end of this staff really shows its importance, and proves it is authentic.
Claudius moves the jade closer to his face, admiring the craftsmanship. There were patterns and symbols carved into the stone, crude but still visible. He dipped the staff into the creek to clean it off.
CA: Take off your shirt Pig.
Pig: WHY?! Have you seen the size of these mosquitoes?
CA: Do it NOW Pig! Don’t mistake my friendship for weakness. Just because I have let you in closer to me doesn’t mean I won’t stomp you into the mud beneath us.
Pig reluctantly removed his shirt and handed it to the Emperor. Claudius used it to wipe down the staff and expose the beautiful wood and even more detailing in the jade. It really was a masterfully crafted staff.
CA: It is beautiful. You know Pig, once we face the dragon, things are going to change. I will have power unlike any man in history. Power to control the world. Once under my control, we can finally have peace.
Pig: It's the day I look forward to. It's the reason I follow you. The vision...the chance at a better world.
CA: And here I thought you followed me because of how nice I am.
Both men chuckle, knowing his ruthless ways. However, Pig was certainly softening him up a bit, exposing the man underneath the hardened outer shell.
The staff sat on the small kitchen island in the makeshift home of Claudius and Pig. The men, now back to their home base, had fallen asleep hours ago. The jade in the end of the staff begins to glow and fill the room with a soft green hue. Pig walks in, ready for a late-night snack. He sees the staff and immediately goes to wake up the Emperor.
Pig: SIRE! THE STAFF! WAKE UP!
Claudius smacks his shaking hand away and rolls over, trying to stay in his deep sleep.
Pig: WAKE UP! THIS IS SERIOUS!
Claudius groggily sits up on the side of his bed. He then turns and glares at Pig, annoyed he was pulled out of sleep.
CA: Pig, I swear, if there is nothing extraordinary to see I will have you flown back home and put in the dungeon.
The men walk back towards the kitchen, where the green glow is still emanating from the staff. Claudius picks it up and marvels. The lines and inscriptions in the stone are where the light is coming from, not the entire stone.
CA: Marvelous.
He sat the staff back down and walked over to the wall where it was projecting the engravings as perfect images all around.
CA: Do you know what this is Pig?
Pig shook his head no, still in awe of the things all around.
CA: It’s another legend. And the next step on our journey.
Pig: I mean, the next step on your journey is getting ready for Diana Watts.
Claudius was snapped out of his trance and stared at Pig with disgust.
CA: You have a way of ruining a perfectly good moment Pig. Do we really have to talk about the peasant now? I mean, just showing up and knowing who I am is more than she can do. That means I win by default, right?
Pig: Absolutely.
CA: Me, THE EMPEROR, going against a lost peasant feeling her way through the darkness like a blind hobo looking for a crumb to eat. I can’t lose to a LOSER. I will not allow it. If I have to do ANYTHING to win, I will. That is the difference between me and Diana Watts. She doesn’t know how to be a winner. I have been winning my entire life.
Claudius began to pace as he thought of the upcoming match. His hands clinched into tight fists at his side, only opening for him to make frantic hand gestures as he spoke.
CA: We could have been great together. A team not to be messed with. However, Diana went against the grain and fell deeper into her losing ways. The foolish girl did not take my advice. She was confused and the stench of the world surrounded her. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could bring her out of the darkness and into the light. But she fell into the abyss, back into the world that is full of filth. And that is where I cannot go. She will have to wallow below with all the other beasts, those that have ruined the world. As I rise to power, I will ensure those disgusting people stay under my boots where they belong, Diana included. It starts on Massacre, where I will crush what remains of her spirit. I want her to never wrestle again, her will being so shaken she doesn’t even have the power to stand. The less I have to look at her and think what might have been, the better for everyone. Her mere presence angers me, a sharp reminder of the failure of society. Time to stamp this one out once and for all.
CA: Pig, we need to turn to the right up ahead once we reach the small creek. Then we will be very close.
Pig grunts, still smashing away at the bushes ahead. Soon enough they reached the creek where they stopped to sit by the side of the water for a short rest.
Pig: So, how does it feel to be champion?
CA: Like it did before I had the belt. I do, however, bring a bit of prestige to this new championship. I could easily complain that such a thing is below me, but instead I choose to raise it to a whole new level.
Pig: I mean, it is definitely the hardest belt to hold on to. It’s almost like you’re the working man's champion.
CA: Well, Pig, the problem with that is I HATE the working man. The peasants. This is what I mean. I must bring more royalty to this “working man's belt.” I can’t be seen as the people’s champion...not these people. One day, when we have accomplished our goal and brought peace to the earth under the Empire’s rule, then I will gladly be the people’s champion. MY people.
