Post by zybala on Apr 19, 2023 8:10:03 GMT -5
~ Welcome back to The Yard!! We had Dystopia XXX at the OCW Arena, but we are back home, baby! But something is different! Sure, the fans are drunk already, like always. Yes, The Mariachi Band is rocking out "Nowhere Generation"; the official Outsiders theme song. Eastern European and Emilio are manning the grills, Zybala and Dean are at the refrigerator box, and Belvedere and Mitch are outside of the ring. What is different?! There are TWO rings in The Yard!! They are side by side with the seats at a safe distance around them, but wait! There's more!
Somehow, some way, an open top cage made of meat surrounds the rings! That's right, fuckers! Outsiders made a War Games cage out of meat! How did they do that? Trade secret. Steam rises from the cage as the meat slowly defrosts under the Florida sun. It should stay good for the match though. We also have an ambulance waiting out front just in case someone gets cut open and raw meat juice gets in the open wound. Why didn't we cook the meat before the show? Why don't you mind your own business?! Let's just go over to Zybala and Dean, waiting eagerly for this intro piece to be done with. Can they hear this as you read it? Who knows? Do our writings work like a FREE GUY scenario? If so, we're all going to hell. Anyways, let's start the show!
Dean: What's up, suckas!?! Welcome back to The Yard for Dystopia 31!! The last show was off the hook and we ain't slowing the momentum! I'm Dean and he's Mike Zybala and we have a mutha fucking Meat Cage!!!
Zybala: That's right, Dean! Due to some LEGAL circumstances, we got our hands on a shit ton of meat! We didn't know what to do with it until Alice Knight showed up! She thought she was coming to LADIES NIGHT. Apparently, she forgot that the show already happened.
Dean: She then saw all the meat and asked why we had it. She got the LEGAL story and then asked what we was gonna do with it. We said we didn't know. She then said two magical words. "MEAT GAMES." And that's why gots a meat cage!
Zybala: Then we needed to find who to put in it. Luckily for us, Fanny called us demanding a match against Vicky Stone. She wanted revenge for what happened at Triple X! So we told both ladies to get teams together and now we have WAR GAMES!
Dean: Enough talking, let's get to the action! Belvedere, do you thang, my man!
~ We cut back to the ring to see Belvedere standing on the lawn a good distance away. He doesn't want to get meat juices on his nice suit. Mitch is sitting with the fans. He's not needed until later anyways. Belvedere raises the microphone and we let loose the dogs of war!! ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to The Yard for another Dystopia! And welcome….to War Games!! Presented by Hetap!
~ The Yardies explode with cheers! A few empty Hetap cans go flying through the air. ~
Belvedere: Here are the rules. The match begins with one member of each team entering the cage. After five minutes, a member from one of the teams enters the cage. After three minutes, a member from the other team enters. This continues until all participants are in the ring. Then we start the ELIMINATION process of the match!
~ The fans buzz at this. "Elimination?" Isn't War Games one fall? ~
Belvedere: The match continues until all members of one team have been eliminated! Eliminations occur through pinfall or submission. Leaving the cage does not count as a win or loss. All falls MUST take place in the rings! Now let the War Games begin!!
~ The Yardies cheer at this announcement. They love it. You love it! Nobody ever expected to see this match in The Yard. ~
Belvedere: Introducing first…. Representing Team Stone…..From Theodore, Alabama... weighing in at 232 pounds… he is... "OLD SCHOOL" OLLIE RHULE!!!
~The opening notes of Billy Squire's "The Stroke" echo throughout The Yard as the fans boo. They don't like the threat of being farted on. "Old School" Ollie Rhule runs out of the house and into The Yard. He begins smacking himself in the face repeatedly. A Mariachi Band member ushers him into a very large play-pen area and Ollie hops into it. The music stops and Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And his partner…. Weighing in at 225 pounds….. from Hollywood, California…. He is JOHNNY "MONEY BAGS" BECKMAN!!!
~ "Opiate" by TooL hits the speakers as a limo crashes through the fence and a laughing Beckman emerges from it when it stops. He walks by Zybala and Dean and throws a wad of cash at them before joining a laughing Ollie. Beckman talks to his partner, who nods as he listens. Beckman then goes to fart on a fan and tells them "you're welcome" before rejoining Beckman. The fans boo at this diabolical passing of gas as the music stops, and once more, Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And their team captain.. Hailing from Hollywood California… weighing 125lb…. She is the Outsiders Omega X Champion….. VICKY STONE!!
~ The Yardies boo as "Hollywood" by Madonna hits the speakers and out walks Vicky Stone. The Omega X title is around her waist and she soaks in the boos. She cares not for these people as she flips off the crowd with one hand and raises her title with the other. She joins her team and they start talking strategy as the music stops. Belvedere continues as he looks at a flash card. ~
Belvedere: And their opponents…. Coming out together because "they are better partners than that boyfriend stealing bitch Vicky ever was"..... they are Soot Losem….. one half of the Outsiders Tag Team Champions Max Rotten…. And team captain, Fanny…. They are TEAM FANNY!!!
~ hits the speakers and Fanny, Soot and Max walk out of the house, trying to pump up the fans, who cheer the team. Max holds his tag title in one hand and Betty (the serrated butcher's knife) in the other as Fanny and Soot duck out of the way. The trio make their way to their own oversized play-pen and Max is about to say he'll start but Soot runs to the ring, looking more determined than ever. Max yells as Ollie Rhule runs across the grass, pushes Soot aside and gets in the ring first. Soot brushes grass off of him as he stands and he gets in the ring as well. The door to the meat cage is closed and the match is underway! ~
Zybala: WAR GAMES!!! It's on like Donkey Kong, son!
Dean: Damn right, sucka! The Pokémon trainer is starting for his team and Ollie is for his.
Zybala: Old School versus Anime school. By the way, who won the coin toss?
Dean: I dunno. I thought you did.
Zybala: I guess we'll find out.
~ Soot and Ollie circle each other. They try to steer clear of the meat cage. Mitch watches from the audience. Soot slowly takes off his fanny pack which holds his pokéballs and tosses it over the meat cage. He cracks his knuckles before charging and jumping at Ollie with a yell. Ollie catches the pokéMan and holds him up in the air with a bear hug. Soot rains down slaps and punches on Ollie, though they're more irritating than painful. Ollie squeezes the bear hug tighter and Soot screams in pain as he lands a slap that catches Ollie on the cheek. Ollie looks shocked by the hit but runs Soot into a corner! Soot gasps hard as the air is further driven from his lungs. This doesn't stop him from hitting Ollie the best he can. Some hits land pretty well as we can tell from the painful expressions Ollie makes. Ollie backs out of the corner, pivots a bit to the left, and runs at the meat!
Soot cries out in pain as his back collides with the hard, slowly defrosting meat. Ollie then hits Soot with a belly-to-belly suplex, sending Losem to the mat! Losem hits hard and Ollie gets to his feet. He lays a few kicks into Soot for good measure, trying to keep his advantage. He grabs Soot by the head and drags him up to his feet before sending him back down with an armdrag, and holding onto the arm for an armbar when Soot hits the mat! Soot yells in pain as Ollie wrenches away at the arm and digs his knee into his opponent's back. Fanny tries yelling encouragement as Max looks pissed about not being in the ring. Johnny MONEY BAGS Beckman leaves his playpen and offers her twenty bucks to shut up. Fanny takes the Andrew Jackson and stuffs it in her sports bra. She then politely, but quietly claps for Soot as Johnny walks back to join Vicky. ~
Dean: Wow, just wow. Way to sell out your teammate.
Zybala: Hey, twenty bucks is twenty bucks. As long as Fanny still helps Soot when it counts, it's all groovy.
~ The Yardies can't be bought…. Yet. They continue to cheer and rally behind Soot; a first in his career. His shock actually overrides the pain as he starts to feel the adrenaline pumping. He starts shaking and yelling as he stands up, forcing Ollie up as well, and reverses the arm lock into a wrist lock of his own! Ollie backs into the ropes and Soot holds onto the wrist. Ollie shows his strength advantage as he whips Soot off of him and into the ropes. Soot hits the ropes and bounces back, leaping in the air with a flying clothesline aimed at Ollie. Ollie ducks and Soot lands on his feet, quickly turning around and chops Ollie in the back! Ollie winces in pain as Soot keeps chopping away at his back. Ollie turns around and pushes Soot away as we get a good look at his now red back. Soot chops Ollie's chest and it echoes throughout The Yard. Soot starts hitting rapid fire chops on Ollie, who screams and poses like Sting, which scares Soot!
Ollie then grabs Soot by the head and with a mighty heave, throws Losem front first into the meat cage!!! Soot's face hits particularly hard against a frozen strip steak and the cage holds its integrity! How did Zybala and crew manage this?! Soot bounces off of the meat and we can see some frost cling to his face and chest. Ollie is there behind him as he lifts the Pokémon trainer up and brings him down with an atomic drop which propels Soot into the meat once again! Ollie then grabs Soot and hits him with a German Suplex! Soot lands hard on the back of his neck and shoulders as The Yardies boo Ollie. The boos get loud as Ollie stands over Soot, rolls him onto his back and slowly starts to squat. ~
Zybala: He wouldn't!
Dean: Oh, he would, sucka!
Belvedere: Two minutes until the next contestant!
~ A hush falls over the crowd as Ollie lowers his backside right over the face of Soot. The loud sound of flatulence can be heard by everyone as Ollie facts directly in the face of Soot!! Vicky and Beckman applaude their teammate as Fanny looks appalled at the act. Max looks angry, but more so that he's not fighting in the ring. Ollie laughs before going to Soot's legs and lifting them before stomping hard into Soot's stomach. He then moves his leg slightly to the right before wrapping Losem's legs around his and turns Losem over into a Sharpshooter!! Soot screams in pain as he tries crawling for the ropes, but Ollie leans backward to apply the pressure on his opponent's back. Soot pushes himself off the mat a little in an attempt to alleviate some of the pressure but Ollie really has the hold locked in.
