Post by Lord Allton on Dec 28, 2022 6:38:08 GMT -5
This was supposed to be posted on December 20th, but I got too busy in the lead up.
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The camera pans over the OCW Equality audience who are losing their minds and we cut to Lissandra.
Lissandra: Good evening Equality fans and welcome to episode 20 of Tuesday Night Equality! I am, as ever, Lissandra Thomas and holy hell! What a packed show we have for you tonight. But of course it is our Christmas celebration! Now of course we had our White Elephant thing last night, but the party never stops in OCW - because not only is it Christmas in a few short days but……our esteemed GM Lord Allton (aka Rob Culliford) turns 36 on Thursday so, yes it is a birthday celebration as well! We will be having a birthday celebration later tonight, so stay tuned!
Now, um…. As you know if you’re a regular watcher of Equality (which, c’mon you should be) tonight’s main event is the first in the best of three matches between CJ O’Donnell and Dylan Thomas, my husband. But Dylan….is….
Suddenly Watch Me Shine by Fozzy blasts from the speakers!
Lissandra: ……..Here tonight?!!
The curtain jerks and out steps Dylan Thomas looking spaced out just like a few Massacres ago.
Lissandra: Oh…. oh…. Dylan, baby…. No, what have they done to you?!
The curtain jerks again and the two men and one woman from a few weeks ago enter behind Dylan with smiles on their faces.
Lissandra: Oh God it’s these clowns!
Lopa asks politely for a microphone.
Lopa: Hello, Equality Fans….!
The Equality Faithful cheer their Dylan but boo who is with him. It’s not the A-List Family, so fuck these guys.
Lopa: Oh, now don’t be like that! The Children of the Vard are here to help each and every one of you here, tonight. Just like we did with the Alpha here, Dylan Thomas. And……..
Lopa turns her head towards Lissandra.
Lopa: Mrs Thomas. The Alpha has decided that he wants you at his side. Stand and join your husband at his side.
Lissandra rips off her headset and storms over to Lopa, getting right in her face.
Lissandra: If you don’t give me my husband back properly right now, I’ll….I’ll
Lopa: Ichabod! Jeremiah!
The two men from a few Massacres ago rush in front of Lopa to protect her and intimidate Lissandra much to the ire of the Equality crowd.
Allton: OK STOP! Lissandra, go and return to the announcer table and allow me to handle this.
Lissandra: B-but….
Allton: Please. I do not need a lawsuit before Christmas.
The Equality crowd cheers upon hearing Allton’s voice. He enters through the curtain on Quinn with Tank and the Larossia brothers in tow.
Lopa: Ah, the King of Equality himself…….or should I say ‘Lord’.......hehehehe.
Allton: Shut up! You’re on MY show, kidnapping one of MY friends, harassing one of MY Equality employees and friends! As far as I am concerned, that’s three strikes already. Now… your boys kind of look like wrestlers so, how about they have a match with my boys right now?
Lopa: Always so crass, the Alpha has told me all about you.
Allton: I’m sure he has.
Lopa: But no, my brothers will not be in a match with your ‘boys’ tonight. We brought the Alpha here as a gesture of good will given that he has a match later tonight.
Allton smirks turning his back on Lopa and winks at the Larossia brothers and Tank. The Larossia brothers then both boot Jeremiah and Ichabod in the head as Lopa looks on horrified. Tank grabs hold of a still spaced Dylan and carries him to the back.
Lopa: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
?!!!!!!!!!!!!
Allton: I didn’t see anything, and if I didn’t see it, it didn’t happen. Welcome to the wrestling business, bitch.
Equality goes for a break.
===============================================================
Lissandra: Welcome back everyone. Now, our first match of the evening is a…..Marcy creation. A ‘Kiss Under The Mistletoe’ match. Marcy is already in the ring looking very um………festive.
Lissandra isn’t wrong as Marcy The Head Mistress is already in the ring wearing a costume, that can only be described as super slutty (but classy) Mrs Claus.
Marcy: Good evening, everybody!
The crowd cheers.
Marcy: Now, I’m sure everyone is wondering what a Kiss Under The Mistletoe match is right?!
The crowd cheers again.
Marcy: Well! It’s very, very simple. The loser has to kiss the winner under the mistletoe!! So…. Gilbert?
