Post by Marcus Welsh on Feb 26, 2023 19:54:22 GMT -5
~When I was a little boy, I held a deep hatred towards the other other kids I went to school with. They all had families and homes to go to. Kids like little Stevie with his packed lunch that came with a handwritten note from his mom.I remember the grin he would give me when he open his lunchbox and start calling aloud the contents of his lunch. "salami sandwich with the crust cut off, strawberry squeeze-it, jello pudding, fritos, and gushers. Ew an apple." He would take a bite of his food, lock eyes with me and chew.~
Little Stevie: Hey Tommy! Don't you get tired of eating peanut butter sandwiches? What's the matter? Your mom doesn't love you enough to make you a real lunch?
~The kids around the table would "oooh and ahhh". And then one of the kids would shout, "His mom is dead. He'd be eating ghost sandwiches. Hahahaha." Most times I would put my head down and eat my sandwich like it was the best sandwich ever made. I tried my best to ignore their harassment.~
Little Stevie: Hey Carlo, you think he's ever had a salami sandwich before? Maybe I should give him some of mine.
~ Carlo, before he became Stevie's sidekick was the butt of his jokes, until I got there.~
Carlo: Yeah I think he wants some.
" Little Stevie took a bite of his sandwich, chewed it real good, then spit it out on the table. He'd ball it up, then roll it down the table to me."
Little Stevie: Eat up, homeless loser. That's the best food you'll ever have in your life. Hahahahaha.
~ He'd point and laugh and get all the kids to chant " You're mom's a dead bitch." And most times, I'd close my eyes hold in the tears and picture myself far away from where I was.~
! SPLAT!
~ And then one day a piece of chewed up sandwich dipped in low fat milk hit in in the forehead while I had my eyes closed, and the roar of laughter set me off. I grabbed the lunch tray and smacked the first kid I saw, a girl named Janice. I may have broken have broken her nose, because the blood that came down her faces was like chocolate flowing from a fondue tower. I got up from my seat and stabbed the fat smelly kid in the arm with a spork. The kids started to scream and howl as I pulled Carlo by his long hair and onto the ground. I punched him repeatedly as I locked eyes with little Stevie. I can still picture that silly grin on little Stevie's face as he clutches something in his hand while the lunchroom monitors pulled me off a crying Carlo.~
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My time in the OCW has been filled with trials and tribulations. When I came in over 20 years ago, it was a hostile environment. Everyone on the roster was looking to take my head off. I kept to myself in those early days and focused on being the best wrestler I can be. But the early OCW mainstays never accepted me in their little circle. According to them, I had the stench of the ICWF all over me. That "love-hate" relationship between the 2 feds really did carry over backstage. None of the guys wanted to work with me, they felt that I needed to prove myself. There were few occasions where in those early
~ With all the strength she had left in her body, she sat herself up and then pulled me up on thedays that I was given an opportunity to prove my worth in the OCW. But when the opportunity did arise at Frost Bite 3, I captured the Hardcore Title. But still the OCW mainstays refused to acknowledge me. After losing the belt and toiling around the lower card I quietly left the OCW and returned to the ICWF. I felt defeated, I felt like a failure. But I vowed that I would return one day.
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~ Every memory I have of my mother was her sick, tired, miserable. I never knew my father. And it made me hate him. ~
Mom: Tommy, come here son.
~ I put down the toy car I was playing with and head over to her bedside. She had spent the last 3 weeks in the hospital this time, her sickness had gotten worse. I slept on the chair in her room in the evening, and then would wake up and walk the 10 blocks from the hospital to the school. After school I'd head straight to the hospital. ~
Mom: Tommy, you are the strongest, bravest kid in the whole wide world. Do you know that?
~ I shake my head.~
Mom: Well you are honey. And I'm so proud of you. I wanted to give you something.
bed. She placed a a necklace with a locket around my neck. The necklace hung down and the locket rested right near my heart.~
Mom: This is so you know, that I will always be close to your heart baby.
Tommy: What if I lose it mommy?
Mom: You won't Tommy. I believe in you.
~ I clutch the locket. ~
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The OCW hall of fame is full of wrestlers that I've beaten. I've captured most of the belts that mean anything, I've accomplished as much as anyone can... with the exception of one thing. The OCW World Title. Last year I was this close to winning the Illuminatus and cementing my legacy in the OCW. But I failed. Last year I earned the opportunity to fight for the World Title after 20 years in the OCW, and again I failed. I watched guys I came into the business with, PIC and Kalli, return after years away from the business win the OCW title. I watched guys I've beaten like Outcast and Bifford with OCW title runs. And it burns me to the core seeing these guys succeed at something I've failed time and again. And that is to prove my worth in the OCW.