Soot can't bear the pain and starts tapping out! Ollie releases the hols and stands up with his arms raised in victory. Mitch gets out of his chair and walks up to the cage. He gets Ollie's attention and starts to remind him of the rules. Ollie gets a look of remembrance on his face and turns back to see Soot crawling to the ropes. Ollie stalks his opponent and grabs Soot's legs and traps him in a Figure Four leg lock! Mitch goes back to his seat as Soot manages to grab the ropes. He starts yelling at Ollie to let him go, and Ollie looks in Mitch's direction who shakes his head no. Ollie smiles and really yanks on the legs as Soot cries out in pain once more. Belvedere starts to count down from ten. ~
Dean: Next wrestler coming up! Who is it?
Zybala: No clue, but we'll find out soon!
~ Belvedere calls out ONE and a buzzer sounds. ~
Belvedere: Team Fanny won the earlier coin toss, so they get the first member to join.
~ The fans cheer as Max Rotten roars and hops out of the playpen. He runs to the ring with Betty and starts to hack it at the cage door. Mitch just gets up and opens the door for Max. Max leaves the knife in the slowly defrosting meat and enters the ring to a big ovation! He runs over and drops a big elbow on Ollie's chest before untangling his legs from Soot's. Max pulls Ollie to his feet and yells at Old School to punch him! Ollie obliges and connects with a stiff right to Rotten's cheek! Max smiles and gives Ollie a receipt and the two men start exchanging blows! Max laughs as he is finally getting to fucking fight someone. Neither man is budging an inch as the trade lefts, rights, and chest chops. It's big men hitting man meat and the Yardies are eating it up!
During all of this, Soot has managed to drag himself into a corner and sits there, trying to recover. He just watches Rhule and Rotten duke it out in the ring while trying to massage some pain out of his legs. Rhule decks Max with a stiff right that staggers the lost Rotten brother. Ollie hits the ropes and charges at Max, but Max counters as he lifts Max up in the air. Rotten goes for a pop-up Rotten Bomb, but Ollie manages to push away from Rotten mid-air! Ollie lands on his feet and quickly boots Rotten in the midsection! Rotten doubles over and Ollie cinches his head and tries to hit a D.D.T., but Soot jumps on Ollie's back and locks in a sleeper hold!
Rhule releases Max as he tries to shake Soot off. Ollie is whipping his body around like a dog with fleas but he can't shake Losem loose. Ollie tries reaching behind himself but gets met with a flurry of body blows from Max. He then tries to fight Max but then Soot cinches in the sleeper! Ollie is slowly fading and tries to back away from Rotten, only to back himself into a corner. Soot releases the sleeper and sits on the top turnbuckle as Max runs in, crushing Ollie with a splash! Max hits a snapmare that brings Ollie out of the corner and sprawled out on the mat. Max yells at Soot to do something. Soot stands up on the turnbuckle, using the meat to balance himself. He yells "shooting star!" before leaping into the air. Soot tries to perform the move but can only rotate half-way and crashes back first on Ollie. The fans still cheer the attempt! ~
Belvedere: One minute until the next contestant!
Dean: Did that time go by a little fast to you?
Zybala: It's Meat Games, baby! The action is gonna go hard and fast. Of course time is gonna fly by.
Dean: True dat, sucka! Even Soot is doing better than usual.
~ Soot stands up throwing his arms around excited that he didn't break his neck. Max grabs him and starts talking strategy before the two descend on Ollie. They drag him up and over to the middle of the two rings. They set Ollie up for a double suplex and lift Old School up. They bring him down on the top ropes of both rings and leave him hanging as they both start clubbing him with forearms. Belvedere starts a countdown from ten. Johnny MONEY BAGS Beckman leaves the pen and grabs a nearby lawn rake. He waits until the buzzer and rushes to the ring. Mitch opens the door and Ollie is in the ring!!
He goes to Soot first, using the plastic rake head to literally rake Losem's back! Boos fill The Yard as Soot cries out in pain as Beckman turns the rake on Max. But instead of raking him, MONEY BAGS hits Rotten with the wooden handle over and over. Arms, back, head, nothing is off limits to Beckman as he assaults Rotten. Max tries to turn to defend himself but Johnny hits him right across the head! The rake breaks in half as Zybala yells out a protest, but Beckman ignores him.
Max is now bleeding from where the rake broke across his forehead. Beckman gets behind him and uses the broken handle to start choking out Max! The fans boo as Rotten slowly starts to fade, the blood dripping down his face, Beckman lets him fall to the mat before turning his attention back to Soot. He kicks Soot right in the pokéballs! Beckman then hooks Soot up for a suplex and lifts him. He holds Soot up for a few seconds before hitting him with The Money Drop! The Yardies boo, but a few still yell "BRAIN BUSTA!!!" With both opponent's down, Beckman goes to help Ollie off of the ropes. ~
Zybala: I seriously need to lock up my shit before these shows….
Dean: Why? They add to the fun, sucka. We finally got some color! And I don't mean me.
Zybala: Now if I said that, people would be trying to cancel me. But I know better.
Dean: And that why I don't tell you to check your privilege.
~ After Johnny helps Ollie down, and he clears the cobwebs, they start stomping away on their opponents. Vicky shouts across The Yard at Fanny that Team Fanny sucks. Fanny tries to leave her playpen to go after Vicky but The Mariachi Band and Head of (and only) Security Lucas Thames, stop her. Fanny pouts as her team is getting whomped. She then leaves the pen, but heads into the garage. Zybala yells to leave his shit alone, but Dean holds him down. They continue their play-by-play which we only hear part of. Why is that? It's like the writers of every match in e-fedding don't want to get the detailed. And there's your one 4th wall break per show, ROB!!
Anyways, Ollie and Beckman have lifted Soot up for a double powerbomb as they both run at the ropes! They throw Soot over the ropes, sending him crashing hard to the mat of the other ring! That leaves a bloody Rotten all by himself. Max is slowly crawling towards the ropes but is stopped by Team Vicky. Being the good guys they are, they actually help Rotten to his feet. Johnny pulls a hundred dollar bill out from his pocket. Yes, his wrestling trunks have pockets. He's THAT rich. Be jealous, ladies. He then uses the bill to wipe the blood from Max's head, asking if he is okay. Rotten starts to answer, but Beckman cuts him off by shoving the bloody hundred in his mouth, telling him that he doesn't care!
As Belvedere calls out ONE MINUTE REMAINING, Rhule and Beckman throw Rotten over the ropes and into the Meat Cage wall! Ollie backs away as Max pulls himself to his feet, and runs forward with a dropkick, driving Max into the frozen meat! How is it still cold?! Do the laws of nature not apply in The Yard?! Regardless, Max hits the meat hard and falls forward on the top rope, which holds him up. Johnny grabs Rotten by the head and slams it back into a particularly thick T-Bone steak. Beckman pulls Max forward and slams his head back once more! Max's head hits the cage so hard that the T-Bone gets knocked loose from the structure! It lands on the lap of one lucky fan, who immediately brings it over to Emilio and starts cooking the steak on the grill. The integrity of the cage is still intact. ~
Belvedere: Five…. Four….. Three…… Two….
ONE!
~ The buzzer goes off once again and Fanny exits the garage holding a bunch of light tubes and dragging a large black plastic bag behind her. She asks The Mariachi Band members for help and they agree to carry some folding chairs from the garage as Mitch opens the cage door. Fanny drops the bag at ringside as she carefully places the light tubes on the ring mat. ~
Dean: Why ain't you complaining about her taking your shit?
Zybala: Those light tubes are dead. I just forgot to toss those out on garbage day. And I'm not spoiling what's in the bag.
Dean: Is it my ex wife's head?
Zybala: Jesus Christ, John Doe! No!!
Dean: WHAT'S IN THE BAG?!?!
~ Fanny picks up one light tube for each hand and goes over to hit Ollie and Beckman with the tubes! Glass and dust go everywhere on contact! Beckman covers his face with his hands to protect his eyes from the dust as Rhule starts hacking. The Band has come to ring side with chairs and Fanny grabs one. She lays out Ollie with a hard chair shot to the head and gives one to Johnny for good measure! With both foes out on the mat, Fanny leaves the cage, grabs the bag and brings it back in. Those watching the announce table see Zybala smiling wickedly.
Fanny sees Soot getting back to his feet and she calls him over. She gives Soot some instructions and the pair start taking off Rhule's and Beckman's tops of their attire, if applicable. Their bios were very vague on the ring gear. Anyways, the duo are topless and Fanny grabs the bag once more. She holds it over MONEY BAGS and Old School and empties the contents. It's leafy, it's green, it's fucking crabgrass!!! The prickly weeds get dumped all over the two Team Vicky members and Fanny and Soot start to stomp the plants into the flesh of their opponents! Zybala and the fans cheer the use of this traditional Yard weapon. After a thorough beat down, Fanny and Soot go to check on Max, who is slowly coming to his senses. They help him into the ring and he surveys the carnage. He looks pissed that he missed some "fun." NOT for long though….
He runs over and grabs a light tube off of the mat and walks over to Beckman. Max places the tube over the crabgrass and steps on it. He grinds the glass and the prickly weed into the flesh of Beckman who cries out in pain. Max then grabs a shard and starts to slowly cut Beckman across the forehead with sadistic delight. Fanny and Soot cringe a little as blood trickles from the cut. The Yardies cheer though, blood thirsty drunks that they are. Max then moves to Ollie and repeats the process to more cheers. Max stands and offers the tube shard to his partners, saying everyone should bleed. They politely decline and Max shrugs. He then turns his attention back to Ollie and lifts him up to his feet. He scoops Ollie up for a Rotten Slam (World's Strongest Slam). He holds Ollie up as he looks down on the mat before driving him down on the glass and crabgrass mixture on the mat! He shoots the leg and makes the cover! Soot then reminds him of the rules. ~
Zybala: Max got caught up in the moment there.
Dean: Sucka wants to win. Can't blame him for trying.
Zybala: He just has to wait until Vicky gets in the ring.
Belvedere: ONE MINUTE REMAINING.
Zybala: Convenient.
Dean: Ain't it?