Marcy begins to lay down on the mat.
Lissandra: What is Marcy doing?
Marcy: Get out here honey, and take your medicine! Hehe!
Suddenly the Gilbert remix of Sexy Boy hits the speakers and a very wary Gilbert makes his way down to the ring, keeping a (lazy) eye on Marcy all the time. He very cautiously climbs into the ring. Marcy then lays on her back and she seductively beckons him with a finger.
Marcy: Lay on me, big boy…
Gilbert: W-what?!
Marcy: You heard me. Lay on me.
Gilbert stammers! He doesn’t believe his luck! He’s about to get yet another single win!
Gilbert: Okay!
Hurriedly, Gilbert races over to Marcy who at the very last moment, catches Gilbert in a small package. She shrugs to Gilbert after Scruff counts the pin.
Marcy: Sorry, honey!
Marcy then pulls out some mistletoe, looking hopeful as she helps the young kid to his feet. To start with Gilbert says how he doesn’t want to. Marcy tricked him… But then he notices Marcy’s outfit. And he is a red blooded male, the nerdiest of the nerds or not. Marcy looks down, noticing and Gilbert tries his best to cover up. Marcy smiles holding the mistletoe above the two of them and points to her cheek. Gilbert obliges! Much to the crowd’s delight. The two then head backstage with one another hand in hand. Is this the start of something new?
Lissandra: Well…. That was something. We’ll be back after this break, fans!
=============================================================
Lissandra:..And welcome back to Equality, fans. Now coming up next, we have the Reindeer Ruckus match, where the Viagra Boys face off against Gregory the Elephant and Batbear. Let’s take it to the parking lot where we have the Advocate for Gregory the Elephant, Mike Zybala standing by. Mike, you there?
Zybala: Hello Lissie…
Lissandra: So first of all, nice job trolling everyone in the white elephant thing yesterday.
Zybala: Haha thanks!
Lissandra: So…how are Gregory and Batbear tonight?
Zybala: Yes, they’re well. I -
??: Hey, Zybala, ese…!
Suddenly one of the Viagra boys, Gustavo wanders into shot wearing reindeer antlers.
Gustavo: I’m not sure about this one, homes.
Zybala: Come on, Vincent, you look great.
Gustavo: I’m Gustavo, ese.
Zybala: Oh, sorry. I think Rob only learned your names like five minutes ago while writing this.
Gustavo: Huh?
Zybala: Never mind. Besides…
Zybala and Gustavo hear a noise behind them. They witness Batbear clawing at Vincent’s stomach.
Zybala: …..I think we’ve already begun!
Gustavo: Vincent!!!!!
Gustavo thinks about running over to save his brother but has a better idea.
Gustavo: I ain’t getting involved with a fucking BEAR man….!
Zybala watches Gustavo run out of the parking lot and smiles while climbing up onto Gregory’s back.
Zybala: OK, big guy. Tag in.
Gregory rears his trunk and holds out his leg. Batbear sees this and ‘tags’ out as the two animals cross paws/legs. Zybala looks down at the fallen Viagra boy who is beginning to stand somehow!
Zybala: Be merciful, Gregs, it is Christmas after all.
Gregory rears his trunk again and ‘superkicks’ the Viagra boy apparently known as Vincent and his reindeer antlers fall on the floor. Gregory then stands on him as Greg’s antlers remain. And Batbear’s antlers? He ate them. 1…..2…..3!!!!
Belvedere: Here are your winners for the Reindeer Ruckus match!!!!!!!!!! Gregory the Elephant and Batbear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We then cut backstage where we see Jade Spritz and Carmen fuck up their dressing room because their men have once again failed.
Jade Spritz: I’ve had enough of this bullshit. Let’s get out of here.
Jade Spritz and Carmen then storm out of the room and slam the door. The camera then pans back to Lissandra after heading for a break.
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Lissandra: Welcome back to Equality everyone. Coming up next is Chastity Temple and John E. Depth vs. The Weekend II. But before the match however, the Weekend apparently have something to say. So let’s head backstage.
The camera cuts to the locker room where Saturday and Sunday are standing very angsty. It is Sunday to speak first.
Sunday: Tonight, before we go out there and kick Chastity Temple’s head clean off of her shoulders…..we have an announcement - and that announcement is simple.
