Post by The Nickleman on Sept 5, 2022 7:52:13 GMT -5
The following press release from OCW personality 'The Nickleman' was deemed "too hot for twitter", and as such, is being sent as a voice message to every OCW wrestler from a spam cellphone number. A leaked version has been reprinted in it's entirety here on 4chan's very own /OCDUB:
"Like the big boss man told you fuckers already, he's not going to be on Massacre tonight. He has some personal, familial business to attend to. I can respect that, because I too am a Family Man. But Thaddeus's little hoothang, Sahara, she can't afford to take a vacation day tonight. She's got a god damned title shot on the line! And without a strong man like Thad around here to watch her back, well then fuck, how are we going to make sure none of you idiots come out from the back and try to interfere? I know most of you scumrats wish you were her, wish you were a Duke: I bet some of you pieces of shit are already thinking of ways to fuck Sahara over, knowing that Mr. Duke ain't gonna be here to keep things tidy.
Well fuck, I guess that's where I come in, ain't it? When I got the call from Thad asking me to come into this company he wanted to know if I'd have his back. I told him sure, why not, that could be fun for a bit. Or maybe I didn't tell him that, but I definitely thought it. Either way, since Thaddeus won't be here tonight I'm going to have to step up and make sure that none of you sick sons of bitches try to kidnap Sahara Duke, because apparently that's happening in his family now! You sick sons of bitches over in OCW, kidnapping children and shit, what the fuck are you doing with kidnapped children? What does anyone do with kidnapped children? Just think on that for a second, you sick bastards. I'm here with Duke to put an end to this kind of nonsense, and to make sure no one tries to pull a Frankie on pretty little Sahara!
So boys, don't even think about interfering tonight. I'll be standing there in the gorilla with my trusty 2x4 and a handful of vicodin, so if any of you shitbrained motherfuckers try to stick your noses in Sahara's business I'll have to come out and teach you a thing or two about a thing or two!"
"Like the big boss man told you fuckers already, he's not going to be on Massacre tonight. He has some personal, familial business to attend to. I can respect that, because I too am a Family Man. But Thaddeus's little hoothang, Sahara, she can't afford to take a vacation day tonight. She's got a god damned title shot on the line! And without a strong man like Thad around here to watch her back, well then fuck, how are we going to make sure none of you idiots come out from the back and try to interfere? I know most of you scumrats wish you were her, wish you were a Duke: I bet some of you pieces of shit are already thinking of ways to fuck Sahara over, knowing that Mr. Duke ain't gonna be here to keep things tidy.
Well fuck, I guess that's where I come in, ain't it? When I got the call from Thad asking me to come into this company he wanted to know if I'd have his back. I told him sure, why not, that could be fun for a bit. Or maybe I didn't tell him that, but I definitely thought it. Either way, since Thaddeus won't be here tonight I'm going to have to step up and make sure that none of you sick sons of bitches try to kidnap Sahara Duke, because apparently that's happening in his family now! You sick sons of bitches over in OCW, kidnapping children and shit, what the fuck are you doing with kidnapped children? What does anyone do with kidnapped children? Just think on that for a second, you sick bastards. I'm here with Duke to put an end to this kind of nonsense, and to make sure no one tries to pull a Frankie on pretty little Sahara!
So boys, don't even think about interfering tonight. I'll be standing there in the gorilla with my trusty 2x4 and a handful of vicodin, so if any of you shitbrained motherfuckers try to stick your noses in Sahara's business I'll have to come out and teach you a thing or two about a thing or two!"