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Principal: This is bad. The parents want to press charges.
~ I sat in the principal's office with my hands folded, tears streaming down my cheeks. The principal had just gotten off the phone with one of the parents who was irate and yelling. ~
Principal: Herb, they want him to go to jail.
~ Herb, otherwise known as Father T. was the pastor of the neighborhood church. My mother would leave me in his care at times when the hospital needed her to be alone. He paces around the room. ~
Herb: That's is insane. He's only a kid. Kids get into fights all the time.
Principal: he broke a poor girl's nose, stabbed another kid with a spork, and then nearly killed another one.
Herb: Look, you got to understand.
Principal: ( Waving his hand) I don't want to hear it Herb. I know his mother has recently passed way. I know he must be scared and confused, but that's not an excuse to hurt other kids.
Herb: (Looking at me) Did you tell them son? Did you tell them how the kids were harassing you?
~ I shook my head. ~
Principal: They're good kids Herb. They've never given us any trouble before. Tommy has been having issues Herb. I know you're trying to do good by him, but we're going to have to expel him. And if the parents choose to press charges, there's nothing I can do.
Herb: What are they gonna do? Put this poor kid in jail?
~The principal shrugged, then gave me a stern look.~
Principal: I hope you've learned a valuable lesson today Tommy. It's not good going around beating people up.
~ I could feel the tears well up again up and slowly fall down as I went to clutch my locket. ~
Tommy: My necklace! My necklace is gone! Father! I need to get my necklace.
Principal: What necklace? How could you afford a necklace?
Herb: What necklace son?
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Last year when a sickness took hold of the OCW roster. I stood in the front line while others played nice. And when that sickness got too strong and it multiplied, there were OCW wrestlers who wanted to give up. There were OCW wrestlers who were seemingly happy to let the sickness take over and let the OCW die a slow death. But I stood behind these OCW wrestlers, supported them, instilled confidence in them. I never gave up on them. I sacrificed my own ambitions to eliminate the sickness that was killing the OCW and it's wrestlers. And once the sickness was gone and we were cured, these same OCW wrestlers who used my shoulder to lean on, they turned their back on me. Each week they come out and they talk about their championships and how great they are. But just a few months ago, they were crying backstage because somebody hurt their feelings.
And I thought about it long and hard. Why did I do all that? Why did I put my self on the line? Why did I stick my neck out for people who were quick to turn their backs? And then I realized it served me no purpose. Fighting for the good name of the OCW and it's wrestlers left my body and soul feeling broken. They say "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." And after a hell of a year, all the roads I paved lead to failure. I think back to those early days and how alone and isolated I felt in the OCW. All I ever wanted was to feel acknowledged. And then I think about where I am now. And I realize I've been fighting all this time, just so the OCW will acknowledge me as one of their own. Even after all this time, I still feel like that little kid in the lunchroom. Alone. Isolated. Angry.
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~The end of day bell rings as the doors to the school open and the kids rush out. I spot little Stevie walking with Carlo who's face is still bruised from the beating I gave him. Stevie's dad pops his head out of his purple Volkswagen and wave the the boys. I quickly cross the street and get in front of the two boys. ~
TLS: Hey Stevie. I'm going to need that necklace you stole.
Little Stevie: How do you know my name?
Carlo: STRANGER DANGER!!!STRANGER DANGER!!!!
~ I snatch the backpack off Little Stevie's back and run as the crossing guards blow their whistles. I can hear Stevie's dad shouting at me. I make a quick turn and then into an alleyway. I catch my breath and then dig through the contents of little Stevie's backpack. I find the necklace in his lunchbox. After placing it in my pocket, I toss the backpack, then head down the alley and towards the backdoor to Original Joe's. They're probably getting my description to the Police, so I know I have to hurry. After walking through the kitchen and out the front door of the restaurant I make my towards the church at the corner. Once inside walk to the back and climb a flight of stairs and knock on the door to the pastor's office. ~
Herb: ( from behind the door) Uh...Who is it there?
TLS: Father, I need to speak to you for a minute.
Herb: (The door opens slowly, he sees me and welcomes me in) Hi. How may I help you?
~ I grab a metal folding chair and sit down. The Father goes back to his desk, he's been working on his sermon. He looks at me, trying to place my face. ~
Herb: You look awfully familiar, where do I know?