The Weekend turn away from the camera and remove their masks! They reveal themselves to be…..THE DRAVERS TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nathan: We think that this whole Outsiders Tag Team Tournament is a joke. The Weekend were taken out early of the tournament so this time….we’re going to fuck shit up for Allton and Zybala.
Jonathan: That’s right. Because as you will see….. Jonathan points downwards revealing a tied up John E. Depth! Jonny is a little indisposed. Now we know that we can’t enter the tournament but we CAN get what we want and what is it that we want?
Nathan: The winners of the tournament face US for their title shots!
Suddenly, Lord Allton enters into shot, staring a hole through the Dravers twins.
Lord Allton: You two go away for god knows how long and you come back to full on demand a shot like this? I tell you what, you win tonight? I’ll consider it. That is assuming you even win tonight. But for me to even consider something of that magnitude, you need to do something for me.
Nathan: Which is?
Allton: You’ll find out soon enough. Get John untied! I’m not having another match cancelled through bullshit shenanigans!
Suddenly Equality security enter the shot and untie an unconscious John E. Depth. The twins then smile at one another and walk out to the ring where Chastity Temple is waiting, pacing up and down wanting John E. Depth to hurry up. Suddenly ‘Bad Guy’ by Eminem blasts from the speakers and through the curtain step the Dravers Twins, as they drag a still nigh-on unconscious John E. Depth to the ring. Chastity looks shocked and slides out of the ring to save her partner but unfortunately she is dropped with a rather viscous looking Seeing Double double superkick. Nathan then drags her back to the ring and locks in the Ode to Alex Kimura lock while Jonathan locks in a Dravers Death MK II on Depth to keep him at bay. Chastity screams in agony and with her free hand taps out!
Belvedere: Here are your winners…….the Dravers Twins!
Lissandra: It’s almost main event time, folks where Dylan goes one on one with CJ O’Donnell! And if that woman….comes out with him, well………
Kings Never Die by Eminem hits and CJ O’Donnell enters with his confident swagger and in the ring he looks towards the entrance way with a smirk as Fozzy’s Watch Me Shine blasts to the delight of the Equality Faithful. That is until they realise that the spaced out Dylan Thomas is still being hounded by the Children of the Vard and the She-Wolf of the Pack, Lopa. Lopa points to the ring with a confident smile.
Dylan nods and sprints down the aisle sliding into the ring as Scruff rings the bell. CJ O’Donnell looks ready for a fight as ever but Dylan fights through CJ’s strikes and ducks under a Distinguished Plex before lifting him up onto his shoulders. Dylan falls backwards and nails CJ with the Perfect Finisher. Scruff gets into a counting position preemptively expecting Dylan to go for the count, Dylan however runs at the ropes and punts CJ O’Donnell square in the skull!!!!!!!
Lissandra: Ohhhhh!!!!! Dylan covers! 1…..2…..3!!!!!! Dylan is the winner of the first match of the best of three series with CJ.
Lopa walks down to the ring applauding and she beckons Dylan out of the ring, who follows her. Lissandra stands up.
Lissandra: Dylan! B-baby! Wait! It’s Rob’s birthday celebration. Surely you don’t want to miss that…?
Dylan stares back over his shoulder at his wife, still with that spaced out look in his eye. He follows Lopa back up the ramp.
Lissandra: Dylan! I love you!
Dylan pauses and again looks back over his shoulder. A faint glimmer in his eyes at these words suggests that the old A-Lister is there…But before Dylan can react, Lopa puts her arms around his shoulders and she begins to lead him out of the arena. The crowd boo as Equality goes for a break.
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After the break, Roxxie Gobbler is standing in the ring looking at the hard cam with the A-List Family surrounding her. In the ring there is a long buffet style table with a large chocolate cake in one of the corners.
Roxxie: Welcome ladies and gents to Lord Allton’s birthday celebration!!!!!!!!! So let’s get the man of the hour out here! Ladies and Gentlemen……….Lord Allton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Devil Inside Me blasts from the speakers and Lord Allton emerges from the curtain in his leg braces much to everyone’s delight. He makes his way to the ring, slapping hands on the way. A few people shout ‘happy birthday Lord Allton’ to which he humbly replies ‘thank-you, merry Christmas to you’.