Pig grabbed a small stick and started drawing in the mud.
Pig: You know who was almost one of your people...Diana Watts.
Claudius let out a disgruntled laugh.
CA: Don’t remind me. I actually thought she had what it takes to be somebody. Turns out she is just another loser.
Pig: Well, you get a chance to show just how much of a loser she is this week since she is stepping into the ring trying to take the Massacre Championship from you.
Claudius looked at Pig sitting on the forest floor drawing with a stick. He wondered what it was like to be a simple-minded person such as Pig. Probably quite freeing, actually.
CA: I can’t believe they gave her an opportunity against me, to be honest. What has she done other than lose? I mean, she can’t even find an identity for herself. I tried to give her that, but she disappointed once again. Walked away after losing a fight and tried to reinvent herself once more, but to no avail. Still the same loser as before.
Pig: Some people just don’t have what it takes to be a part of the movement.
CA: Indeed.
The men sat by the creek for a few more minutes, and then began walking towards their destination once more.
*****************************************************
CA: There it is Pig! I can’t believe it is actually here…
Claudius ran past Pig and towards two towering trees. The trees had a flaky, papery bark on the outside, quite out of place in the Floridian forest.
CA: Pig, these are the fabled Chechén and Chacá trees.
Pig: Still think it sounds like a Mexican restaurant.
Claudius rolls his eyes at Pig’s lack of intelligence. Freeing as it may be to be a simpleton, it was almost painful to be around him at times.
CA: Well, let me tell you what the legend is ACTUALLY about. You see, there were two brothers named Kinich and Tizic. They were polar opposites. Kinich was a kind young man, and all the people loved him. Tizic was ruthless and arrogant. They, both being princes, lead very different lives.
Pig nodded following the story closely with a furrowed brow.
CA: Well, it just so happens that both brothers fell in love with the same woman, Nicté-Ha. She was beautiful...so beautiful that neither man was willing to give her up. So, they did what any great warriors should, they went to battle to win her love and affection.
Pig: The things we do for women.
Claudius didn’t even hear the interruption, too enthralled by the story flowing from his own mouth.
CA: The battle was one of the most intense in history, with neither brother able to gain the upper hand. In the end they killed each other, fighting to the end without a victor. After they ascended to the heavens, they were met by the gods who were exceedingly angry with them for what they had done. However, the two princes begged for mercy and to be sent back down to Earth to see their beloved Nicté-Ha again.
Pig (singing): All you need is love; love is all you need.
This time Claudius heard his companion and shot a blazing stare in his direction. Interruptions were not tolerated by the Emperor.
CA: The gods obliged their request, and they were reborn as mighty trees. Tizic came back as a terribly poisonous tree, fitting given his temperament. Kinich, on the other hand, came back as a tree who was an antidote for his brother's poison. Their rivalry lives on to this day.
Pig was now bored by the story. He just stared at Claudius while twiddling his thumbs.
Pig: So, why do we care about some trees, exactly?
CA: Because, Pig, these aren’t just a couple of trees. This is where the staff is buried. When we were in the cave below our feet fighting off the mighty dragon, I had a vision. A vision of this very place.
Claudius moved forward between the two huge trees. He knelt down and started pulling vines and moss off of a small mound in the middle. Underneath was a stone carving of a dragon's head.
CA: This is Kukulcán as the Mayans would say. Or to the Aztecs, Quetzalcoatl. The mighty feathered serpent god.
Pig: You mean...like the one that tried to eat me?!
CA: That is EXACTLY what I mean. Do you have the shovel Pig?
Pig reached around and grabbed the small folding shovel from his backpack and locked it into working position.
CA: Dig here, just in front of the dragon. Below we should find the staff we have been searching for.
Pig began to dig little by little. It didn’t take him very long to hit something with a loud metal clang. He uncovered the object below, pulling out a long staff with a huge green gemstone in the end.
CA: YES! The staff of Kukulcán! Buried beneath the warrior princes just as my vision had led me to believe. I can almost feel the power surging through it.
Pig: Just looks like an old tree branch to me.
CA: Well, Pig, that is because you’re an idiot. This staff that I’m holding gives me the power to CONTROL THE DRAGON!
Pigs mouth fell open, both at the insult and at the thought of controlling that monster below. Before he had time to respond, the ground began to tremble. Clicking and hissing noises filled the forest around them. Both men stepped back from the hole they had just dug just in time to see thousands of scorpions rise up from the ground. The mass of ugly creatures was running straight towards them.