TLS: You don't sir. I'm actually looking for Tommy. I have something to give him.
Herb: Tommy? How do you know Tommy?
TLS: I uh. I work for the school. I found this in the lunch room. (pulls out the necklace) I think it's Tommy's.
Herb: (winces) Ah. Tommy's been gone for a couple of days now. They took him to a group home for troubled kids. He's been looking for the necklace, I'll make sure he gets it.
TLS: Do you mind if I give it to him? I'd really like to see him.
Herb: I'm not sure if they allow visitors. I'm still waiting to be approved by the city. Say, what'd you say your name was again?
TLS: Um.. My name is Lebron.
Herb: Lebron? That's a unique name.
~ I hand him the locket. ~
TLS: Can you make sure he gets this then Father?
Herb: (grabs the locket) I'll make sure of it. Thank you. And I don't mean to be rude but I have to finish preparing my sermon.
~ I nod and make my way out. ~
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My mother died in her sleep while. As a young kid I didn't fully understand what that would mean for me. I had held out hope that somehow she would magically be brought back to life. But that never happened. And I lost whatever it was that was inside of me that made you think happy thoughts. I went from group home, to foster care, to eventually finding my way back to Herb in my teen years. He told me the story the man who dropped off the locket and who would later also give money to pay for some of my necessities. I always thought that the benefactor was my Father, but now I see. In some sort of fucked up twisted time bending travel. I was there for me. When my mother died and I had no one else to turn to, it was me that saved me. I was disregarded and thrown out, unwanted, unloved.
All my life I've been fighting to be acknowledged and accepted. Endless failure lead to rejection that would lead to anger that lead to determination. This year I am determined to put my name in the history books and win the Illuminatus. Everything that has ever happened has lead me to this point. One final mountain, one final pyramid, one more shot at glory. At Illuminatus I will finally get the monkey off my back . The OCW will have no choice but to acknowledge and accept me.
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~ The rain is pouring down on a cold windy night. I find myself standing at an intersection of a busy street. The buildings look familiar, but things seem out of place. A young homeless man walks past me pushing a shopping cart full of umbrellas. I seem to remember him from another lifetime. I walk down the street and turn the corner and see a sign for Original Joe's. I look across the street at the buildings- a thrift store in the corner, a small park in the middle of the block, a small church at the far end of the intersection. I take a deep breath and hold it in. I'm home. I make my way towards the church at the end of the intersection. All the windows are boarded up. ~
Homeless man: Father's been dead for 20 years.
TLS: 20 years? What year is this?
Homeless man: It's 2039......
Little Stevie: Hey Tommy! Don't you get tired of eating peanut butter sandwiches? What's the matter? Your mom doesn't love you enough to make you a real lunch?
~The kids around the table would "oooh and ahhh". And then one of the kids would shout, "His mom is dead. He'd be eating ghost sandwiches. Hahahaha." Most times I would put my head down and eat my sandwich like it was the best sandwich ever made. I tried my best to ignore their harassment.~
Little Stevie: Hey Carlo, you think he's ever had a salami sandwich before? Maybe I should give him some of mine.
~ Carlo, before he became Stevie's sidekick was the butt of his jokes, until I got there.~
Carlo: Yeah I think he wants some.
" Little Stevie took a bite of his sandwich, chewed it real good, then spit it out on the table. He'd ball it up, then roll it down the table to me."
Little Stevie: Eat up, homeless loser. That's the best food you'll ever have in your life. Hahahahaha.
~ He'd point and laugh and get all the kids to chant " You're mom's a dead bitch." And most times, I'd close my eyes hold in the tears and picture myself far away from where I was.~
! SPLAT!
~ And then one day a piece of chewed up sandwich dipped in low fat milk hit in in the forehead while I had my eyes closed, and the roar of laughter set me off. I grabbed the lunch tray and smacked the first kid I saw, a girl named Janice. I may have broken have broken her nose, because the blood that came down her faces was like chocolate flowing from a fondue tower. I got up from my seat and stabbed the fat smelly kid in the arm with a spork. The kids started to scream and howl as I pulled Carlo by his long hair and onto the ground. I punched him repeatedly as I locked eyes with little Stevie. I can still picture that silly grin on little Stevie's face as he clutches something in his hand while the lunchroom monitors pulled me off a crying Carlo.~
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My time in the OCW has been filled with trials and tribulations. When I came in over 20 years ago, it was a hostile environment. Everyone on the roster was looking to take my head off. I kept to myself in those early days and focused on being the best wrestler I can be. But the early OCW mainstays never accepted me in their little circle. According to them, I had the stench of the ICWF all over me. That "love-hate" relationship between the 2 feds really did carry over backstage. None of the guys wanted to work with me, they felt that I needed to prove myself. There were few occasions where in those early
~ With all the strength she had left in her body, she sat herself up and then pulled me up on thedays that I was given an opportunity to prove my worth in the OCW. But when the opportunity did arise at Frost Bite 3, I captured the Hardcore Title. But still the OCW mainstays refused to acknowledge me. After losing the belt and toiling around the lower card I quietly left the OCW and returned to the ICWF. I felt defeated, I felt like a failure. But I vowed that I would return one day.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~ Every memory I have of my mother was her sick, tired, miserable. I never knew my father. And it made me hate him. ~
Mom: Tommy, come here son.