He climbs into the ring shaking hands and hugging everyone of the A-List Family as Roxxie passes him her microphone.
Lord Allton: Look at all this food! This all looks amazing…
Allton then very cheekily goes over to the chocolate cake, sticks his finger in and tastes that chocolatey goodness as the crowd laughs and giggles.
Lord Allton: Well, as from now….Christmas is five days away and yet, my birthday is 2 days away where your dashingly handsome general manager turns the ripe old age of 36.
Allton shudders.
Allton: This year I have asked everyone of the A-List Family to forgo presents for me and instead we are going to have a birthday celebration the way that we of the wrestling business only know how! Violence!!!!!!!!!
The Equality Faithful cheer.
Allton: So, Mr. Zybala……. If you wouldn’t mind……..
The curtain flies open and a body is sent hurtling through! It’s brother Ichabod of the Children of the Vard! Seconds later Brother Jeremiah is sent through the curtain. The two stand up and look over their shoulders in fear as the jovial Mike Zybala (with a happy birthday Rob t-shirt on) follows them down. At the ring the Children look up and see their predicament. Everyone of the A-List looks down at them menacingly. Allton looks down from the ring with a tilt of his head and a smirk.
Allton: Family!!!! Get them!!!!!
The A-List Family all leap out of the ring, surrounding the Children of the Vard as the Larossia Brothers grab hold of them and the Children cower in fear.
Allton: You kids are in OUR world now. And if your mistress doesn’t give us Dylan back right this very instant, well, it isn’t going to end well for you is it? So blondie…. I know you’re back there still….what do you say?
A few moments go by and nothing happens so Lord Allton nods at Vincenzo who boots Brother Ichabod in the skull. Still nothing. Allton then nods to Frankie who grabs Brother Jeremiah round the neck and proceeds to chokeslam him, onto the concrete. Still nothing. Allton bends down to the Children.
Allton: Well…….your little mistress doesn’t care about you does she, boys? Here’s a merry Christmas from the Birthday Boy as compensation.
The Larossia brothers slide the Children into the ring and Tank grabs hold of them both by the neck. He then shoves the two of them into the cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Allton turns to the camera.
Allton: Happy holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The camera pans over the OCW Equality audience who are losing their minds and we cut to Lissandra.
Lissandra: Good evening Equality fans and welcome to episode 20 of Tuesday Night Equality! I am, as ever, Lissandra Thomas and holy hell! What a packed show we have for you tonight. But of course it is our Christmas celebration! Now of course we had our White Elephant thing last night, but the party never stops in OCW - because not only is it Christmas in a few short days but……our esteemed GM Lord Allton (aka Rob Culliford) turns 36 on Thursday so, yes it is a birthday celebration as well! We will be having a birthday celebration later tonight, so stay tuned!
Now, um…. As you know if you’re a regular watcher of Equality (which, c’mon you should be) tonight’s main event is the first in the best of three matches between CJ O’Donnell and Dylan Thomas, my husband. But Dylan….is….
Suddenly Watch Me Shine by Fozzy blasts from the speakers!
Lissandra: ……..Here tonight?!!
The curtain jerks and out steps Dylan Thomas looking spaced out just like a few Massacres ago.
Lissandra: Oh…. oh…. Dylan, baby…. No, what have they done to you?!
The curtain jerks again and the two men and one woman from a few weeks ago enter behind Dylan with smiles on their faces.
Lissandra: Oh God it’s these clowns!
Lopa asks politely for a microphone.
Lopa: Hello, Equality Fans….!
The Equality Faithful cheer their Dylan but boo who is with him. It’s not the A-List Family, so fuck these guys.
Lopa: Oh, now don’t be like that! The Children of the Vard are here to help each and every one of you here, tonight. Just like we did with the Alpha here, Dylan Thomas. And……..
Lopa turns her head towards Lissandra.
Lopa: Mrs Thomas. The Alpha has decided that he wants you at his side. Stand and join your husband at his side.
Lissandra rips off her headset and storms over to Lopa, getting right in her face.
Lissandra: If you don’t give me my husband back properly right now, I’ll….I’ll
Lopa: Ichabod! Jeremiah!
The two men from a few Massacres ago rush in front of Lopa to protect her and intimidate Lissandra much to the ire of the Equality crowd.
