Lost in Time: Part 1

[TLS]

~I feel something poking at my chest as I open my eyes to find an elderly woman staring down at me. ~

TLS: Where am I?

Old Lady: Looks like you may have gotten lost in these woods.

~She looks awfully familiar, but I can’t quite place it. She places her hand out and helps me up, I’m amazed by how strong she is.~

Old Lady: How did you get lost here?

TLS: I don’t know, I fell into the portal potty. I don’t quite remember what happened after that.

Old Lady: A portal you say?

TLS: Yeah, I mean it wasn’t an actual portal. I think I may have passed out from the smell of shit and piss. Next thing you know I wake up here.

~The old lady motions for me to follow her. ~

Old Lady: You look like you could use something to eat. My home isn’t that far away.

TLS: I am hungry.

~ We are so deep in the woods that I can not see the sky due to the thick branches of trees. After walking for about 5 minutes, I see smoke from a chimney coming from a small wooden cabin.~

TLS: You live here? Alone?

Old Lady: I live with my 3 daughters. But we try to stay away from the people in town, they are always giving us dirty looks and speaking under their breath about us.

TLS: I never got your name? People call me Tommy.

Old Lady: Tommy..such a lovely name for a man. My kids call me mother, but you can call me Allie.

~ We step inside the small cabin and a putrid smell permeates through the air. I locate a large cauldron sitting over a fire. There is a small bed on one corner of the room, a black is laying in the middle of the bed. There are 3 cots beside the bed. The other side of the room has a shelf with books, and what seems to be jars with insects and small creatures in them. The old lady reaches for a small cup and heads over to the cauldron and scoops a cup full of whatever awful things is cooking and hands it to me. ~

Allie: Drink this. It will give you strength for your journey.

~ I look inside the mug. The liquid is dark green, I fight the urge to vomit.~

TLS: I think I might have to pass on this. I’m actually not that hungry.

~ The door to the cabin swings open and a hefty sized young woman santers in.~

Hefty Gal: Oh Mother dear! I’ve found you a newt! (She sees me.) Well who is this? You didn’t tell me you were having a guest over Mother.

Allie: Bring that over here and hush.

~ The Hefty Gal heads towards the old lady as another young woman enters the cabin, she's skinny as a pole. She ambles in clumsily. ~

Skinny Gal: Oh Mother dear! I have found that head of minnow for you. (She sees me standing in the room) Why Mother, who is this fine gentleman?

Allie: Oh will you hush up and bring that over here?

~ The Skinny Gal heads towards the Old Lady as the door swings open and a dwarf stumbles into the cabin.~

Dwarf Gal: Oh Mother dear! (her voice is deep) I have found that tongue of beaver that you were looking for. (The Dwarf sees me) Mother? Is that for me?

Allie: Oh hush up and bring that over her.

~ The Dwarf gal rushes over to the rest of the women. They huddle up in the corner as I stare at the nasty concoction in my cup. My belly starts to rumble.~

TLS: Do you all have any bread, or beef jerky or something? Does Ubereats come out this way?

~ The women don’t hear me, or at least they pretend not to hear me and continue their little huddle in the corner.~

TLS: Fuck it.

~ I hold my breath and take a big swig from the mug. Surprisingly it tastes like pickle juice and kool-aid. The women begin to cackle as I feel the libation travel through my body. I star to get woozy, my head spins, I can feel my senses heightened.~

Allie: We’ll wait until he falls asleep, then we can tie him up.

Hefty Gal: I want to be the first one.

Skinny Gal: No, let me be the first one.

Dwarf Gal: I’m the oldest, I should be the first one.

Allie: Oh shut up all of you. I’m the oldest, I’ll be first.

~ They all begin to cackle. I throw the mug down and stumble towards the door. I begin to run into the woods, but everything feels like it is moving in slow motion. I can hear the women laughing behind me, their footsteps never too far behind. I begin to see a blaze of fire and voices murmuring and then the voice of a man bellows through the woods. ~

Voice of Reverend Parris: STOP THERE WITCHES! BY DECREE OF THE LOCAL MAGISTRATE OF SALEM, THE HONORABLE SAMUEL SEWALL, ON THIS DAY MARCH 22 IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 16 HUNDRED AND 92, ALLISON PARKER, ADDISON PARKER, TAMEKA PARKER, AND BETSY PARKER WILL BE ARRESTED AND PUT ON TRIAL FOR WITCHCRAFT!