~ I put down the toy car I was playing with and head over to her bedside. She had spent the last 3 weeks in the hospital this time, her sickness had gotten worse. I slept on the chair in her room in the evening, and then would wake up and walk the 10 blocks from the hospital to the school. After school I'd head straight to the hospital. ~
Mom: Tommy, you are the strongest, bravest kid in the whole wide world. Do you know that?
~ I shake my head.~
Mom: Well you are honey. And I'm so proud of you. I wanted to give you something.
bed. She placed a a necklace with a locket around my neck. The necklace hung down and the locket rested right near my heart.~
Mom: This is so you know, that I will always be close to your heart baby.
Tommy: What if I lose it mommy?
Mom: You won't Tommy. I believe in you.
~ I clutch the locket. ~
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The OCW hall of fame is full of wrestlers that I've beaten. I've captured most of the belts that mean anything, I've accomplished as much as anyone can... with the exception of one thing. The OCW World Title. Last year I was this close to winning the Illuminatus and cementing my legacy in the OCW. But I failed. Last year I earned the opportunity to fight for the World Title after 20 years in the OCW, and again I failed. I watched guys I came into the business with, PIC and Kalli, return after years away from the business win the OCW title. I watched guys I've beaten like Outcast and Bifford with OCW title runs. And it burns me to the core seeing these guys succeed at something I've failed time and again. And that is to prove my worth in the OCW.
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Principal: This is bad. The parents want to press charges.
~ I sat in the principal's office with my hands folded, tears streaming down my cheeks. The principal had just gotten off the phone with one of the parents who was irate and yelling. ~
Principal: Herb, they want him to go to jail.
~ Herb, otherwise known as Father T. was the pastor of the neighborhood church. My mother would leave me in his care at times when the hospital needed her to be alone. He paces around the room. ~
Herb: That's is insane. He's only a kid. Kids get into fights all the time.
Principal: he broke a poor girl's nose, stabbed another kid with a spork, and then nearly killed another one.
Herb: Look, you got to understand.
Principal: ( Waving his hand) I don't want to hear it Herb. I know his mother has recently passed way. I know he must be scared and confused, but that's not an excuse to hurt other kids.
Herb: (Looking at me) Did you tell them son? Did you tell them how the kids were harassing you?
~ I shook my head. ~
Principal: They're good kids Herb. They've never given us any trouble before. Tommy has been having issues Herb. I know you're trying to do good by him, but we're going to have to expel him. And if the parents choose to press charges, there's nothing I can do.
Herb: What are they gonna do? Put this poor kid in jail?
~The principal shrugged, then gave me a stern look.~
Principal: I hope you've learned a valuable lesson today Tommy. It's not good going around beating people up.
~ I could feel the tears well up again up and slowly fall down as I went to clutch my locket. ~
Tommy: My necklace! My necklace is gone! Father! I need to get my necklace.
Principal: What necklace? How could you afford a necklace?
Herb: What necklace son?
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Last year when a sickness took hold of the OCW roster. I stood in the front line while others played nice. And when that sickness got too strong and it multiplied, there were OCW wrestlers who wanted to give up. There were OCW wrestlers who were seemingly happy to let the sickness take over and let the OCW die a slow death. But I stood behind these OCW wrestlers, supported them, instilled confidence in them. I never gave up on them. I sacrificed my own ambitions to eliminate the sickness that was killing the OCW and it's wrestlers. And once the sickness was gone and we were cured, these same OCW wrestlers who used my shoulder to lean on, they turned their back on me. Each week they come out and they talk about their championships and how great they are. But just a few months ago, they were crying backstage because somebody hurt their feelings.