Allton: OK STOP! Lissandra, go and return to the announcer table and allow me to handle this.
Lissandra: B-but….
Allton: Please. I do not need a lawsuit before Christmas.
The Equality crowd cheers upon hearing Allton’s voice. He enters through the curtain on Quinn with Tank and the Larossia brothers in tow.
Lopa: Ah, the King of Equality himself…….or should I say ‘Lord’.......hehehehe.
Allton: Shut up! You’re on MY show, kidnapping one of MY friends, harassing one of MY Equality employees and friends! As far as I am concerned, that’s three strikes already. Now… your boys kind of look like wrestlers so, how about they have a match with my boys right now?
Lopa: Always so crass, the Alpha has told me all about you.
Allton: I’m sure he has.
Lopa: But no, my brothers will not be in a match with your ‘boys’ tonight. We brought the Alpha here as a gesture of good will given that he has a match later tonight.
Allton smirks turning his back on Lopa and winks at the Larossia brothers and Tank. The Larossia brothers then both boot Jeremiah and Ichabod in the head as Lopa looks on horrified. Tank grabs hold of a still spaced Dylan and carries him to the back.
Lopa: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
?!!!!!!!!!!!!Allton: I didn’t see anything, and if I didn’t see it, it didn’t happen. Welcome to the wrestling business, bitch.
Equality goes for a break.
===============================================================
Lissandra: Welcome back everyone. Now, our first match of the evening is a…..Marcy creation. A ‘Kiss Under The Mistletoe’ match. Marcy is already in the ring looking very um………festive.
Lissandra isn’t wrong as Marcy The Head Mistress is already in the ring wearing a costume, that can only be described as super slutty (but classy) Mrs Claus.
Marcy: Good evening, everybody!
The crowd cheers.
Marcy: Now, I’m sure everyone is wondering what a Kiss Under The Mistletoe match is right?!
The crowd cheers again.
Marcy: Well! It’s very, very simple. The loser has to kiss the winner under the mistletoe!! So…. Gilbert?
Marcy begins to lay down on the mat.
Lissandra: What is Marcy doing?
Marcy: Get out here honey, and take your medicine! Hehe!
Suddenly the Gilbert remix of Sexy Boy hits the speakers and a very wary Gilbert makes his way down to the ring, keeping a (lazy) eye on Marcy all the time. He very cautiously climbs into the ring. Marcy then lays on her back and she seductively beckons him with a finger.
Marcy: Lay on me, big boy…
Gilbert: W-what?!
Marcy: You heard me. Lay on me.
Gilbert stammers! He doesn’t believe his luck! He’s about to get yet another single win!
Gilbert: Okay!
Hurriedly, Gilbert races over to Marcy who at the very last moment, catches Gilbert in a small package. She shrugs to Gilbert after Scruff counts the pin.
Marcy: Sorry, honey!
Marcy then pulls out some mistletoe, looking hopeful as she helps the young kid to his feet. To start with Gilbert says how he doesn’t want to. Marcy tricked him… But then he notices Marcy’s outfit. And he is a red blooded male, the nerdiest of the nerds or not. Marcy looks down, noticing and Gilbert tries his best to cover up. Marcy smiles holding the mistletoe above the two of them and points to her cheek. Gilbert obliges! Much to the crowd’s delight. The two then head backstage with one another hand in hand. Is this the start of something new?
Lissandra: Well…. That was something. We’ll be back after this break, fans!
=============================================================
Lissandra:..And welcome back to Equality, fans. Now coming up next, we have the Reindeer Ruckus match, where the Viagra Boys face off against Gregory the Elephant and Batbear. Let’s take it to the parking lot where we have the Advocate for Gregory the Elephant, Mike Zybala standing by. Mike, you there?
Zybala: Hello Lissie…
Lissandra: So first of all, nice job trolling everyone in the white elephant thing yesterday.
Zybala: Haha thanks!
Lissandra: So…how are Gregory and Batbear tonight?
Zybala: Yes, they’re well. I -
??: Hey, Zybala, ese…!
Suddenly one of the Viagra boys, Gustavo wanders into shot wearing reindeer antlers.
Gustavo: I’m not sure about this one, homes.
Zybala: Come on, Vincent, you look great.
