Post by Deleted on Jan 5, 2023 1:22:57 GMT -5
St☠n _ Massacre 01.09.23
cold open.
A waving skull and crossbones banner flails in the distance. Closer to the lens. Stan stands beneath a swinging light and dangling boom microphone on an otherwise black background. Ultra-commanding, his deep stare sucks in the camera with one glance. His voice felt with full reverence in delivery and cadence...
"You have a little secret... don't you? Shhh, no- it's okay. Not just any secret, but that one you never tell. Not your most trusted friends know. Shushshushushushush! This goes beyond the normal secret range capability. This goes to nuclear anyone. As in no one. OH MY GOD! (fidgeting with a black skull and crossbones lighter) Your parents don't know?! Not your kids or your granny?! Maybe the dog. Mayyyyyybe. Is it eating at you right now?! That I am prodding at this ever so delicate feature of you? You have made it easy, friend. Do you mind if I smoke? Calms the nerves rubbing off of you. (lighter sparks) Seriously... I'm not going to ask what the secret is. You have one, was the point. So do I, so do a lot of folks. What I just did is called a parable. Can you say parable? Alright- but a parody is a form of a parable, which is your secret. Only it isn't one anymore. Neither is mine. I'mmmmmmmm heerrrrrrreeeeeeee! Finally! Turns those frowns upside-down! O... C... W. Nice to meet you! Welcome to Standard Television! What a lovely little setup you have hereeee! What a precious historical meeting this is... two stars colliding to form a whole new universe. I may be here to deliver a new Stan, but- who says hostile takeovers haaaaavvve to be unpleasant!? You know what I mean? Life just has these certain impeachable moments... that weave the fabric of who you are together! Just like that cheap coat from Goodwill that became your favorite! It's stiff and worn around the collar, but I'll be damned if it doesn't fit like a familiar electric blanket! Three seconds on a Monday Night? Sounds plenty familiar to me! Cozy and warm. That's how my OCW in-ring journey begins. Only one show here was ever going to live up to this Standard. Massacre is one of those names that leaves nothing quite left to be desired. It is what it is! Like me; The Standard of Professional Wrestling. My friends call me Stan. You can call me better. (admiring the skull on the lighter) Enough with the pleasantries, let me explain! I'm not here to be buddies with the drunk who nearly misses the bus from show to show. No- I want my face on the billboard above all the desperate never-weres clouding up the business that I love. Their dreams became nightmares of failed achievements, lack of sustainability, and/or squandered opportunities to become the proverbial 'guy.' Well, boys and girls and all other future victim types, problem solved! Wrestling has a brand-new Stan. Now, for Gods-sake, clean yourselves up! Is this how you treat guests? With Parodys? There is no type of ladder I've yet to climb. Working my way up is expected. It makes the victories that much sweeter. (flicking the lighter) Parodys are funny until they are in the wrong place at the wrong time. That time and place is the same. Monday Night. Where my way of doing things will collide with his! Which one of us will end in parody? Tune in to find out... (end on the flame ignited)"
puff of smoke. blackout.
cold open.
A waving skull and crossbones banner flails in the distance. Closer to the lens. Stan stands beneath a swinging light and dangling boom microphone on an otherwise black background. Ultra-commanding, his deep stare sucks in the camera with one glance. His voice felt with full reverence in delivery and cadence...
"You have a little secret... don't you? Shhh, no- it's okay. Not just any secret, but that one you never tell. Not your most trusted friends know. Shushshushushushush! This goes beyond the normal secret range capability. This goes to nuclear anyone. As in no one. OH MY GOD! (fidgeting with a black skull and crossbones lighter) Your parents don't know?! Not your kids or your granny?! Maybe the dog. Mayyyyyybe. Is it eating at you right now?! That I am prodding at this ever so delicate feature of you? You have made it easy, friend. Do you mind if I smoke? Calms the nerves rubbing off of you. (lighter sparks) Seriously... I'm not going to ask what the secret is. You have one, was the point. So do I, so do a lot of folks. What I just did is called a parable. Can you say parable? Alright- but a parody is a form of a parable, which is your secret. Only it isn't one anymore. Neither is mine. I'mmmmmmmm heerrrrrrreeeeeeee! Finally! Turns those frowns upside-down! O... C... W. Nice to meet you! Welcome to Standard Television! What a lovely little setup you have hereeee! What a precious historical meeting this is... two stars colliding to form a whole new universe. I may be here to deliver a new Stan, but- who says hostile takeovers haaaaavvve to be unpleasant!? You know what I mean? Life just has these certain impeachable moments... that weave the fabric of who you are together! Just like that cheap coat from Goodwill that became your favorite! It's stiff and worn around the collar, but I'll be damned if it doesn't fit like a familiar electric blanket! Three seconds on a Monday Night? Sounds plenty familiar to me! Cozy and warm. That's how my OCW in-ring journey begins. Only one show here was ever going to live up to this Standard. Massacre is one of those names that leaves nothing quite left to be desired. It is what it is! Like me; The Standard of Professional Wrestling. My friends call me Stan. You can call me better. (admiring the skull on the lighter) Enough with the pleasantries, let me explain! I'm not here to be buddies with the drunk who nearly misses the bus from show to show. No- I want my face on the billboard above all the desperate never-weres clouding up the business that I love. Their dreams became nightmares of failed achievements, lack of sustainability, and/or squandered opportunities to become the proverbial 'guy.' Well, boys and girls and all other future victim types, problem solved! Wrestling has a brand-new Stan. Now, for Gods-sake, clean yourselves up! Is this how you treat guests? With Parodys? There is no type of ladder I've yet to climb. Working my way up is expected. It makes the victories that much sweeter. (flicking the lighter) Parodys are funny until they are in the wrong place at the wrong time. That time and place is the same. Monday Night. Where my way of doing things will collide with his! Which one of us will end in parody? Tune in to find out... (end on the flame ignited)"
puff of smoke. blackout.