And I thought about it long and hard. Why did I do all that? Why did I put my self on the line? Why did I stick my neck out for people who were quick to turn their backs? And then I realized it served me no purpose. Fighting for the good name of the OCW and it's wrestlers left my body and soul feeling broken. They say "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." And after a hell of a year, all the roads I paved lead to failure. I think back to those early days and how alone and isolated I felt in the OCW. All I ever wanted was to feel acknowledged. And then I think about where I am now. And I realize I've been fighting all this time, just so the OCW will acknowledge me as one of their own. Even after all this time, I still feel like that little kid in the lunchroom. Alone. Isolated. Angry.
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~The end of day bell rings as the doors to the school open and the kids rush out. I spot little Stevie walking with Carlo who's face is still bruised from the beating I gave him. Stevie's dad pops his head out of his purple Volkswagen and wave the the boys. I quickly cross the street and get in front of the two boys. ~
TLS: Hey Stevie. I'm going to need that necklace you stole.
Little Stevie: How do you know my name?
Carlo: STRANGER DANGER!!!STRANGER DANGER!!!!
~ I snatch the backpack off Little Stevie's back and run as the crossing guards blow their whistles. I can hear Stevie's dad shouting at me. I make a quick turn and then into an alleyway. I catch my breath and then dig through the contents of little Stevie's backpack. I find the necklace in his lunchbox. After placing it in my pocket, I toss the backpack, then head down the alley and towards the backdoor to Original Joe's. They're probably getting my description to the Police, so I know I have to hurry. After walking through the kitchen and out the front door of the restaurant I make my towards the church at the corner. Once inside walk to the back and climb a flight of stairs and knock on the door to the pastor's office. ~
Herb: ( from behind the door) Uh...Who is it there?
TLS: Father, I need to speak to you for a minute.
Herb: (The door opens slowly, he sees me and welcomes me in) Hi. How may I help you?
~ I grab a metal folding chair and sit down. The Father goes back to his desk, he's been working on his sermon. He looks at me, trying to place my face. ~
Herb: You look awfully familiar, where do I know?
TLS: You don't sir. I'm actually looking for Tommy. I have something to give him.
Herb: Tommy? How do you know Tommy?
TLS: I uh. I work for the school. I found this in the lunch room. (pulls out the necklace) I think it's Tommy's.
Herb: (winces) Ah. Tommy's been gone for a couple of days now. They took him to a group home for troubled kids. He's been looking for the necklace, I'll make sure he gets it.
TLS: Do you mind if I give it to him? I'd really like to see him.
Herb: I'm not sure if they allow visitors. I'm still waiting to be approved by the city. Say, what'd you say your name was again?
TLS: Um.. My name is Lebron.
Herb: Lebron? That's a unique name.
~ I hand him the locket. ~
TLS: Can you make sure he gets this then Father?
Herb: (grabs the locket) I'll make sure of it. Thank you. And I don't mean to be rude but I have to finish preparing my sermon.
~ I nod and make my way out. ~
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My mother died in her sleep while. As a young kid I didn't fully understand what that would mean for me. I had held out hope that somehow she would magically be brought back to life. But that never happened. And I lost whatever it was that was inside of me that made you think happy thoughts. I went from group home, to foster care, to eventually finding my way back to Herb in my teen years. He told me the story the man who dropped off the locket and who would later also give money to pay for some of my necessities. I always thought that the benefactor was my Father, but now I see. In some sort of fucked up twisted time bending travel. I was there for me. When my mother died and I had no one else to turn to, it was me that saved me. I was disregarded and thrown out, unwanted, unloved.
All my life I've been fighting to be acknowledged and accepted. Endless failure lead to rejection that would lead to anger that lead to determination. This year I am determined to put my name in the history books and win the Illuminatus. Everything that has ever happened has lead me to this point. One final mountain, one final pyramid, one more shot at glory. At Illuminatus I will finally get the monkey off my back . The OCW will have no choice but to acknowledge and accept me.
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~ The rain is pouring down on a cold windy night. I find myself standing at an intersection of a busy street. The buildings look familiar, but things seem out of place. A young homeless man walks past me pushing a shopping cart full of umbrellas. I seem to remember him from another lifetime. I walk down the street and turn the corner and see a sign for Original Joe's. I look across the street at the buildings- a thrift store in the corner, a small park in the middle of the block, a small church at the far end of the intersection. I take a deep breath and hold it in. I'm home. I make my way towards the church at the end of the intersection. All the windows are boarded up. ~
Homeless man: Father's been dead for 20 years.
TLS: 20 years? What year is this?
Homeless man: It's 2039......