Gustavo: I’m Gustavo, ese.
Zybala: Oh, sorry. I think Rob only learned your names like five minutes ago while writing this.
Gustavo: Huh?
Zybala: Never mind. Besides…
Zybala and Gustavo hear a noise behind them. They witness Batbear clawing at Vincent’s stomach.
Zybala: …..I think we’ve already begun!
Gustavo: Vincent!!!!!
Gustavo thinks about running over to save his brother but has a better idea.
Gustavo: I ain’t getting involved with a fucking BEAR man….!
Zybala watches Gustavo run out of the parking lot and smiles while climbing up onto Gregory’s back.
Zybala: OK, big guy. Tag in.
Gregory rears his trunk and holds out his leg. Batbear sees this and ‘tags’ out as the two animals cross paws/legs. Zybala looks down at the fallen Viagra boy who is beginning to stand somehow!
Zybala: Be merciful, Gregs, it is Christmas after all.
Gregory rears his trunk again and ‘superkicks’ the Viagra boy apparently known as Vincent and his reindeer antlers fall on the floor. Gregory then stands on him as Greg’s antlers remain. And Batbear’s antlers? He ate them. 1…..2…..3!!!!
Belvedere: Here are your winners for the Reindeer Ruckus match!!!!!!!!!! Gregory the Elephant and Batbear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We then cut backstage where we see Jade Spritz and Carmen fuck up their dressing room because their men have once again failed.
Jade Spritz: I’ve had enough of this bullshit. Let’s get out of here.
Jade Spritz and Carmen then storm out of the room and slam the door. The camera then pans back to Lissandra after heading for a break.
=====================================================================
Lissandra: Welcome back to Equality everyone. Coming up next is Chastity Temple and John E. Depth vs. The Weekend II. But before the match however, the Weekend apparently have something to say. So let’s head backstage.
The camera cuts to the locker room where Saturday and Sunday are standing very angsty. It is Sunday to speak first.
Sunday: Tonight, before we go out there and kick Chastity Temple’s head clean off of her shoulders…..we have an announcement - and that announcement is simple.
The Weekend turn away from the camera and remove their masks! They reveal themselves to be…..THE DRAVERS TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nathan: We think that this whole Outsiders Tag Team Tournament is a joke. The Weekend were taken out early of the tournament so this time….we’re going to fuck shit up for Allton and Zybala.
Jonathan: That’s right. Because as you will see….. Jonathan points downwards revealing a tied up John E. Depth! Jonny is a little indisposed. Now we know that we can’t enter the tournament but we CAN get what we want and what is it that we want?
Nathan: The winners of the tournament face US for their title shots!
Suddenly, Lord Allton enters into shot, staring a hole through the Dravers twins.
Lord Allton: You two go away for god knows how long and you come back to full on demand a shot like this? I tell you what, you win tonight? I’ll consider it. That is assuming you even win tonight. But for me to even consider something of that magnitude, you need to do something for me.
Nathan: Which is?
Allton: You’ll find out soon enough. Get John untied! I’m not having another match cancelled through bullshit shenanigans!
Suddenly Equality security enter the shot and untie an unconscious John E. Depth. The twins then smile at one another and walk out to the ring where Chastity Temple is waiting, pacing up and down wanting John E. Depth to hurry up. Suddenly ‘Bad Guy’ by Eminem blasts from the speakers and through the curtain step the Dravers Twins, as they drag a still nigh-on unconscious John E. Depth to the ring. Chastity looks shocked and slides out of the ring to save her partner but unfortunately she is dropped with a rather viscous looking Seeing Double double superkick. Nathan then drags her back to the ring and locks in the Ode to Alex Kimura lock while Jonathan locks in a Dravers Death MK II on Depth to keep him at bay. Chastity screams in agony and with her free hand taps out!
Belvedere: Here are your winners…….the Dravers Twins!
Lissandra: It’s almost main event time, folks where Dylan goes one on one with CJ O’Donnell! And if that woman….comes out with him, well………
Kings Never Die by Eminem hits and CJ O’Donnell enters with his confident swagger and in the ring he looks towards the entrance way with a smirk as Fozzy’s Watch Me Shine blasts to the delight of the Equality Faithful. That is until they realise that the spaced out Dylan Thomas is still being hounded by the Children of the Vard and the She-Wolf of the Pack, Lopa. Lopa points to the ring with a confident smile.