~ As Ollie is getting the brunt of the damage, Beckman starts crawling away to the other ring. He grabs the broken rake handle as he slinks under the ropes and makes it to the much cleaner ring. No glass or crabgrass there. Johnny scooches over to a far corner and sits while staring at everyone. Fanny turns away from Ollie and notices that Beckman is gone! She looks around the meat confines and spots him in the other ring. She points this out to Soot, who tells her that he's got this. He then walks to the ropes and tries to show off. He grabs the top rope and tries to hop on it. He actually manages to stick the landing and tries to hop over to the second ring's ropes…. Key word being try.
His right foot slips as he leaps and he over steps trying to correct his footing. Soot crotches himself on the top rope before falling on the metal plank between the ring. The male audience collectively groans. Max smacks his forehead in disgust as Fanny shakes her head. The pair then go into the other ring, ignoring Soot, and advance on Beckman. MONEY BAGS starts swinging the rake handle defensively to keep his foes back. Fanny tries to advance but gets whacked hard in the side of the ribs! Fanny grabs her ribs and backs away as Max tries to grab the handle away. The two men briefly play a game of Tug-of-war, but as Rotten pulls, Beckman releases his end. This causes Rotten to stumble backwards and Beckman tackles him to the mat! He mounts Max and starts raining down punches as Belvedere counts down from ten, The fans count all the way to zero, and they make a loud buzzer noise as the real buzzer sounds.
Vicky Stone hops out of the playpen and runs towards the cage as the fans boo her. She doesn't even bother with the door as she runs to the side where Beckman is. She starts climbing the meat cage all the way to the top. Vicky stands and balances herself while Fanny stares up at her. Vicky leaps with a huge cross-body and hits Fanny hard. Both women fall to the mat as Vicky starts hitting Fanny much like Beckman is hitting Max as Mitch opens the door and steps into the ring. ~
Belvedere: All contestants are now in the ring. LET THE WAR GAMES BEGIN!!
~ The Yardies cheer at this briefly before returning to boo Stone and Beckman as they continue to hit Fanny and Rotten respectively. ~
Dean: Everyone is in, sucka! Eliminations can happen!
Zybala: And surprisingly, the cage is still holding up. Duct tape truly is magical.
Dean: Damn straight. Told ya it was gonna work.
~ Soot gets to his feet and steps between the ropes as he makes his way to Vicky. He balls up a fist and punches her right in the back of the head! Vicky is stunned as she rolls off of Fanny, holding the back of her head. She looks up at Soot, who starts yelling about payback. Vicky tries to get up but Soot pushes her back down and tries to kick at her, but Stone rolls away. Soot keeps stomping and kicking but Fanny keeps rolling until she rolls under the ropes next to the cage. She stands up and Soot roars a battle cry before charging right at her. Soot leaps in the air, but Vicky ducks at the last second. Soot hits the meat hard before staggering back and spinning around.
Beckman has been watching this go down as he punches Rotten. MONEY BAGS stands up as Soot hits the cage. Johnny drops to his knees and hits an uppercut between Losem's legs! As Soot bends over to hold his crotch, Beckman completes the Bank Roll combo as he wraps Soot in a small package. Mitch comes running from the other ring, but before he can count, Rotten pushes Beckman off of Soot. Rotten is about to attack Beckman when a bloody Ollie cuts him off from out of nowhere! The respective muscle for their teams start to brawl as the ring gets crowded with all six competitors and the ref. Ollie and Rotten keep aiming their punches at each other's foreheads, trying to widen the lacerations and spill more blood. Vicky and Fanny start scraping as Soot tries to run away to the other ring with Beckman hot on his heels!
Being much smaller, Soot steps through the ropes easier than MONEY BAGS and enters the other ring. Glass and crabgrass still are littering parts of the mat, but Soot rubs to grab the chair Fanny brought in. As Beckman steps in the ring, Soot hits him in the back with the chair! Beckman arches his back in pain, and stumbles forward. Soot gets in position and waits for Beckman to turn around. When he does, Soot swings hard! Beckman dodges and grabs at the chair. He yanks hard and pulls it from Soot's grasp. Soot backs up a step and leaps to dropkick the chair into Beckman! But it's Soot we're talking about. He manages to get as high as Beckman's hip, which does hurt, but MONEY BAGS still holds onto the chair. As Soot gets up, he gets a chair to the head to send him back down. Beckman yells for Mitch, who turns from the action in the other ring to answer the call. Beckman drops the chair and makes the pin as Mitch gets in the ring. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two…..
No!!
~ Soot kicks out before three count, shocking the crowd. They start cheering for the Pokémon trainer to rally as Beckman gets up and grabs Soot's legs. He wraps his arms in the legs before flipping Soot onto his stomach to lock in The Rich Man's Burden!! Losem starts screaming as the clover leaf is causing a lot of pain. Back in the other ring, Fanny has just booted Vicky in the stomach and goes for a Stunner to add insult to injury. As Fanny grabs Vicky's head, Stone pushes Fanny away, which allows Fanny to see her teammate in peril. She rushes to one of the top turnbuckles and leaps off with a missile dropkick that hits Beckman right in the chest!! MONEY BAGS falls backwards, wrenching on Soot's legs before falling back. As Beckman falls back, the back of his head hits the back of Soot's! Beckman rolls off of Soot with both men holding their heads.
Fanny checks to see if Soot is okay. Vicky steps into the ring and drags Fanny to her feet by the hair! Fanny screams as Vicky drags her to a corner and starts hitting her. Vicky climbs to the second rope and starts raining down punch after punch on Fanny; the fans booing instead of counting. Soot runs over and hits Vicky on the back. Soot keeps jumping and hitting Vicky in the back as Fanny slides out of the corner. Vicky drops to her feet and Soot spins her to face him. Fanny and him then lift Vicky up to sit on the top turnbuckle. The duo climb to the second rope and set Vicky up for a double suplex. The Yardies start to buzz with excitement as a recovered Beckman and Ollie Rhule get behind Soot and Fanny, trying to set them up for powerbombs! Max then runs in and kicks Rhule in between the legs!
Ollie drops to his knees in pain as Max grabs Beckman and tosses him aside. He then pulls Soot and Fanny off the ropes, yelling that Towers of Doom are dumb and over played. The Yardies boo Rotten as he says this. Rotten then grabs Vicky, bends her forward and lifts her up for a Muscle Buster! He walks to the middle of the ring and drops right on his ass, hitting the more brutal version of the move! Rotten releases his grip and Vicky crumbles to the mat. Max is about to go for the pin when Beckman hits him from behind, pushing Rotten off of his captain. Soot quickly jumps on MONEY BAGS' back, and locks in a camel clutch PokéLock! Soot yells for Johnny to tap, but Beckman muscles himself to stand up and falls backwards, crushing Soot! As Beckman starts to get up, Fanny runs at him with a Shining Wizard!
Beckman ducks at the last second and Fanny flies over him, skidding across the crabgrass and glass on the mat. Seeing his enemy distracted, Max grabs Beckman and throws him into the ropes. On the bounce back, Beckman stops right before Max and gives him the same treatment Rotten gave Ollie. Rotten falls to the mat as Beckman surveys the carnage around him. Beckman grabs Rhule, helps him up, and they head over to Soot. Both men lift Losem up for a double powerbomb, each bearing the weight on one shoulder. Instead of simply dropping Soot, they run at the opposite ropes. At the very last second, Rhule and MONEY BAGS throw Soot into the meat as hard as they can!! Soot hits the meat so hard that he goes THROUGH the cage!!
Different cuts of meat fly everywhere as Losem's body breaks this part of the cage as he crashes hard onto the grass below! The fans start a loud "HOLY SHIT!" chant as Soot lays on the grass, surrounded by meats. Some fans grab the choicest cuts and bring them to the grills. ~
Dean: Oh fuck!! Soot is out of the match, sucka!! It's now a three on two!!
Zybala: Jesus Christ! Out of the match, nothing! He may be out of LIFE! That damn well may have killed him!
Dean: Team Vicky looks damn pleased with themselves.
~ Ollie and Beckman fist bump before turning back to their other opponents. Fanny has pinned a down Vicky, but Mitch only makes it to one before MONEY Rhules (You're fucking welcome!) pulls Fanny off. Ollie grabs Fanny's feet and Beckman grabs her legs. They lift her up and start swinging her back and forth to build momentum. After a count of three, they hurl Fanny over the ropes and into the meat! Thawing blood splatters everywhere on contact as Fanny hits the meat and slumps to the mat. Ollie tends to Vicky as Beckman goes to drag Fanny under the ropes, but Fanny has her arm through the cage and is holding on to a big slab of brisket. MONEY BAGS pulls hard, but Fanny now has both arms around the meat. Beckman shouts at Rhule to help, which he does after sitting Vicky up in a corner.
Both men grab Fanny's feet and pull as Fanny holds on for dear life! After much pulling and screaming, Fanny is yanked into the ring! Ollie goes to roll her over and is met with a brisket to the head! The fans cheer as Ollie staggers back with a face full of meat juice! Beckman stares in shock as Fanny swings the brisket at him but he ducks. He quickly gets behind her and locks in a Million Dollar Dream! Fanny is flailing around, trying to get free as she holds onto the brisket with one hand. The juices slide down her arm as Johnny shakes her around like a dog with a chew toy. Max starts to get up and sees his partner in peril. He sneaks behind Beckman and uppercut him between the legs, returning the "favor."
MONEY BAGS releases Fanny so he can hold on to his coin purse. He drops to his knees and Fanny smacks him in the head with the brisket. Beckman drops to the mat and Fanny throws the brisket aside to make the cover. She hooks Johnny's leg and Mitch gets in position, now wearing thick work gloves so as to not cut himself. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
Thre…..
~ Vicky jumps at Fanny at the last possible moment and breaks up the pin. Fans boo this. Max grabs a handful of Vicky's hair and pulls her up to her feet. He starts talking shit until she pokes him in the eyes. Blinded, Rotten instinctively covers his eyes in pain and Vicky hits him with a lightning fast Stunner!! Rotten drops to the mat laid out! Fanny steps in front of Vicky and kicks her in between the legs! The fans cheer at this equal opportunity crotch attack as Fanny then grabs Vicky's head with both hands and drives her face first into a crabgrass pile with The Fan-DUMB face buster!! Fanny rolls Vicky to her back and makes the cover! ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREENOOOOO!!!
