Post by Marcus Welsh on Feb 28, 2023 20:34:58 GMT -5
~Wobbly legs. Thrown equilibrium. Welsh stumbles into a chair next to the podium atop a stage overlooking the OCW Press Room. He clumsily scrolls through his twitter feed. THE LEO takes the podium, pounding his fist~
The Leo: That’s why THIS Monday at Massacre I am going to maim, destroy, and mutilate Dane Preston! He thought prison was bad? Well, wait until I put him behind THESE bars!
~Leo flexes his puny arms~
Welsh: She did WHAT?
~Everybody jumps~
The Leo: What is it, sir?
Welsh: Did Adi really sell the PROUD AND STRONG cruise ship? The biggest cruise ship of all cruise ships? We’ve only been back like a day!
The Leo: Oh, well, I heard Miss Vhodka was going to take care of that. Something about a salvage yard.
Welsh: I need another dramamine tablet.
The Leo: Is that to, like, help cope with Drama?
~Welsh glares at Leo~
The Leo: Get the boss a drama whatever pill, stacked!
Welsh: And a Tanqueray and Tonic.
The Leo: Should you mix anti drama pills with…
~Welsh glares at Leo~
Welsh: GET THE MAN HIS DRINK!
~Welsh leans back, waiting his drugs and booze. Leo continues`
The Leo: But enough about fat face Dane and his stupid beard. I’m here to announce this month’s PPV event! Oh, what? You thought we were skipping March and going STRAIGHT into April? Well, you thought wrong!
~Welsh is delivered his pill and booze. Leo asks if he can have a sip of the drink. Welsh slaps his hand away~
The Leo: On Sunday, March 26th OCW gives back to the community. That’s right, OCW will present a Pay Per View put together by some die hard fans. We’ve decided to put the fate of this company in the hands of the people who have made THE PROUD AND STRONG what they are and currently stand for. A truly philanthropic effort run by our luscious owner, Adi Gold!
~Leo claps wildly. Welsh looks up at him and mouths, ‘luscious?’ Leo looks confused, “I dunno, it just came out. I get really nervous with public speaking.” Adi Gold comes out. She takes the stand and stares out at all the reporters. Leo looks over at her. Welsh looks up at her. Is...she gonna do anything? She suddenly extends both hands, fingers making the ‘peace’ sign and she announces~
Adi Gold: I am not a crook!
~Nobody laughs. Well, almost nobody. Some weirdo in the back nearly falls out of his chair laughing his ass off. Adi slaps the podium and points at him~
Adi Gold: My guy! But yes, enough about politics. Let’s talk about March. Marcus Welsh came to me and said, “Hey, Miss Gold, I need some more of your money.”
~Adi laughs and winks at Welsh. He looks pissed, slowly taking a sip of his drink~
Adi Gold: I mean, he does ask for money a lot. But during this ONE conversation, he wanted to talk about event planning. The March PPV. He said way back, many years ago, in 2018 OCW gave back to the community. They let the community book a PPV and it was a HUGE success. So, he wanted to do it again...he wanted to send out questionnaires to all of OCW’s most PROUD AND STRONG fans...and those who scored highest would be allowed to book the theme and location of this month’s ppv.
~Welsh nods, thinking that his idea is amazing. The reporters are like, “Not bad. Not bad.”~
Adi Gold: So, I took his idea...and made it BETTER.
~Welsh goes white~
Adi Gold: I was walking around the OCW Arena backlot. Got locked out. And I found some neighborhood toughs, real hard boiled kids, throwing dice and gambling with their lunch money. I thought, ‘what better way to help these kids than be...taking all their money by beating them at dice!’
~Adi’s smile slowly turns to a frown~
Adi Gold: But they beat me and took my lunch money...so much of it, that I couldn’t pay up all that I owed. SO, I thought...’hey, what better way to keep these kids from jumping me than by giving THEM the opportunity to pick the location and theme of this month’s Pay Per View!’
~The room is like ‘oh no’~
Adi Gold: And, so, I did! And they did! Everybody, let me introduce Mr. Grambling’s Third Graders!
~Adi claps and claps and claps...about thirty 9 year olds enter the conference room. The leader, a kid that looks like he’s named Chip, takes the podium~
Chip: Thanks! We are happy to be here at OC fuc-
Mr. Grambling: CHIP…
Chip: freakin W.
Mr. Grambling: Much better.
Chip: We love OCW and we also love Speedy’s Fun Spot! It’s the best! We go there all the time! It used to be a Wal-Mart. But it got shut down for being really nasty and dirty. So, old man Speedy bought it and turned it into the most funnest, coolest place EVER.
~The nine year olds go wild. Adi jumps around with them~
Chip: They got go karts that sometimes catch fire. Putt Putt holes with real life snakes and alligators in them! A ball pit that real, dirty adults sometimes are caught living in! Really fun arcade games that sometimes work. Laser tag...but when the guns don’t work you get to use paint guns and when those don’t work you just get to punch people. And, PIZZA!!
~The nine year olds and Adi continue to cheer~
Chip: Miss Gold told us we can do it...so we’re telling the OCW wrestlers YOU CAN DO IT! At Speedy’s Fun Spot! In the old abandoned Wal-Mart near the end of town! Yay!!
~Adi and the kids continue to jump around. Leo exits. Welsh slams his forehead down on the table in front of him~
OCW Presents: YOU CAN DO IT
LIVE! Sunday, March 26th, 2023
FROM Speedy's Fun Spot
IN Key West, Florida
Craze Championship
Delia Black vs. TBA
Tag Championship
Bifford and The Beast vs. TBA
Paradigm Championship
Crash Rodriguez vs. TBA
OCW Championship
Matt Meyhu (c) vs. Harmon Egan
The Leo: That’s why THIS Monday at Massacre I am going to maim, destroy, and mutilate Dane Preston! He thought prison was bad? Well, wait until I put him behind THESE bars!