Dylan nods and sprints down the aisle sliding into the ring as Scruff rings the bell. CJ O’Donnell looks ready for a fight as ever but Dylan fights through CJ’s strikes and ducks under a Distinguished Plex before lifting him up onto his shoulders. Dylan falls backwards and nails CJ with the Perfect Finisher. Scruff gets into a counting position preemptively expecting Dylan to go for the count, Dylan however runs at the ropes and punts CJ O’Donnell square in the skull!!!!!!!
Lissandra: Ohhhhh!!!!! Dylan covers! 1…..2…..3!!!!!! Dylan is the winner of the first match of the best of three series with CJ.
Lopa walks down to the ring applauding and she beckons Dylan out of the ring, who follows her. Lissandra stands up.
Lissandra: Dylan! B-baby! Wait! It’s Rob’s birthday celebration. Surely you don’t want to miss that…?
Dylan stares back over his shoulder at his wife, still with that spaced out look in his eye. He follows Lopa back up the ramp.
Lissandra: Dylan! I love you!
Dylan pauses and again looks back over his shoulder. A faint glimmer in his eyes at these words suggests that the old A-Lister is there…But before Dylan can react, Lopa puts her arms around his shoulders and she begins to lead him out of the arena. The crowd boo as Equality goes for a break.
======================================================================
After the break, Roxxie Gobbler is standing in the ring looking at the hard cam with the A-List Family surrounding her. In the ring there is a long buffet style table with a large chocolate cake in one of the corners.
Roxxie: Welcome ladies and gents to Lord Allton’s birthday celebration!!!!!!!!! So let’s get the man of the hour out here! Ladies and Gentlemen……….Lord Allton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Devil Inside Me blasts from the speakers and Lord Allton emerges from the curtain in his leg braces much to everyone’s delight. He makes his way to the ring, slapping hands on the way. A few people shout ‘happy birthday Lord Allton’ to which he humbly replies ‘thank-you, merry Christmas to you’.
He climbs into the ring shaking hands and hugging everyone of the A-List Family as Roxxie passes him her microphone.
Lord Allton: Look at all this food! This all looks amazing…
Allton then very cheekily goes over to the chocolate cake, sticks his finger in and tastes that chocolatey goodness as the crowd laughs and giggles.
Lord Allton: Well, as from now….Christmas is five days away and yet, my birthday is 2 days away where your dashingly handsome general manager turns the ripe old age of 36.
Allton shudders.
Allton: This year I have asked everyone of the A-List Family to forgo presents for me and instead we are going to have a birthday celebration the way that we of the wrestling business only know how! Violence!!!!!!!!!
The Equality Faithful cheer.
Allton: So, Mr. Zybala……. If you wouldn’t mind……..
The curtain flies open and a body is sent hurtling through! It’s brother Ichabod of the Children of the Vard! Seconds later Brother Jeremiah is sent through the curtain. The two stand up and look over their shoulders in fear as the jovial Mike Zybala (with a happy birthday Rob t-shirt on) follows them down. At the ring the Children look up and see their predicament. Everyone of the A-List looks down at them menacingly. Allton looks down from the ring with a tilt of his head and a smirk.
Allton: Family!!!! Get them!!!!!
The A-List Family all leap out of the ring, surrounding the Children of the Vard as the Larossia Brothers grab hold of them and the Children cower in fear.
Allton: You kids are in OUR world now. And if your mistress doesn’t give us Dylan back right this very instant, well, it isn’t going to end well for you is it? So blondie…. I know you’re back there still….what do you say?
A few moments go by and nothing happens so Lord Allton nods at Vincenzo who boots Brother Ichabod in the skull. Still nothing. Allton then nods to Frankie who grabs Brother Jeremiah round the neck and proceeds to chokeslam him, onto the concrete. Still nothing. Allton bends down to the Children.
Allton: Well…….your little mistress doesn’t care about you does she, boys? Here’s a merry Christmas from the Birthday Boy as compensation.
The Larossia brothers slide the Children into the ring and Tank grabs hold of them both by the neck. He then shoves the two of them into the cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Allton turns to the camera.
Allton: Happy holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!