Dean: How the fuck she kick out of dat?!?!
Zybala: No clue, Dean-o. Instinct? Having more in the tank? The thought of The Wizard? Nobody knows.
Dean: I know one thing. Meat Games is off the hook! Pun intended, sucka!!
~ Fanny cries out in frustration and tries to cover Vicky again, hooking her legs this time. ~
Mitch: One…….
Two……
~ Another kick out! Fanny gets on her knees, grabs Vicky's hair and starts slamming it into the mat over and over. Ollie comes up behind her and forces Fanny away from Vicky. ~
Ollie: Get away from her, you BITCH!
~ This quote gets a cheap pop from the crowd as Ollie. Ollie pulls Fanny to her feet and hits her with a hard European Uppercut which causes the Eastern European to cheer loudly from the grills. Fanny spins on her feet and Ollie grabs her head and pulls it under his arm backwards. He drops Fanny with a reverse D.D.T (Rhule #3!) and slowly makes the cover. Mitch gets in position to make the count. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
Thre…..
~ Out of nowhere, Soot Losem leaps from the top of the meat cage onto Ollie's back with a huge frog splash, breaking up the pin!! Another Holy Shit chant fills The Yard as Soot tries to roll Ollie off of a crushed Fanny. Hey, she was under Ollie when he got hit. Of course she would be hurting too. Beckman grabs Soot before he pins Ollie and lifts him up for a suplex. Beckman then spikes Soot's head in the mat with another The Money Drop! Beckman hooks the leg and grabs a handful of trunks as he makes the pin. The fans boo and try to tell Mitch of the blatant cheating. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!!
Belvedere: Soot Losem has been eliminated!
Dean: MONEY BAGS making use of there being no rules, sucka. And now Team Fanny is down a member.
Zybala: It's gonna be hard to come back from that.
Dean: But Max has an equalizer with him!!
~ In the chaos, Rotten has gotten himself a chair! He slams it hard onto Beckman's back over and over until he's out of breath. Panting, Rotten throws the chair on top of Beckman and turns his attention to Ollie. After Rotten nails a few well placed kicks to the head of Rhule, he wanders off to the cage door. He finds a few unbroken light tubes that Fanny didn't use earlier and grabs them. He then places the tubes on top of Ollie before climbing to the top of the nearest turnbuckle. With as much grace as has, Rotten leaps off the top rope with a Swanton Bomb!! Glass explodes everywhere as Rotten crashes on top of Ollie! Blood starts trickling down the exposed flesh of Max's arms as he stretches an arm out to grab Ollie's leg for a pin. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!!
Belvedere: Ollie Rhule has been eliminated!
~ Max yells out a cheer as he slowly gets off of Ollie. Rotten holds a hand on his back as he makes his way over to a slowly moving Beckman. He picks up the rich man and puts his head between his legs. Rotten bends over and wraps his arms around Beckman and lifts him up for a Rotten Bomb. As Rotten drops Johnny, Vicky Stone slams a chair into Max's back! Beckman hits the mat hard as Rotten cries out in pain as he staggers forward. Vicky swings the chair again and hits Rotten's back again! He stumbles into the ropes, using them to hold himself up. Though that may be a bad thing. Vicky walks him across the back for a third time with the chair! As she winds up for a third time, she hears Mitch yell ONE! She turns around to see, across the ring, a barely conscious Fanny with an arm across Beckman's chest. TWO!! Vicky panics and does the only thing she thinks of. THRE….
Vicky throws the chair across the ring and her aim is true! The chair hits Mitch on the back, stopping his count. Vicky quickly falls to the mat to play possum as Mitch turns around to see Rotten leaning across the top ropes with his back to him, and Vicky down on the mat. Not sure what to make of it, he turns back to Fanny and Beckman and starts his count over. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREENOOOOOOOO!!!!
~ Vicky rushes over and breaks up the pin just as Beckman gets a shoulder up before Mitch hits the mat a third time. Vicky beats down on a barely conscious Fanny, yelling that Wizzy will never love her! Beckman rolls on to his hands and knees and tries to crawl out of the glass covered ring, but someone grabs his leg. It's Soot Losem! Despite being eliminated, he has only just regained consciousness. Beckman starts kicking at Soot to try and shake him loose, but the trainer has a good grip on his boot. Mitch sees this and tells Soot that he has been eliminated. Losem tries to argue but the ref is adamant and starts to lead Soot out of the cage. That's when Mitch sees Ollie.
Mitch tries to wake Ollie up, but Rhule casually pushes Mitch away, muttering something about 5 more minutes. Ollie rolls over and curls up. Soot looks at Mitch and tells him he has an idea. Soot rolls Ollie on to his back and covers. He tells Mitch to count, which the confused ref does. At two, Rhule kicks out, pushes Soot off of him and gets to his feet! He looks ready to fight but Mitch explains to him that he too has been eliminated. Disgruntled, Ollie goes to the cage door and pulls out Betty! Mitch starts yelling at Zybala to do something, but Ollie merely takes the knife and hacks off a nice cut of steak off of the cage. He throws the knife in the grass and brings the meat to the grill. ~
Dean: This match is getting weird. Like, weirder than da usual Yard weirdness.
Zybala: Dude, we have a cage made of meat…. I think calling things "weird" is the normal for Outsiders.
Dean: Yeah, at least the cage is still holding. And each team has two suckas left.
~ Max staggers a bit as he pushes himself off the ropes and pushes Vicky off of Fanny. He tries to pick her up, but throws her to the side when he sees Beckman in the other ring. Letting his need for a fight guide him, Max goes to who he thinks is the bigger challenge. Rotten gets in the ring as Beckman stands there waiting for him. The two men lock eyes and no words are needed. Both are bloody, battered and beaten. They know only one can win. They walk towards each other, ready to fight. Beckman isn't honorable though and kicks right at Max's nether regions, but Rotten blocks the kick. He doesn't want to get hit in the bean bag again. Max is about to attack Beckman when Vicky comes from behind and hits the most devastating move in ALL of wrestling; The Surprise Roll-Up! Rotten's shoulders hit the mat and Beckman lays on top of Vicky to help with the pin! ~
Mitch: One…….
Two……..
~ Fanny comes outta nowhere to break up the pin. She dives into Beckman and knocks him off. It seems to have taken her last bit of energy as Fanny collapses to the mat. Rotten kicks Vicky away and quickly gets to his feet. He runs at Beckman and lifts him up for a powerbomb and drives him hard right into the cage! He holds onto MONEY BAGS and turns back to the ring and hits a sit-out Rotten Bombs in the middle of the ring! Max moves his legs to cover Johnny's shoulders to make the pin. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!
Belvedere: Johnny Beckman has been eliminated!!
~ The fans cheer as Beckman loses. Max stands up and starts dragging him out of the way. Vicky picks up the earlier discarded rake handle and smacks Rotten in the back of the head! He staggers but doesn't fall. He turns to face Vicky and gets hit with the handle again. Rotten is woozy and Vicky hits him one more time! Rotten still doesn't fall and Vicky jabs him in the stomach, doubling him over and she hits him with The Stunner! Rotten falls to the mat and Vicky covers him. Mitch gets in position and starts to count! ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!
Belvedere: Max Rotten has been eliminated!!
Zybala: Two eliminations in quick succession! Beckman and Rotten are out of the match!
Dean: That leaves only the ladies left. Who will win? Who might win Wizzy's heart?
~ Vicky gets off of Max and looks around for Fanny, who is pulling herself up in a corner. Vicky charges in and leaps with a shotgun dropkick, driving her feet into Fanny's chest and sending her crashing hard into the turnbuckles. Fanny slumps on her butt down on the mat, leaning back against the bottom turnbuckle. Vicky backs away and charges back in with another dropkick to the chest. Fanny is struggling to breath when Vicky runs back in with a side hip attack that snaps Fanny's head back! Fanny slinks down to the mat and rolls under the ropes next to the cage.
Vicky seems poised for attack. She yells at Fanny to get up, maybe looking to ram her into the cage. A weirdly familiar fan dressed in large sunglasses and a baseball hat runs up to the ring and starts to encourage Fanny. He reaches through the meat to hold her hands before Head of Security Lucas Thames rushes over and drags the man away. Fanny holds her arms tight across her chest, still hurting from the dropkicks. Leaning against the cage, meat blood dripping down her back, Fanny slowly makes her way back to her feet. Vicky charges in with another dropkick but Fanny slides to the left to avoid the attack. Vicky's feet hit the cage, knocking some cuts of meat loose and sending to the grass. Vicky gets caught in the ropes as she misses and falls on her back with her feet on the ropes!
The Yardies cheer for Fanny to try and rally against Vicky. Fanny steps back through the rope into the ring as Stone gets to her feet. Vicky starts spinning around trying to find Fanny, who stops hugging herself to reveal something the size of a softball in her hand! Vicky finally sees Fanny who lifts her hand high and smacks Vicky with the object hard! Vicky drops like a ton of bricks as the fans are at a fever pitch. They are cheering for Fanny to pin her as Fanny falls on top of her, not having enough strength to hook a leg. Mitch dives in position and the fans start to count with him. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!
~ Mitch calls for the bell as The Faithful explode with cheers. Fanny rolls off of Vicky with tears in her eyes as she thrusts her fist up in the air. We finally see what she's holding, which causes some fans to cheer louder. ~
Dean: That's a fucking turnip!!! That sucka gave her a turnip!
Zybala: I don't know who that guy was. I know who he kinda looked like, but Lucas has kicked him out of The Yard so we can't ask.
Dean: Whoever it was clearly chose Fanny over Vicky! Fucking turnip for the win!
Belvedere: Here are your winners…. TEAM FANNY!!
~ Soot and Max rush back into the ring, and run over to Fanny. They pick her up and the trio celebrate together. Fanny is crying, Soot is looking at her with the last in his eyes, Max gives Vicky a kick while she's down. Nobody messes with HIS Gilly except him! ~
Dean: What a match! Good thing that meat truck crashed in front of the house so we can build this cage.
Zybala: Yes….. crashed….. by total accident…
Dean: Z….. what did you do?
Zybala: Well, for Dean, I'm Mike Zybala saying Good Fight, Good Night. Alright everyone! You can keep what you rip off the cage!!