~ I can feel the fires closing in as people with torches surround the 3 Witches. A bearded man grabs a hold of me.~

Beard: What about this fellow? He seems to be some sort of Witch lover. He’s got their smell on his breath.

Parris: We Shall take him in as well.

TLS: They tried to poison me. I’m not a witch. I feel like my bowels are going to explode.

Parris: How do we know to trust you?

TLS: You don’t, but I need to relieve myself before I get real sick.

Parris: Mister Willard, please take this man to the outhouse, when we are back in town.

~ I fade in and out of consciousness as I’m dragged through the woods and into the town, I can’t see the 4 Witch, but I can hear their voices murmuring softly ~

Witches: Double double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble. Soil the earth and rain it down. Fetch their souls and Curse this town. Double double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble. Soil the earth and rain it down. Fetch their souls and Curse this town.

~ The man named Willard tosses me to the ground and points to a wooden shed.~

Willard: Hurry up there. We’ve yet to decide if you will stand trial with these evil wenches.

~ I drag myself up, my mind still dizzy. I slowly open the door to the outhouse and fall in…..~


—----------------January 8, 2023 —-----------

Leslie: This sounds ridiculous sir. You’re saying you fell into a portal potty, wound up in Salem Massachusetts in 1692, and then you fell into another portal potty and came back here.

Grim: I think that’s what he is saying.

TLS: No. When I fell into the outhouse in Salem I ended up somewhere else, in another time. It’s as if I was lost in time.

Fanny: Sir, this sounds fascinating, but I don’t know how this is going to save the building. We have 45 days to fork over the 80 thousand for the Construction company, or else the City will Condemn this place and tear this place down.

~ Leslie opens up her laptop and opens up a spreadsheet. ~

Leslie: You made twenty thousand from appearances for OCW in the month of December. We paid ten thousand to PIC, and then we had to pay another 8 thousand to staff salaries. So we are at about 2 thousand.

TLS: Looks like I may have to take another match……

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The business of professional wrestling isn’t about looking cute. I know that in recent years we’ve seen an influx of wrestlers who put on a little bit of makeup and inject some silicone into their bodies, and then are able to sweet talk their way to the top of a federation. But I prescribe to the ugly side of this business. Phoenix Lestrange, I’m going to peel away the fake exterior that you put on everyday and show the world just how ugly you really are. I get it, this current environment allows people to dress up in cosplay and be a version of themself that they could never be. Underneath all that makeup and colorful wigs, you’re just an ugly little troll Phoenix. You probably wake up and look in the mirror in the morning and tell yourself how much you hate the real you. I hate the real you too.

The wrestling world doesn’t need people like you. I’m not one of those incels who spend my days on twitter scrolling for thirst traps. So if you think that putting on faery wings and posting cute pictures on Twitter will save you from getting beat up, you are dead wrong. After I’ve destroyed you. I’m going to post a picture of your lifeless on twitter, and let all the fat fucks who sit around naked by a computer eating cheetos and hot fries beat their meat until their heart stops.

You can take my words and go cry about to your friends, tell them I’m a chauvinist. But in what fairy tale world does someone like you belong in the ring with people who have trained their whole lives? I’ve been doing this for too long to be disrespected like this. Main-eventing a Massacre against a real life rag doll. I get it, the OCW is pandering to the fat fuck incel crowd. I’m sure the stadium will be packed to the rafters with fat thirsty keyboard hunks who hope to get a glimpse of your pale white ass. So let’s give the fat fucks what they want. I’m going to put my hands all over you, choke you, spread your legs and punch you in the pussy. I’m going to punch you so hard in the pussy that you will orgasm in the ring. And while all the fat fucks will pull their dicks out in the crowd, I will lay on top of you, pin you, then throw you into the crowd and let them have their way with you. Fuck you Phoenix Lestrange and all the people like you. You’ll be an example of what happens when little girls want to play dress and get into a fight with a real man.

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~ The sound of a policeman’s whistle wakes me up as I find myself lying on the concrete in a dimly lit alley. I gather myself up slowly as the sound of women screaming hysterically echo through the alley. I stumble towards the street light at the beginning of the alleyway and see people gathered around a young woman with a pool of blood around her. ~

Policeman: You there move out of the way.

~ The Policeman pushes me out of the way and rushes towards the dead woman. He orders everyone to step back. One of the women at the scene begins to cry out.~

Woman: It was him. The man wearing Leather Apron. I saw him… He told me he would kill me next. ( she cries hysterically as blood from the dead girl drips from her clothes.)

~ On the far side of the street where the light is dim, I see a shadow disappear into the darkness.~



To be continued…….