~Leo flexes his puny arms~
Welsh: She did WHAT?
~Everybody jumps~
The Leo: What is it, sir?
Welsh: Did Adi really sell the PROUD AND STRONG cruise ship? The biggest cruise ship of all cruise ships? We’ve only been back like a day!
The Leo: Oh, well, I heard Miss Vhodka was going to take care of that. Something about a salvage yard.
Welsh: I need another dramamine tablet.
The Leo: Is that to, like, help cope with Drama?
~Welsh glares at Leo~
The Leo: Get the boss a drama whatever pill, stacked!
Welsh: And a Tanqueray and Tonic.
The Leo: Should you mix anti drama pills with…
~Welsh glares at Leo~
Welsh: GET THE MAN HIS DRINK!
~Welsh leans back, waiting his drugs and booze. Leo continues`
The Leo: But enough about fat face Dane and his stupid beard. I’m here to announce this month’s PPV event! Oh, what? You thought we were skipping March and going STRAIGHT into April? Well, you thought wrong!
~Welsh is delivered his pill and booze. Leo asks if he can have a sip of the drink. Welsh slaps his hand away~
The Leo: On Sunday, March 26th OCW gives back to the community. That’s right, OCW will present a Pay Per View put together by some die hard fans. We’ve decided to put the fate of this company in the hands of the people who have made THE PROUD AND STRONG what they are and currently stand for. A truly philanthropic effort run by our luscious owner, Adi Gold!
~Leo claps wildly. Welsh looks up at him and mouths, ‘luscious?’ Leo looks confused, “I dunno, it just came out. I get really nervous with public speaking.” Adi Gold comes out. She takes the stand and stares out at all the reporters. Leo looks over at her. Welsh looks up at her. Is...she gonna do anything? She suddenly extends both hands, fingers making the ‘peace’ sign and she announces~
Adi Gold: I am not a crook!
~Nobody laughs. Well, almost nobody. Some weirdo in the back nearly falls out of his chair laughing his ass off. Adi slaps the podium and points at him~
Adi Gold: My guy! But yes, enough about politics. Let’s talk about March. Marcus Welsh came to me and said, “Hey, Miss Gold, I need some more of your money.”
~Adi laughs and winks at Welsh. He looks pissed, slowly taking a sip of his drink~
Adi Gold: I mean, he does ask for money a lot. But during this ONE conversation, he wanted to talk about event planning. The March PPV. He said way back, many years ago, in 2018 OCW gave back to the community. They let the community book a PPV and it was a HUGE success. So, he wanted to do it again...he wanted to send out questionnaires to all of OCW’s most PROUD AND STRONG fans...and those who scored highest would be allowed to book the theme and location of this month’s ppv.
~Welsh nods, thinking that his idea is amazing. The reporters are like, “Not bad. Not bad.”~
Adi Gold: So, I took his idea...and made it BETTER.
~Welsh goes white~
Adi Gold: I was walking around the OCW Arena backlot. Got locked out. And I found some neighborhood toughs, real hard boiled kids, throwing dice and gambling with their lunch money. I thought, ‘what better way to help these kids than be...taking all their money by beating them at dice!’
~Adi’s smile slowly turns to a frown~
Adi Gold: But they beat me and took my lunch money...so much of it, that I couldn’t pay up all that I owed. SO, I thought...’hey, what better way to keep these kids from jumping me than by giving THEM the opportunity to pick the location and theme of this month’s Pay Per View!’
~The room is like ‘oh no’~
Adi Gold: And, so, I did! And they did! Everybody, let me introduce Mr. Grambling’s Third Graders!
~Adi claps and claps and claps...about thirty 9 year olds enter the conference room. The leader, a kid that looks like he’s named Chip, takes the podium~
Chip: Thanks! We are happy to be here at OC fuc-
Mr. Grambling: CHIP…
Chip: freakin W.
Mr. Grambling: Much better.
Chip: We love OCW and we also love Speedy’s Fun Spot! It’s the best! We go there all the time! It used to be a Wal-Mart. But it got shut down for being really nasty and dirty. So, old man Speedy bought it and turned it into the most funnest, coolest place EVER.
~The nine year olds go wild. Adi jumps around with them~
Chip: They got go karts that sometimes catch fire. Putt Putt holes with real life snakes and alligators in them! A ball pit that real, dirty adults sometimes are caught living in! Really fun arcade games that sometimes work. Laser tag...but when the guns don’t work you get to use paint guns and when those don’t work you just get to punch people. And, PIZZA!!
~The nine year olds and Adi continue to cheer~
Chip: Miss Gold told us we can do it...so we’re telling the OCW wrestlers YOU CAN DO IT! At Speedy’s Fun Spot! In the old abandoned Wal-Mart near the end of town! Yay!!
~Adi and the kids continue to jump around. Leo exits. Welsh slams his forehead down on the table in front of him~
OCW Presents: YOU CAN DO IT
LIVE! Sunday, March 26th, 2023
FROM Speedy's Fun Spot
IN Key West, Florida
Craze Championship
Delia Black vs. TBA
Tag Championship
Bifford and The Beast vs. TBA
Paradigm Championship
Crash Rodriguez vs. TBA
OCW Championship
Matt Meyhu (c) vs. Harmon Egan