~ This causes the entire Yard to devolve into chaos. The Yardies rush out of their seats and start attacking the cage, trying to get free meat. Max grabs Betty and tries to hack away the best choice cuts. Zybala sneaks away from Dean's questioning as the scene fades to black. ~
Somehow, some way, an open top cage made of meat surrounds the rings! That's right, fuckers! Outsiders made a War Games cage out of meat! How did they do that? Trade secret. Steam rises from the cage as the meat slowly defrosts under the Florida sun. It should stay good for the match though. We also have an ambulance waiting out front just in case someone gets cut open and raw meat juice gets in the open wound. Why didn't we cook the meat before the show? Why don't you mind your own business?! Let's just go over to Zybala and Dean, waiting eagerly for this intro piece to be done with. Can they hear this as you read it? Who knows? Do our writings work like a FREE GUY scenario? If so, we're all going to hell. Anyways, let's start the show!
Dean: What's up, suckas!?! Welcome back to The Yard for Dystopia 31!! The last show was off the hook and we ain't slowing the momentum! I'm Dean and he's Mike Zybala and we have a mutha fucking Meat Cage!!!
Zybala: That's right, Dean! Due to some LEGAL circumstances, we got our hands on a shit ton of meat! We didn't know what to do with it until Alice Knight showed up! She thought she was coming to LADIES NIGHT. Apparently, she forgot that the show already happened.
Dean: She then saw all the meat and asked why we had it. She got the LEGAL story and then asked what we was gonna do with it. We said we didn't know. She then said two magical words. "MEAT GAMES." And that's why gots a meat cage!
Zybala: Then we needed to find who to put in it. Luckily for us, Fanny called us demanding a match against Vicky Stone. She wanted revenge for what happened at Triple X! So we told both ladies to get teams together and now we have WAR GAMES!
Dean: Enough talking, let's get to the action! Belvedere, do you thang, my man!
~ We cut back to the ring to see Belvedere standing on the lawn a good distance away. He doesn't want to get meat juices on his nice suit. Mitch is sitting with the fans. He's not needed until later anyways. Belvedere raises the microphone and we let loose the dogs of war!! ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to The Yard for another Dystopia! And welcome….to War Games!! Presented by Hetap!
~ The Yardies explode with cheers! A few empty Hetap cans go flying through the air. ~
Belvedere: Here are the rules. The match begins with one member of each team entering the cage. After five minutes, a member from one of the teams enters the cage. After three minutes, a member from the other team enters. This continues until all participants are in the ring. Then we start the ELIMINATION process of the match!
~ The fans buzz at this. "Elimination?" Isn't War Games one fall? ~
Belvedere: The match continues until all members of one team have been eliminated! Eliminations occur through pinfall or submission. Leaving the cage does not count as a win or loss. All falls MUST take place in the rings! Now let the War Games begin!!
~ The Yardies cheer at this announcement. They love it. You love it! Nobody ever expected to see this match in The Yard. ~
Belvedere: Introducing first…. Representing Team Stone…..From Theodore, Alabama... weighing in at 232 pounds… he is... "OLD SCHOOL" OLLIE RHULE!!!
~The opening notes of Billy Squire's "The Stroke" echo throughout The Yard as the fans boo. They don't like the threat of being farted on. "Old School" Ollie Rhule runs out of the house and into The Yard. He begins smacking himself in the face repeatedly. A Mariachi Band member ushers him into a very large play-pen area and Ollie hops into it. The music stops and Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And his partner…. Weighing in at 225 pounds….. from Hollywood, California…. He is JOHNNY "MONEY BAGS" BECKMAN!!!
~ "Opiate" by TooL hits the speakers as a limo crashes through the fence and a laughing Beckman emerges from it when it stops. He walks by Zybala and Dean and throws a wad of cash at them before joining a laughing Ollie. Beckman talks to his partner, who nods as he listens. Beckman then goes to fart on a fan and tells them "you're welcome" before rejoining Beckman. The fans boo at this diabolical passing of gas as the music stops, and once more, Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And their team captain.. Hailing from Hollywood California… weighing 125lb…. She is the Outsiders Omega X Champion….. VICKY STONE!!
~ The Yardies boo as "Hollywood" by Madonna hits the speakers and out walks Vicky Stone. The Omega X title is around her waist and she soaks in the boos. She cares not for these people as she flips off the crowd with one hand and raises her title with the other. She joins her team and they start talking strategy as the music stops. Belvedere continues as he looks at a flash card. ~
Belvedere: And their opponents…. Coming out together because "they are better partners than that boyfriend stealing bitch Vicky ever was"..... they are Soot Losem….. one half of the Outsiders Tag Team Champions Max Rotten…. And team captain, Fanny…. They are TEAM FANNY!!!
~ hits the speakers and Fanny, Soot and Max walk out of the house, trying to pump up the fans, who cheer the team. Max holds his tag title in one hand and Betty (the serrated butcher's knife) in the other as Fanny and Soot duck out of the way. The trio make their way to their own oversized play-pen and Max is about to say he'll start but Soot runs to the ring, looking more determined than ever. Max yells as Ollie Rhule runs across the grass, pushes Soot aside and gets in the ring first. Soot brushes grass off of him as he stands and he gets in the ring as well. The door to the meat cage is closed and the match is underway! ~
Zybala: WAR GAMES!!! It's on like Donkey Kong, son!
Dean: Damn right, sucka! The Pokémon trainer is starting for his team and Ollie is for his.
Zybala: Old School versus Anime school. By the way, who won the coin toss?
Dean: I dunno. I thought you did.
Zybala: I guess we'll find out.
~ Soot and Ollie circle each other. They try to steer clear of the meat cage. Mitch watches from the audience. Soot slowly takes off his fanny pack which holds his pokéballs and tosses it over the meat cage. He cracks his knuckles before charging and jumping at Ollie with a yell. Ollie catches the pokéMan and holds him up in the air with a bear hug. Soot rains down slaps and punches on Ollie, though they're more irritating than painful. Ollie squeezes the bear hug tighter and Soot screams in pain as he lands a slap that catches Ollie on the cheek. Ollie looks shocked by the hit but runs Soot into a corner! Soot gasps hard as the air is further driven from his lungs. This doesn't stop him from hitting Ollie the best he can. Some hits land pretty well as we can tell from the painful expressions Ollie makes. Ollie backs out of the corner, pivots a bit to the left, and runs at the meat!
Soot cries out in pain as his back collides with the hard, slowly defrosting meat. Ollie then hits Soot with a belly-to-belly suplex, sending Losem to the mat! Losem hits hard and Ollie gets to his feet. He lays a few kicks into Soot for good measure, trying to keep his advantage. He grabs Soot by the head and drags him up to his feet before sending him back down with an armdrag, and holding onto the arm for an armbar when Soot hits the mat! Soot yells in pain as Ollie wrenches away at the arm and digs his knee into his opponent's back. Fanny tries yelling encouragement as Max looks pissed about not being in the ring. Johnny MONEY BAGS Beckman leaves his playpen and offers her twenty bucks to shut up. Fanny takes the Andrew Jackson and stuffs it in her sports bra. She then politely, but quietly claps for Soot as Johnny walks back to join Vicky. ~
Dean: Wow, just wow. Way to sell out your teammate.
Zybala: Hey, twenty bucks is twenty bucks. As long as Fanny still helps Soot when it counts, it's all groovy.
~ The Yardies can't be bought…. Yet. They continue to cheer and rally behind Soot; a first in his career. His shock actually overrides the pain as he starts to feel the adrenaline pumping. He starts shaking and yelling as he stands up, forcing Ollie up as well, and reverses the arm lock into a wrist lock of his own! Ollie backs into the ropes and Soot holds onto the wrist. Ollie shows his strength advantage as he whips Soot off of him and into the ropes. Soot hits the ropes and bounces back, leaping in the air with a flying clothesline aimed at Ollie. Ollie ducks and Soot lands on his feet, quickly turning around and chops Ollie in the back! Ollie winces in pain as Soot keeps chopping away at his back. Ollie turns around and pushes Soot away as we get a good look at his now red back. Soot chops Ollie's chest and it echoes throughout The Yard. Soot starts hitting rapid fire chops on Ollie, who screams and poses like Sting, which scares Soot!
Ollie then grabs Soot by the head and with a mighty heave, throws Losem front first into the meat cage!!! Soot's face hits particularly hard against a frozen strip steak and the cage holds its integrity! How did Zybala and crew manage this?! Soot bounces off of the meat and we can see some frost cling to his face and chest. Ollie is there behind him as he lifts the Pokémon trainer up and brings him down with an atomic drop which propels Soot into the meat once again! Ollie then grabs Soot and hits him with a German Suplex! Soot lands hard on the back of his neck and shoulders as The Yardies boo Ollie. The boos get loud as Ollie stands over Soot, rolls him onto his back and slowly starts to squat. ~
Zybala: He wouldn't!
Dean: Oh, he would, sucka!
Belvedere: Two minutes until the next contestant!
~ A hush falls over the crowd as Ollie lowers his backside right over the face of Soot. The loud sound of flatulence can be heard by everyone as Ollie facts directly in the face of Soot!! Vicky and Beckman applaude their teammate as Fanny looks appalled at the act. Max looks angry, but more so that he's not fighting in the ring. Ollie laughs before going to Soot's legs and lifting them before stomping hard into Soot's stomach. He then moves his leg slightly to the right before wrapping Losem's legs around his and turns Losem over into a Sharpshooter!! Soot screams in pain as he tries crawling for the ropes, but Ollie leans backward to apply the pressure on his opponent's back. Soot pushes himself off the mat a little in an attempt to alleviate some of the pressure but Ollie really has the hold locked in.
Soot can't bear the pain and starts tapping out! Ollie releases the hols and stands up with his arms raised in victory. Mitch gets out of his chair and walks up to the cage. He gets Ollie's attention and starts to remind him of the rules. Ollie gets a look of remembrance on his face and turns back to see Soot crawling to the ropes. Ollie stalks his opponent and grabs Soot's legs and traps him in a Figure Four leg lock! Mitch goes back to his seat as Soot manages to grab the ropes. He starts yelling at Ollie to let him go, and Ollie looks in Mitch's direction who shakes his head no. Ollie smiles and really yanks on the legs as Soot cries out in pain once more. Belvedere starts to count down from ten. ~
Dean: Next wrestler coming up! Who is it?
