Post by Marcus Welsh on Jan 30, 2023 14:41:42 GMT -5
~We cut to the OCW Press Room for an unscheduled news conference. Reporters have assembled...those who had nothing better to do. They whisper and wonder about what might be going on~
Reporter Guy: Do you think another member has joined the bastards?
Reporter Dude: I heard Sahara rage quit!
Reporterson: Nah, this has got to be about PIC’s hair.
Reporter Man: You’re all wrong, this is definitely about Goon 83 joining twitter.
Reporter Woman: You guys like my outfit?
~Everybody stops speaking as Marcus Welsh enters carrying a briefcase that reads ‘PROUD AND STRONG’ on the side. He stands in front of the podium~
Marcus Welsh: I want to thank you all for coming. I’ve got a tee time in less than an hour so I’ll keep this brief.
~He slowly opens the briefcase~
Marcus Welsh: Here at OCW we’re always looking for feedback from our supporters. The real ones…
~He glares at a reporter wearing a “Can’t all feds just get along?!” shirt. The reporter is immediately beaten and removed from the room~
Marcus Welsh: So, when I heard that fans were a little perturbed over the lack of competitive Massacre matches...I thought to myself, yea, I’ve heard that one before. In OCW we practice the lost art of building people up. Whether they are new, struggling, or just someone looking for a chance to showcase their skills...we like to use our weekly events to enhance and promote the extraordinarily talented and creative minds that flock to participate in the greatest promotion on the planet.
~Welsh looks down inside the opened briefcase. There is no gold shine. Only a red one~
Marcus Welsh: However…
~He starts to lift what’s inside the briefcase~
Marcus Welsh: I do understand that it isn’t all about me and my wishes. It’s about what you, the fans want. So, with that in mind, I’d like to introduce…
~The room ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’~
Marcus Welsh: The official Massacre Championship. This belt will be defended every, single week on Monday Night Massacre. It will never be defended on PPV. This title has been introduced to ensure we have a highly competitive, meaningful match on every Massacre.
~The room claps~
Marcus Welsh: Thank you, thank you, you are too kind.
~Welsh asks for more claps. They give him more claps. He then tells them all to settle down~
Marcus Welsh: And it all begins THIS WEEK on the Proud and Strong Cruise Ship as Dylan Thomas will face Jacki O’Lantern in the Main Event for the Massacre Championship in an Icicle Death Match!
~Huge ovation from the room. Welsh says they are ‘too much’ while urging more cheers on~
Marcus Welsh: Seriously, this isn’t necessary.
~He asks for more applause with his hands~
Marcus Welsh: Wow, very humbling.
~He then motions that they get quiet with security stepping in...they all quiet down immediately~
Marcus Welsh: So, there ya go. The Massacre Championship makes it debut THIS Monday with Dylan Thomas taking on Jacki O’Lantern to decide who the FIRST EVER Massacre champion will be. Alright, I’ve got a cruise ship I’ve got to board. We’ll see you all out on the ocean!
~Welsh places the title back in his briefcase before exiting, refusing to answer any further questions~
Reporter Guy: Do you think another member has joined the bastards?
Reporter Dude: I heard Sahara rage quit!
Reporterson: Nah, this has got to be about PIC’s hair.
Reporter Man: You’re all wrong, this is definitely about Goon 83 joining twitter.
Reporter Woman: You guys like my outfit?
~Everybody stops speaking as Marcus Welsh enters carrying a briefcase that reads ‘PROUD AND STRONG’ on the side. He stands in front of the podium~
Marcus Welsh: I want to thank you all for coming. I’ve got a tee time in less than an hour so I’ll keep this brief.
~He slowly opens the briefcase~
Marcus Welsh: Here at OCW we’re always looking for feedback from our supporters. The real ones…
~He glares at a reporter wearing a “Can’t all feds just get along?!” shirt. The reporter is immediately beaten and removed from the room~
Marcus Welsh: So, when I heard that fans were a little perturbed over the lack of competitive Massacre matches...I thought to myself, yea, I’ve heard that one before. In OCW we practice the lost art of building people up. Whether they are new, struggling, or just someone looking for a chance to showcase their skills...we like to use our weekly events to enhance and promote the extraordinarily talented and creative minds that flock to participate in the greatest promotion on the planet.
~Welsh looks down inside the opened briefcase. There is no gold shine. Only a red one~
Marcus Welsh: However…
~He starts to lift what’s inside the briefcase~
Marcus Welsh: I do understand that it isn’t all about me and my wishes. It’s about what you, the fans want. So, with that in mind, I’d like to introduce…
~The room ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’~
Marcus Welsh: The official Massacre Championship. This belt will be defended every, single week on Monday Night Massacre. It will never be defended on PPV. This title has been introduced to ensure we have a highly competitive, meaningful match on every Massacre.
~The room claps~
Marcus Welsh: Thank you, thank you, you are too kind.
~Welsh asks for more claps. They give him more claps. He then tells them all to settle down~
Marcus Welsh: And it all begins THIS WEEK on the Proud and Strong Cruise Ship as Dylan Thomas will face Jacki O’Lantern in the Main Event for the Massacre Championship in an Icicle Death Match!
~Huge ovation from the room. Welsh says they are ‘too much’ while urging more cheers on~
Marcus Welsh: Seriously, this isn’t necessary.
~He asks for more applause with his hands~
Marcus Welsh: Wow, very humbling.
~He then motions that they get quiet with security stepping in...they all quiet down immediately~
Marcus Welsh: So, there ya go. The Massacre Championship makes it debut THIS Monday with Dylan Thomas taking on Jacki O’Lantern to decide who the FIRST EVER Massacre champion will be. Alright, I’ve got a cruise ship I’ve got to board. We’ll see you all out on the ocean!
~Welsh places the title back in his briefcase before exiting, refusing to answer any further questions~