This is ALL IC, Bro! - The Diana Clock Countdown Begins.
Jan 3, 2023 9:23:35 GMT -5
Marcus Welsh, zybala, and 2 more like this
Post by Diana Watts on Jan 3, 2023 9:23:35 GMT -5
“Welcome to FISH HEADS! Name’s Gordy… can I take your order bud.”
Opening on a shot inside FISH HEADS restaurant. We see an upset Fish Head’s employee. This is Gordy. He’s unpleasant as he was forced to work the counter/cashier and not his usual position; Fryer/Griller in the back. Hair net and beard net on. Gordy takes the family’s order that is standing in front of him..
“Fish Head Family Combo Eh-Sap!. Next in line please… next… NEXT!”
“You didn’t do the song and jig, Gordon.”
“That’s DIANA F’N WATTS!
Gordy recognizes the women’s voice and looks up to see former Fish Heads employee and now OCW superstar, his old friend, Diana Watts standing in front of him.
“How have you been, chicka? I’ve seen you in OCW! Few wins, few loses… living the dream anyway! Diana Clock! Love it! Dreams do come true… Am I right?”
“Oh you know it, Gordy… it’s been a dream and a nightmare to behonest. But things are going to change. It’s a NEW year. It’s a NEW DIana. And with my SMALL assist of scaring off MOST of the Straders from Twitter last year. And seeing the… Vero-... um, Victor… um. THE LESBIAN Strader leaving OCW for what I hope is forever. It’s time for me to finally get back out there and speak my mind. Be myself… be me for the first time ever. So ANYWAY… I am in the city of Key West, Florida for my OCW Massacre match this week… “
“Oh yea? Who ya’ facing? Big Bifford? Harmon Egan? The OCW Champion, PIC again? Huh?”
Diana smirks.
“Nah. Have an easy one this week. Someone named ‘ALL IC BRO”.
“Oh… him…?”
Diana laughs.
“No don’t worry. I don’t have the slightest idea who he is either. Hell the ‘I.C’ could stand for anything. All Ice Cream Bro? All Indy Competitor Bro? All Itty-Bitty Cock Bro?”
Gordy laughs and shouts “All Indigenous CUM Bro! Ha ha!” Getting the attention of everyone inside the restaurant. Diana and Gordy look around awkwardly.
“Get it, Diana?”
“... I do. I do get it, Gordy. Good one. But I’m pretty sure THAT’S not it. I'm sure it’s something like ek ALL IN CHARACTER BRO!”
“In Character? What does that even mean… isn’t this always ‘I.C’ since it’s real life…”
Gordy and Diana look into the camera and break the fourth wall. Gordy smiles and winks as Diana looks disgusted but with a little bit of a smile…
CUT TO
They are actually looking out the window where a German Shepard is squatting over taking a crap in the parking lot.
“That’s a HUGE dump dog, Diana…”
“I think that dog eats too much beef… ANYWAY… I am in Florida going into Massacre planning my biggest and most important promo of my career… when I run into Fish Heads to use the bathroom. Number one by the way, I know you’re wondering…”
Gordy makes the ‘aw shucks’ look ‘You got me, Diana. You know me so well…”
“I know… I know. And there I see my old Fish Heads lunch and smoke break buddy, Gordy… and I just had to say hello. I was thinking after you get off work. We can catch up. Get a beer, coffee, meal, whatever floats your boat… talk about if you’re still spitting in the Frosty Machine. Or sticking cold french fries into many of your holes before tossing them in the fryer. Or the time we came in hung over and we through up over that old lady’s fries before serving her and told her it was a special chilli fry topping ON THE HOUSE! And she ATE IT… ALL! Haha. Good times… Oh man! I wanna catch up… what do you say?”
“I WOULD love to but…”
Diana looks disappointed. “Dude… c'mon. I'm paying...”
“I have some family stuff I need to take care of, you know? Oh look here they come now…”
Gordy points to the entrance of the FISH HEADS restaurant. Diana turns around to spot a bunch of trailer trashy folks exiting an old Trans Am Car like circus clowns out of a tiny car. A big elderly woman, two blonde chubby twins, a clear as day crossdressing transvestite and some woman in a SCREAM mask holding a giant sewer rat.
Diana trying to hold back her laughter. “That is… your family?”