Zybala: No clue, but we'll find out soon!
~ Belvedere calls out ONE and a buzzer sounds. ~
Belvedere: Team Fanny won the earlier coin toss, so they get the first member to join.
~ The fans cheer as Max Rotten roars and hops out of the playpen. He runs to the ring with Betty and starts to hack it at the cage door. Mitch just gets up and opens the door for Max. Max leaves the knife in the slowly defrosting meat and enters the ring to a big ovation! He runs over and drops a big elbow on Ollie's chest before untangling his legs from Soot's. Max pulls Ollie to his feet and yells at Old School to punch him! Ollie obliges and connects with a stiff right to Rotten's cheek! Max smiles and gives Ollie a receipt and the two men start exchanging blows! Max laughs as he is finally getting to fucking fight someone. Neither man is budging an inch as the trade lefts, rights, and chest chops. It's big men hitting man meat and the Yardies are eating it up!
During all of this, Soot has managed to drag himself into a corner and sits there, trying to recover. He just watches Rhule and Rotten duke it out in the ring while trying to massage some pain out of his legs. Rhule decks Max with a stiff right that staggers the lost Rotten brother. Ollie hits the ropes and charges at Max, but Max counters as he lifts Max up in the air. Rotten goes for a pop-up Rotten Bomb, but Ollie manages to push away from Rotten mid-air! Ollie lands on his feet and quickly boots Rotten in the midsection! Rotten doubles over and Ollie cinches his head and tries to hit a D.D.T., but Soot jumps on Ollie's back and locks in a sleeper hold!
Rhule releases Max as he tries to shake Soot off. Ollie is whipping his body around like a dog with fleas but he can't shake Losem loose. Ollie tries reaching behind himself but gets met with a flurry of body blows from Max. He then tries to fight Max but then Soot cinches in the sleeper! Ollie is slowly fading and tries to back away from Rotten, only to back himself into a corner. Soot releases the sleeper and sits on the top turnbuckle as Max runs in, crushing Ollie with a splash! Max hits a snapmare that brings Ollie out of the corner and sprawled out on the mat. Max yells at Soot to do something. Soot stands up on the turnbuckle, using the meat to balance himself. He yells "shooting star!" before leaping into the air. Soot tries to perform the move but can only rotate half-way and crashes back first on Ollie. The fans still cheer the attempt! ~
Belvedere: One minute until the next contestant!
Dean: Did that time go by a little fast to you?
Zybala: It's Meat Games, baby! The action is gonna go hard and fast. Of course time is gonna fly by.
Dean: True dat, sucka! Even Soot is doing better than usual.
~ Soot stands up throwing his arms around excited that he didn't break his neck. Max grabs him and starts talking strategy before the two descend on Ollie. They drag him up and over to the middle of the two rings. They set Ollie up for a double suplex and lift Old School up. They bring him down on the top ropes of both rings and leave him hanging as they both start clubbing him with forearms. Belvedere starts a countdown from ten. Johnny MONEY BAGS Beckman leaves the pen and grabs a nearby lawn rake. He waits until the buzzer and rushes to the ring. Mitch opens the door and Ollie is in the ring!!
He goes to Soot first, using the plastic rake head to literally rake Losem's back! Boos fill The Yard as Soot cries out in pain as Beckman turns the rake on Max. But instead of raking him, MONEY BAGS hits Rotten with the wooden handle over and over. Arms, back, head, nothing is off limits to Beckman as he assaults Rotten. Max tries to turn to defend himself but Johnny hits him right across the head! The rake breaks in half as Zybala yells out a protest, but Beckman ignores him.
Max is now bleeding from where the rake broke across his forehead. Beckman gets behind him and uses the broken handle to start choking out Max! The fans boo as Rotten slowly starts to fade, the blood dripping down his face, Beckman lets him fall to the mat before turning his attention back to Soot. He kicks Soot right in the pokéballs! Beckman then hooks Soot up for a suplex and lifts him. He holds Soot up for a few seconds before hitting him with The Money Drop! The Yardies boo, but a few still yell "BRAIN BUSTA!!!" With both opponent's down, Beckman goes to help Ollie off of the ropes. ~
Zybala: I seriously need to lock up my shit before these shows….
Dean: Why? They add to the fun, sucka. We finally got some color! And I don't mean me.
Zybala: Now if I said that, people would be trying to cancel me. But I know better.
Dean: And that why I don't tell you to check your privilege.
~ After Johnny helps Ollie down, and he clears the cobwebs, they start stomping away on their opponents. Vicky shouts across The Yard at Fanny that Team Fanny sucks. Fanny tries to leave her playpen to go after Vicky but The Mariachi Band and Head of (and only) Security Lucas Thames, stop her. Fanny pouts as her team is getting whomped. She then leaves the pen, but heads into the garage. Zybala yells to leave his shit alone, but Dean holds him down. They continue their play-by-play which we only hear part of. Why is that? It's like the writers of every match in e-fedding don't want to get the detailed. And there's your one 4th wall break per show, ROB!!
Anyways, Ollie and Beckman have lifted Soot up for a double powerbomb as they both run at the ropes! They throw Soot over the ropes, sending him crashing hard to the mat of the other ring! That leaves a bloody Rotten all by himself. Max is slowly crawling towards the ropes but is stopped by Team Vicky. Being the good guys they are, they actually help Rotten to his feet. Johnny pulls a hundred dollar bill out from his pocket. Yes, his wrestling trunks have pockets. He's THAT rich. Be jealous, ladies. He then uses the bill to wipe the blood from Max's head, asking if he is okay. Rotten starts to answer, but Beckman cuts him off by shoving the bloody hundred in his mouth, telling him that he doesn't care!
As Belvedere calls out ONE MINUTE REMAINING, Rhule and Beckman throw Rotten over the ropes and into the Meat Cage wall! Ollie backs away as Max pulls himself to his feet, and runs forward with a dropkick, driving Max into the frozen meat! How is it still cold?! Do the laws of nature not apply in The Yard?! Regardless, Max hits the meat hard and falls forward on the top rope, which holds him up. Johnny grabs Rotten by the head and slams it back into a particularly thick T-Bone steak. Beckman pulls Max forward and slams his head back once more! Max's head hits the cage so hard that the T-Bone gets knocked loose from the structure! It lands on the lap of one lucky fan, who immediately brings it over to Emilio and starts cooking the steak on the grill. The integrity of the cage is still intact. ~
Belvedere: Five…. Four….. Three…… Two….
ONE!
~ The buzzer goes off once again and Fanny exits the garage holding a bunch of light tubes and dragging a large black plastic bag behind her. She asks The Mariachi Band members for help and they agree to carry some folding chairs from the garage as Mitch opens the cage door. Fanny drops the bag at ringside as she carefully places the light tubes on the ring mat. ~
Dean: Why ain't you complaining about her taking your shit?
Zybala: Those light tubes are dead. I just forgot to toss those out on garbage day. And I'm not spoiling what's in the bag.
Dean: Is it my ex wife's head?
Zybala: Jesus Christ, John Doe! No!!
Dean: WHAT'S IN THE BAG?!?!
~ Fanny picks up one light tube for each hand and goes over to hit Ollie and Beckman with the tubes! Glass and dust go everywhere on contact! Beckman covers his face with his hands to protect his eyes from the dust as Rhule starts hacking. The Band has come to ring side with chairs and Fanny grabs one. She lays out Ollie with a hard chair shot to the head and gives one to Johnny for good measure! With both foes out on the mat, Fanny leaves the cage, grabs the bag and brings it back in. Those watching the announce table see Zybala smiling wickedly.
Fanny sees Soot getting back to his feet and she calls him over. She gives Soot some instructions and the pair start taking off Rhule's and Beckman's tops of their attire, if applicable. Their bios were very vague on the ring gear. Anyways, the duo are topless and Fanny grabs the bag once more. She holds it over MONEY BAGS and Old School and empties the contents. It's leafy, it's green, it's fucking crabgrass!!! The prickly weeds get dumped all over the two Team Vicky members and Fanny and Soot start to stomp the plants into the flesh of their opponents! Zybala and the fans cheer the use of this traditional Yard weapon. After a thorough beat down, Fanny and Soot go to check on Max, who is slowly coming to his senses. They help him into the ring and he surveys the carnage. He looks pissed that he missed some "fun." NOT for long though….
He runs over and grabs a light tube off of the mat and walks over to Beckman. Max places the tube over the crabgrass and steps on it. He grinds the glass and the prickly weed into the flesh of Beckman who cries out in pain. Max then grabs a shard and starts to slowly cut Beckman across the forehead with sadistic delight. Fanny and Soot cringe a little as blood trickles from the cut. The Yardies cheer though, blood thirsty drunks that they are. Max then moves to Ollie and repeats the process to more cheers. Max stands and offers the tube shard to his partners, saying everyone should bleed. They politely decline and Max shrugs. He then turns his attention back to Ollie and lifts him up to his feet. He scoops Ollie up for a Rotten Slam (World's Strongest Slam). He holds Ollie up as he looks down on the mat before driving him down on the glass and crabgrass mixture on the mat! He shoots the leg and makes the cover! Soot then reminds him of the rules. ~
Zybala: Max got caught up in the moment there.
Dean: Sucka wants to win. Can't blame him for trying.
Zybala: He just has to wait until Vicky gets in the ring.
Belvedere: ONE MINUTE REMAINING.
Zybala: Convenient.
Dean: Ain't it?
~ As Ollie is getting the brunt of the damage, Beckman starts crawling away to the other ring. He grabs the broken rake handle as he slinks under the ropes and makes it to the much cleaner ring. No glass or crabgrass there. Johnny scooches over to a far corner and sits while staring at everyone. Fanny turns away from Ollie and notices that Beckman is gone! She looks around the meat confines and spots him in the other ring. She points this out to Soot, who tells her that he's got this. He then walks to the ropes and tries to show off. He grabs the top rope and tries to hop on it. He actually manages to stick the landing and tries to hop over to the second ring's ropes…. Key word being try.