CA: Pig! Run!
The men turned their back and ran down the trail they had carved through the forest. Luckily for them their human advantage of having extremely large legs helped propel them away from the ominous threat. Once they reached the turn by the creek they took a break once again with no sign of danger lurking behind anymore.
Pig: What in the heck was that?!
CA: Scorpions, Pig. I thought that was obvious.
Pig: I mean, why so many?
CA: They were guarding the staff. You see the huge jewel in the end of this staff?
Pig, catching his breath from the run, nods.
CA: This is jade, a gemstone that was precious to the Mayans. It symbolized life and death. The two things I wish to gain from the dragon. The power to gain life and defeat death...both things that the dragon has the ability to grant. The fact that they put such a huge chunk of jade on the end of this staff really shows its importance, and proves it is authentic.
Claudius moves the jade closer to his face, admiring the craftsmanship. There were patterns and symbols carved into the stone, crude but still visible. He dipped the staff into the creek to clean it off.
CA: Take off your shirt Pig.
Pig: WHY?! Have you seen the size of these mosquitoes?
CA: Do it NOW Pig! Don’t mistake my friendship for weakness. Just because I have let you in closer to me doesn’t mean I won’t stomp you into the mud beneath us.
Pig reluctantly removed his shirt and handed it to the Emperor. Claudius used it to wipe down the staff and expose the beautiful wood and even more detailing in the jade. It really was a masterfully crafted staff.
CA: It is beautiful. You know Pig, once we face the dragon, things are going to change. I will have power unlike any man in history. Power to control the world. Once under my control, we can finally have peace.
Pig: It's the day I look forward to. It's the reason I follow you. The vision...the chance at a better world.
CA: And here I thought you followed me because of how nice I am.
Both men chuckle, knowing his ruthless ways. However, Pig was certainly softening him up a bit, exposing the man underneath the hardened outer shell.
*****************************************************
The staff sat on the small kitchen island in the makeshift home of Claudius and Pig. The men, now back to their home base, had fallen asleep hours ago. The jade in the end of the staff begins to glow and fill the room with a soft green hue. Pig walks in, ready for a late-night snack. He sees the staff and immediately goes to wake up the Emperor.
Pig: SIRE! THE STAFF! WAKE UP!
Claudius smacks his shaking hand away and rolls over, trying to stay in his deep sleep.
Pig: WAKE UP! THIS IS SERIOUS!
Claudius groggily sits up on the side of his bed. He then turns and glares at Pig, annoyed he was pulled out of sleep.
CA: Pig, I swear, if there is nothing extraordinary to see I will have you flown back home and put in the dungeon.
The men walk back towards the kitchen, where the green glow is still emanating from the staff. Claudius picks it up and marvels. The lines and inscriptions in the stone are where the light is coming from, not the entire stone.
CA: Marvelous.
He sat the staff back down and walked over to the wall where it was projecting the engravings as perfect images all around.
CA: Do you know what this is Pig?
Pig shook his head no, still in awe of the things all around.
CA: It’s another legend. And the next step on our journey.
Pig: I mean, the next step on your journey is getting ready for Diana Watts.
Claudius was snapped out of his trance and stared at Pig with disgust.
CA: You have a way of ruining a perfectly good moment Pig. Do we really have to talk about the peasant now? I mean, just showing up and knowing who I am is more than she can do. That means I win by default, right?
Pig: Absolutely.
CA: Me, THE EMPEROR, going against a lost peasant feeling her way through the darkness like a blind hobo looking for a crumb to eat. I can’t lose to a LOSER. I will not allow it. If I have to do ANYTHING to win, I will. That is the difference between me and Diana Watts. She doesn’t know how to be a winner. I have been winning my entire life.
Claudius began to pace as he thought of the upcoming match. His hands clinched into tight fists at his side, only opening for him to make frantic hand gestures as he spoke.
CA: We could have been great together. A team not to be messed with. However, Diana went against the grain and fell deeper into her losing ways. The foolish girl did not take my advice. She was confused and the stench of the world surrounded her. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could bring her out of the darkness and into the light. But she fell into the abyss, back into the world that is full of filth. And that is where I cannot go. She will have to wallow below with all the other beasts, those that have ruined the world. As I rise to power, I will ensure those disgusting people stay under my boots where they belong, Diana included. It starts on Massacre, where I will crush what remains of her spirit. I want her to never wrestle again, her will being so shaken she doesn’t even have the power to stand. The less I have to look at her and think what might have been, the better for everyone. Her mere presence angers me, a sharp reminder of the failure of society. Time to stamp this one out once and for all.