Gordy smiles proudly. “Yep, that’s them. We may not have it all but we have one thing that matters…”
Diana is still in shock. “Um. Pride? Love? Respect for one an other?”
Gordy laughs “NO! We actually OWN the home phone prop Drew Barrymore actually uses in the first Scream movie. It’s our most valuable possession. That’s what matters… you ever see that flick?”
“I might have…”
“Hell of a picture, Diana. Hell of a picture. But that’s us. Like us. Hate us. We’re just who we are… a loving bunch. We’re The STRAYTERS…”
Diana turns around to Gordy dramatically shocked. “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!??! You’re last name is Strader?”
“NOOOOO! Stray-TER! STRAY-TER! It’s a big difference… get it right. I hate it when people get us mixed up and don’t understand the Strayter life long story, ya know? It’s like my twin sisters. Valerie and Velma. One is a LESBIAN! The other? NOT-A- LESBIAN!! Get it right? Don’t be so low brow about things… you’re better than that…”
Diana laughs “All In Character Bro…”
Gordy looks confused. “Huh?”
Diana smirks. “Just thinking about this All IC Bro. Because this is ALL. IN. CHARACTER. BRO! Right?”
Diana breaks the fourth wall again, winking into the ‘camera’ as Gordy looks confused at what she is staring at.
“Does that dog have diarrhea again?”
“Look… I am gonna be around Florida for the next few weeks, months. Who knows. But I am willing to listen to your STRAY-TER story. I won’t judge. I just want to know what YOU are all about… so here’s my new cell number…”
Diana jots down her number on a FISH HEADS flyer and stuffs it into Gordy’s Fish Heads short collar uniform.
“Give me a ring a ding when you get a chance…”
“Cool. Thanks Diana. We’ll get together soon…”
Diana takes one more look at Gordy’s family of Strayters still in shock. She then exits through the side entrance as Gordy stares at Diana’s number. He smiles looking up at his family of Strayters, who happily wave to him. He returns the wave to them before blowing a stream of snot on the floor as he heads back to the kitchen.
Opening on a shot inside FISH HEADS restaurant. We see an upset Fish Head’s employee. This is Gordy. He’s unpleasant as he was forced to work the counter/cashier and not his usual position; Fryer/Griller in the back. Hair net and beard net on. Gordy takes the family’s order that is standing in front of him..
“Fish Head Family Combo Eh-Sap!. Next in line please… next… NEXT!”
“You didn’t do the song and jig, Gordon.”
“That’s DIANA F’N WATTS!
Gordy recognizes the women’s voice and looks up to see former Fish Heads employee and now OCW superstar, his old friend, Diana Watts standing in front of him.
“How have you been, chicka? I’ve seen you in OCW! Few wins, few loses… living the dream anyway! Diana Clock! Love it! Dreams do come true… Am I right?”
“Oh you know it, Gordy… it’s been a dream and a nightmare to behonest. But things are going to change. It’s a NEW year. It’s a NEW DIana. And with my SMALL assist of scaring off MOST of the Straders from Twitter last year. And seeing the… Vero-... um, Victor… um. THE LESBIAN Strader leaving OCW for what I hope is forever. It’s time for me to finally get back out there and speak my mind. Be myself… be me for the first time ever. So ANYWAY… I am in the city of Key West, Florida for my OCW Massacre match this week… “
“Oh yea? Who ya’ facing? Big Bifford? Harmon Egan? The OCW Champion, PIC again? Huh?”
Diana smirks.
“Nah. Have an easy one this week. Someone named ‘ALL IC BRO”.
“Oh… him…?”
Diana laughs.
“No don’t worry. I don’t have the slightest idea who he is either. Hell the ‘I.C’ could stand for anything. All Ice Cream Bro? All Indy Competitor Bro? All Itty-Bitty Cock Bro?”
Gordy laughs and shouts “All Indigenous CUM Bro! Ha ha!” Getting the attention of everyone inside the restaurant. Diana and Gordy look around awkwardly.
“Get it, Diana?”
“... I do. I do get it, Gordy. Good one. But I’m pretty sure THAT’S not it. I'm sure it’s something like ek ALL IN CHARACTER BRO!”