His right foot slips as he leaps and he over steps trying to correct his footing. Soot crotches himself on the top rope before falling on the metal plank between the ring. The male audience collectively groans. Max smacks his forehead in disgust as Fanny shakes her head. The pair then go into the other ring, ignoring Soot, and advance on Beckman. MONEY BAGS starts swinging the rake handle defensively to keep his foes back. Fanny tries to advance but gets whacked hard in the side of the ribs! Fanny grabs her ribs and backs away as Max tries to grab the handle away. The two men briefly play a game of Tug-of-war, but as Rotten pulls, Beckman releases his end. This causes Rotten to stumble backwards and Beckman tackles him to the mat! He mounts Max and starts raining down punches as Belvedere counts down from ten, The fans count all the way to zero, and they make a loud buzzer noise as the real buzzer sounds.
Vicky Stone hops out of the playpen and runs towards the cage as the fans boo her. She doesn't even bother with the door as she runs to the side where Beckman is. She starts climbing the meat cage all the way to the top. Vicky stands and balances herself while Fanny stares up at her. Vicky leaps with a huge cross-body and hits Fanny hard. Both women fall to the mat as Vicky starts hitting Fanny much like Beckman is hitting Max as Mitch opens the door and steps into the ring. ~
Belvedere: All contestants are now in the ring. LET THE WAR GAMES BEGIN!!
~ The Yardies cheer at this briefly before returning to boo Stone and Beckman as they continue to hit Fanny and Rotten respectively. ~
Dean: Everyone is in, sucka! Eliminations can happen!
Zybala: And surprisingly, the cage is still holding up. Duct tape truly is magical.
Dean: Damn straight. Told ya it was gonna work.
~ Soot gets to his feet and steps between the ropes as he makes his way to Vicky. He balls up a fist and punches her right in the back of the head! Vicky is stunned as she rolls off of Fanny, holding the back of her head. She looks up at Soot, who starts yelling about payback. Vicky tries to get up but Soot pushes her back down and tries to kick at her, but Stone rolls away. Soot keeps stomping and kicking but Fanny keeps rolling until she rolls under the ropes next to the cage. She stands up and Soot roars a battle cry before charging right at her. Soot leaps in the air, but Vicky ducks at the last second. Soot hits the meat hard before staggering back and spinning around.
Beckman has been watching this go down as he punches Rotten. MONEY BAGS stands up as Soot hits the cage. Johnny drops to his knees and hits an uppercut between Losem's legs! As Soot bends over to hold his crotch, Beckman completes the Bank Roll combo as he wraps Soot in a small package. Mitch comes running from the other ring, but before he can count, Rotten pushes Beckman off of Soot. Rotten is about to attack Beckman when a bloody Ollie cuts him off from out of nowhere! The respective muscle for their teams start to brawl as the ring gets crowded with all six competitors and the ref. Ollie and Rotten keep aiming their punches at each other's foreheads, trying to widen the lacerations and spill more blood. Vicky and Fanny start scraping as Soot tries to run away to the other ring with Beckman hot on his heels!
Being much smaller, Soot steps through the ropes easier than MONEY BAGS and enters the other ring. Glass and crabgrass still are littering parts of the mat, but Soot rubs to grab the chair Fanny brought in. As Beckman steps in the ring, Soot hits him in the back with the chair! Beckman arches his back in pain, and stumbles forward. Soot gets in position and waits for Beckman to turn around. When he does, Soot swings hard! Beckman dodges and grabs at the chair. He yanks hard and pulls it from Soot's grasp. Soot backs up a step and leaps to dropkick the chair into Beckman! But it's Soot we're talking about. He manages to get as high as Beckman's hip, which does hurt, but MONEY BAGS still holds onto the chair. As Soot gets up, he gets a chair to the head to send him back down. Beckman yells for Mitch, who turns from the action in the other ring to answer the call. Beckman drops the chair and makes the pin as Mitch gets in the ring. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two…..
No!!
~ Soot kicks out before three count, shocking the crowd. They start cheering for the Pokémon trainer to rally as Beckman gets up and grabs Soot's legs. He wraps his arms in the legs before flipping Soot onto his stomach to lock in The Rich Man's Burden!! Losem starts screaming as the clover leaf is causing a lot of pain. Back in the other ring, Fanny has just booted Vicky in the stomach and goes for a Stunner to add insult to injury. As Fanny grabs Vicky's head, Stone pushes Fanny away, which allows Fanny to see her teammate in peril. She rushes to one of the top turnbuckles and leaps off with a missile dropkick that hits Beckman right in the chest!! MONEY BAGS falls backwards, wrenching on Soot's legs before falling back. As Beckman falls back, the back of his head hits the back of Soot's! Beckman rolls off of Soot with both men holding their heads.
Fanny checks to see if Soot is okay. Vicky steps into the ring and drags Fanny to her feet by the hair! Fanny screams as Vicky drags her to a corner and starts hitting her. Vicky climbs to the second rope and starts raining down punch after punch on Fanny; the fans booing instead of counting. Soot runs over and hits Vicky on the back. Soot keeps jumping and hitting Vicky in the back as Fanny slides out of the corner. Vicky drops to her feet and Soot spins her to face him. Fanny and him then lift Vicky up to sit on the top turnbuckle. The duo climb to the second rope and set Vicky up for a double suplex. The Yardies start to buzz with excitement as a recovered Beckman and Ollie Rhule get behind Soot and Fanny, trying to set them up for powerbombs! Max then runs in and kicks Rhule in between the legs!
Ollie drops to his knees in pain as Max grabs Beckman and tosses him aside. He then pulls Soot and Fanny off the ropes, yelling that Towers of Doom are dumb and over played. The Yardies boo Rotten as he says this. Rotten then grabs Vicky, bends her forward and lifts her up for a Muscle Buster! He walks to the middle of the ring and drops right on his ass, hitting the more brutal version of the move! Rotten releases his grip and Vicky crumbles to the mat. Max is about to go for the pin when Beckman hits him from behind, pushing Rotten off of his captain. Soot quickly jumps on MONEY BAGS' back, and locks in a camel clutch PokéLock! Soot yells for Johnny to tap, but Beckman muscles himself to stand up and falls backwards, crushing Soot! As Beckman starts to get up, Fanny runs at him with a Shining Wizard!
Beckman ducks at the last second and Fanny flies over him, skidding across the crabgrass and glass on the mat. Seeing his enemy distracted, Max grabs Beckman and throws him into the ropes. On the bounce back, Beckman stops right before Max and gives him the same treatment Rotten gave Ollie. Rotten falls to the mat as Beckman surveys the carnage around him. Beckman grabs Rhule, helps him up, and they head over to Soot. Both men lift Losem up for a double powerbomb, each bearing the weight on one shoulder. Instead of simply dropping Soot, they run at the opposite ropes. At the very last second, Rhule and MONEY BAGS throw Soot into the meat as hard as they can!! Soot hits the meat so hard that he goes THROUGH the cage!!
Different cuts of meat fly everywhere as Losem's body breaks this part of the cage as he crashes hard onto the grass below! The fans start a loud "HOLY SHIT!" chant as Soot lays on the grass, surrounded by meats. Some fans grab the choicest cuts and bring them to the grills. ~
Dean: Oh fuck!! Soot is out of the match, sucka!! It's now a three on two!!
Zybala: Jesus Christ! Out of the match, nothing! He may be out of LIFE! That damn well may have killed him!
Dean: Team Vicky looks damn pleased with themselves.
~ Ollie and Beckman fist bump before turning back to their other opponents. Fanny has pinned a down Vicky, but Mitch only makes it to one before MONEY Rhules (You're fucking welcome!) pulls Fanny off. Ollie grabs Fanny's feet and Beckman grabs her legs. They lift her up and start swinging her back and forth to build momentum. After a count of three, they hurl Fanny over the ropes and into the meat! Thawing blood splatters everywhere on contact as Fanny hits the meat and slumps to the mat. Ollie tends to Vicky as Beckman goes to drag Fanny under the ropes, but Fanny has her arm through the cage and is holding on to a big slab of brisket. MONEY BAGS pulls hard, but Fanny now has both arms around the meat. Beckman shouts at Rhule to help, which he does after sitting Vicky up in a corner.
Both men grab Fanny's feet and pull as Fanny holds on for dear life! After much pulling and screaming, Fanny is yanked into the ring! Ollie goes to roll her over and is met with a brisket to the head! The fans cheer as Ollie staggers back with a face full of meat juice! Beckman stares in shock as Fanny swings the brisket at him but he ducks. He quickly gets behind her and locks in a Million Dollar Dream! Fanny is flailing around, trying to get free as she holds onto the brisket with one hand. The juices slide down her arm as Johnny shakes her around like a dog with a chew toy. Max starts to get up and sees his partner in peril. He sneaks behind Beckman and uppercut him between the legs, returning the "favor."
MONEY BAGS releases Fanny so he can hold on to his coin purse. He drops to his knees and Fanny smacks him in the head with the brisket. Beckman drops to the mat and Fanny throws the brisket aside to make the cover. She hooks Johnny's leg and Mitch gets in position, now wearing thick work gloves so as to not cut himself. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
Thre…..
~ Vicky jumps at Fanny at the last possible moment and breaks up the pin. Fans boo this. Max grabs a handful of Vicky's hair and pulls her up to her feet. He starts talking shit until she pokes him in the eyes. Blinded, Rotten instinctively covers his eyes in pain and Vicky hits him with a lightning fast Stunner!! Rotten drops to the mat laid out! Fanny steps in front of Vicky and kicks her in between the legs! The fans cheer at this equal opportunity crotch attack as Fanny then grabs Vicky's head with both hands and drives her face first into a crabgrass pile with The Fan-DUMB face buster!! Fanny rolls Vicky to her back and makes the cover! ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREENOOOOO!!!
Dean: How the fuck she kick out of dat?!?!
Zybala: No clue, Dean-o. Instinct? Having more in the tank? The thought of The Wizard? Nobody knows.
Dean: I know one thing. Meat Games is off the hook! Pun intended, sucka!!
~ Fanny cries out in frustration and tries to cover Vicky again, hooking her legs this time. ~
Mitch: One…….
Two……
~ Another kick out! Fanny gets on her knees, grabs Vicky's hair and starts slamming it into the mat over and over. Ollie comes up behind her and forces Fanny away from Vicky. ~
Ollie: Get away from her, you BITCH!
~ This quote gets a cheap pop from the crowd as Ollie. Ollie pulls Fanny to her feet and hits her with a hard European Uppercut which causes the Eastern European to cheer loudly from the grills. Fanny spins on her feet and Ollie grabs her head and pulls it under his arm backwards. He drops Fanny with a reverse D.D.T (Rhule #3!) and slowly makes the cover. Mitch gets in position to make the count. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
Thre…..
~ Out of nowhere, Soot Losem leaps from the top of the meat cage onto Ollie's back with a huge frog splash, breaking up the pin!! Another Holy Shit chant fills The Yard as Soot tries to roll Ollie off of a crushed Fanny. Hey, she was under Ollie when he got hit. Of course she would be hurting too. Beckman grabs Soot before he pins Ollie and lifts him up for a suplex. Beckman then spikes Soot's head in the mat with another The Money Drop! Beckman hooks the leg and grabs a handful of trunks as he makes the pin. The fans boo and try to tell Mitch of the blatant cheating. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!!
Belvedere: Soot Losem has been eliminated!
Dean: MONEY BAGS making use of there being no rules, sucka. And now Team Fanny is down a member.
Zybala: It's gonna be hard to come back from that.
Dean: But Max has an equalizer with him!!
~ In the chaos, Rotten has gotten himself a chair! He slams it hard onto Beckman's back over and over until he's out of breath. Panting, Rotten throws the chair on top of Beckman and turns his attention to Ollie. After Rotten nails a few well placed kicks to the head of Rhule, he wanders off to the cage door. He finds a few unbroken light tubes that Fanny didn't use earlier and grabs them. He then places the tubes on top of Ollie before climbing to the top of the nearest turnbuckle. With as much grace as has, Rotten leaps off the top rope with a Swanton Bomb!! Glass explodes everywhere as Rotten crashes on top of Ollie! Blood starts trickling down the exposed flesh of Max's arms as he stretches an arm out to grab Ollie's leg for a pin. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!!
Belvedere: Ollie Rhule has been eliminated!
~ Max yells out a cheer as he slowly gets off of Ollie. Rotten holds a hand on his back as he makes his way over to a slowly moving Beckman. He picks up the rich man and puts his head between his legs. Rotten bends over and wraps his arms around Beckman and lifts him up for a Rotten Bomb. As Rotten drops Johnny, Vicky Stone slams a chair into Max's back! Beckman hits the mat hard as Rotten cries out in pain as he staggers forward. Vicky swings the chair again and hits Rotten's back again! He stumbles into the ropes, using them to hold himself up. Though that may be a bad thing. Vicky walks him across the back for a third time with the chair! As she winds up for a third time, she hears Mitch yell ONE! She turns around to see, across the ring, a barely conscious Fanny with an arm across Beckman's chest. TWO!! Vicky panics and does the only thing she thinks of. THRE….
Vicky throws the chair across the ring and her aim is true! The chair hits Mitch on the back, stopping his count. Vicky quickly falls to the mat to play possum as Mitch turns around to see Rotten leaning across the top ropes with his back to him, and Vicky down on the mat. Not sure what to make of it, he turns back to Fanny and Beckman and starts his count over. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREENOOOOOOOO!!!!
~ Vicky rushes over and breaks up the pin just as Beckman gets a shoulder up before Mitch hits the mat a third time. Vicky beats down on a barely conscious Fanny, yelling that Wizzy will never love her! Beckman rolls on to his hands and knees and tries to crawl out of the glass covered ring, but someone grabs his leg. It's Soot Losem! Despite being eliminated, he has only just regained consciousness. Beckman starts kicking at Soot to try and shake him loose, but the trainer has a good grip on his boot. Mitch sees this and tells Soot that he has been eliminated. Losem tries to argue but the ref is adamant and starts to lead Soot out of the cage. That's when Mitch sees Ollie.
Mitch tries to wake Ollie up, but Rhule casually pushes Mitch away, muttering something about 5 more minutes. Ollie rolls over and curls up. Soot looks at Mitch and tells him he has an idea. Soot rolls Ollie on to his back and covers. He tells Mitch to count, which the confused ref does. At two, Rhule kicks out, pushes Soot off of him and gets to his feet! He looks ready to fight but Mitch explains to him that he too has been eliminated. Disgruntled, Ollie goes to the cage door and pulls out Betty! Mitch starts yelling at Zybala to do something, but Ollie merely takes the knife and hacks off a nice cut of steak off of the cage. He throws the knife in the grass and brings the meat to the grill. ~
Dean: This match is getting weird. Like, weirder than da usual Yard weirdness.
Zybala: Dude, we have a cage made of meat…. I think calling things "weird" is the normal for Outsiders.
Dean: Yeah, at least the cage is still holding. And each team has two suckas left.
~ Max staggers a bit as he pushes himself off the ropes and pushes Vicky off of Fanny. He tries to pick her up, but throws her to the side when he sees Beckman in the other ring. Letting his need for a fight guide him, Max goes to who he thinks is the bigger challenge. Rotten gets in the ring as Beckman stands there waiting for him. The two men lock eyes and no words are needed. Both are bloody, battered and beaten. They know only one can win. They walk towards each other, ready to fight. Beckman isn't honorable though and kicks right at Max's nether regions, but Rotten blocks the kick. He doesn't want to get hit in the bean bag again. Max is about to attack Beckman when Vicky comes from behind and hits the most devastating move in ALL of wrestling; The Surprise Roll-Up! Rotten's shoulders hit the mat and Beckman lays on top of Vicky to help with the pin! ~
Mitch: One…….
Two……..
~ Fanny comes outta nowhere to break up the pin. She dives into Beckman and knocks him off. It seems to have taken her last bit of energy as Fanny collapses to the mat. Rotten kicks Vicky away and quickly gets to his feet. He runs at Beckman and lifts him up for a powerbomb and drives him hard right into the cage! He holds onto MONEY BAGS and turns back to the ring and hits a sit-out Rotten Bombs in the middle of the ring! Max moves his legs to cover Johnny's shoulders to make the pin. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!
Belvedere: Johnny Beckman has been eliminated!!
~ The fans cheer as Beckman loses. Max stands up and starts dragging him out of the way. Vicky picks up the earlier discarded rake handle and smacks Rotten in the back of the head! He staggers but doesn't fall. He turns to face Vicky and gets hit with the handle again. Rotten is woozy and Vicky hits him one more time! Rotten still doesn't fall and Vicky jabs him in the stomach, doubling him over and she hits him with The Stunner! Rotten falls to the mat and Vicky covers him. Mitch gets in position and starts to count! ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!
Belvedere: Max Rotten has been eliminated!!
Zybala: Two eliminations in quick succession! Beckman and Rotten are out of the match!
Dean: That leaves only the ladies left. Who will win? Who might win Wizzy's heart?
~ Vicky gets off of Max and looks around for Fanny, who is pulling herself up in a corner. Vicky charges in and leaps with a shotgun dropkick, driving her feet into Fanny's chest and sending her crashing hard into the turnbuckles. Fanny slumps on her butt down on the mat, leaning back against the bottom turnbuckle. Vicky backs away and charges back in with another dropkick to the chest. Fanny is struggling to breath when Vicky runs back in with a side hip attack that snaps Fanny's head back! Fanny slinks down to the mat and rolls under the ropes next to the cage.
Vicky seems poised for attack. She yells at Fanny to get up, maybe looking to ram her into the cage. A weirdly familiar fan dressed in large sunglasses and a baseball hat runs up to the ring and starts to encourage Fanny. He reaches through the meat to hold her hands before Head of Security Lucas Thames rushes over and drags the man away. Fanny holds her arms tight across her chest, still hurting from the dropkicks. Leaning against the cage, meat blood dripping down her back, Fanny slowly makes her way back to her feet. Vicky charges in with another dropkick but Fanny slides to the left to avoid the attack. Vicky's feet hit the cage, knocking some cuts of meat loose and sending to the grass. Vicky gets caught in the ropes as she misses and falls on her back with her feet on the ropes!
The Yardies cheer for Fanny to try and rally against Vicky. Fanny steps back through the rope into the ring as Stone gets to her feet. Vicky starts spinning around trying to find Fanny, who stops hugging herself to reveal something the size of a softball in her hand! Vicky finally sees Fanny who lifts her hand high and smacks Vicky with the object hard! Vicky drops like a ton of bricks as the fans are at a fever pitch. They are cheering for Fanny to pin her as Fanny falls on top of her, not having enough strength to hook a leg. Mitch dives in position and the fans start to count with him. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!
~ Mitch calls for the bell as The Faithful explode with cheers. Fanny rolls off of Vicky with tears in her eyes as she thrusts her fist up in the air. We finally see what she's holding, which causes some fans to cheer louder. ~
Dean: That's a fucking turnip!!! That sucka gave her a turnip!
Zybala: I don't know who that guy was. I know who he kinda looked like, but Lucas has kicked him out of The Yard so we can't ask.
Dean: Whoever it was clearly chose Fanny over Vicky! Fucking turnip for the win!
Belvedere: Here are your winners…. TEAM FANNY!!
~ Soot and Max rush back into the ring, and run over to Fanny. They pick her up and the trio celebrate together. Fanny is crying, Soot is looking at her with the last in his eyes, Max gives Vicky a kick while she's down. Nobody messes with HIS Gilly except him! ~
Dean: What a match! Good thing that meat truck crashed in front of the house so we can build this cage.
Zybala: Yes….. crashed….. by total accident…
Dean: Z….. what did you do?
Zybala: Well, for Dean, I'm Mike Zybala saying Good Fight, Good Night. Alright everyone! You can keep what you rip off the cage!!
~ This causes the entire Yard to devolve into chaos. The Yardies rush out of their seats and start attacking the cage, trying to get free meat. Max grabs Betty and tries to hack away the best choice cuts. Zybala sneaks away from Dean's questioning as the scene fades to black. ~