“In Character? What does that even mean… isn’t this always ‘I.C’ since it’s real life…”
Gordy and Diana look into the camera and break the fourth wall. Gordy smiles and winks as Diana looks disgusted but with a little bit of a smile…
CUT TO
They are actually looking out the window where a German Shepard is squatting over taking a crap in the parking lot.
“That’s a HUGE dump dog, Diana…”
“I think that dog eats too much beef… ANYWAY… I am in Florida going into Massacre planning my biggest and most important promo of my career… when I run into Fish Heads to use the bathroom. Number one by the way, I know you’re wondering…”
Gordy makes the ‘aw shucks’ look ‘You got me, Diana. You know me so well…”
“I know… I know. And there I see my old Fish Heads lunch and smoke break buddy, Gordy… and I just had to say hello. I was thinking after you get off work. We can catch up. Get a beer, coffee, meal, whatever floats your boat… talk about if you’re still spitting in the Frosty Machine. Or sticking cold french fries into many of your holes before tossing them in the fryer. Or the time we came in hung over and we through up over that old lady’s fries before serving her and told her it was a special chilli fry topping ON THE HOUSE! And she ATE IT… ALL! Haha. Good times… Oh man! I wanna catch up… what do you say?”
“I WOULD love to but…”
Diana looks disappointed. “Dude… c'mon. I'm paying...”
“I have some family stuff I need to take care of, you know? Oh look here they come now…”
Gordy points to the entrance of the FISH HEADS restaurant. Diana turns around to spot a bunch of trailer trashy folks exiting an old Trans Am Car like circus clowns out of a tiny car. A big elderly woman, two blonde chubby twins, a clear as day crossdressing transvestite and some woman in a SCREAM mask holding a giant sewer rat.
Diana trying to hold back her laughter. “That is… your family?”
Gordy smiles proudly. “Yep, that’s them. We may not have it all but we have one thing that matters…”
Diana is still in shock. “Um. Pride? Love? Respect for one an other?”
Gordy laughs “NO! We actually OWN the home phone prop Drew Barrymore actually uses in the first Scream movie. It’s our most valuable possession. That’s what matters… you ever see that flick?”
“I might have…”
“Hell of a picture, Diana. Hell of a picture. But that’s us. Like us. Hate us. We’re just who we are… a loving bunch. We’re The STRAYTERS…”
Diana turns around to Gordy dramatically shocked. “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!??! You’re last name is Strader?”
“NOOOOO! Stray-TER! STRAY-TER! It’s a big difference… get it right. I hate it when people get us mixed up and don’t understand the Strayter life long story, ya know? It’s like my twin sisters. Valerie and Velma. One is a LESBIAN! The other? NOT-A- LESBIAN!! Get it right? Don’t be so low brow about things… you’re better than that…”
Diana laughs “All In Character Bro…”
Gordy looks confused. “Huh?”
Diana smirks. “Just thinking about this All IC Bro. Because this is ALL. IN. CHARACTER. BRO! Right?”
Diana breaks the fourth wall again, winking into the ‘camera’ as Gordy looks confused at what she is staring at.
“Does that dog have diarrhea again?”
“Look… I am gonna be around Florida for the next few weeks, months. Who knows. But I am willing to listen to your STRAY-TER story. I won’t judge. I just want to know what YOU are all about… so here’s my new cell number…”
Diana jots down her number on a FISH HEADS flyer and stuffs it into Gordy’s Fish Heads short collar uniform.
“Give me a ring a ding when you get a chance…”
“Cool. Thanks Diana. We’ll get together soon…”
Diana takes one more look at Gordy’s family of Strayters still in shock. She then exits through the side entrance as Gordy stares at Diana’s number. He smiles looking up at his family of Strayters, who happily wave to him. He returns the wave to them before blowing a stream of snot on the floor as he heads back to the kitchen.
All IC Bro? You’re the first one to be stepped on during the resurgence that is the DIANA WATTS CLOCK. It’s ticking down. I am sorry your debut has to be crushed by me. But someone needs to be the first wrestler of 2023 that OCW sends out the WATTS after. This is an easy one. And it will get harder from here on out for me. But the fact remains. This is a new year. A fresh start for everyone. But better yet… a NON- Strader OCW… 2023 is going to be great. And it all starts this Monday when I kick this guys ass… TICK TOCK! TICK TOCK!