Post by Lord Allton on May 10, 2022 17:37:36 GMT -5
It’s a few hours before the show and Lord Allton is sitting at his makeshift office desk out in Djibouti (seriously when are we getting home?) doing paperwork and getting things ready for the next Tuesday Night Equality, when there is a knock at the office door.
Allton: Enter!
The door opens and there stands Vincenzo Larossia looking confused.
Allton: Vinnie, what can I do for you?
Vincenzo: Uh… boss? There’s a guy outside. He said he’s a new member of the Equality Roster……
Allton: What…? I don’t remember signing anyone new?
Vincenzo: So I’ll tell him to get lost then, huh?
Allton: No, no…. Send him in. At the very least, I would like to get this straightened out.
Vincenzo shrugs.
Vincenzo: Oi! You. The boss’ll see you now!
Allton patiently waits for the newest signee to enter. And that’s when The Dirtbag Kid enters the room, barging in even as he hops in a circular motion giving the entire world(or just this room) the ‘suck it’ crotch chops. Tongue sticking out, yelling as he’s a bundle of nearly limitless energy. Allton moves around from his desk with his hand out. Vincenzo shakes his head, unimpressed and shuts the door.
Allton: Hello. Lord Allton. Ohh… **Ahem**
Allton takes one look at the man standing in front of him who is pulling a giant energy drink can out of what looks like the groin of his jeans, and Allton has thoughts of taking his hand away, but out of British politeness does EVERYTHING in his power not to.
Allton: ….And what may we call you? It’s funny, I don’t remember signing anybody. Who did you speak to?
dBk: An’ I don’t remember that stripper I banged five years ago havin’ a dick, but I still have to sit on my side sometimes! RHAAAAAAAGH!
His yell is accompanied by him suddenly dropping into a horse stance, to give Allton a now one-handed crotch chop before he spins around to share it with the world. One handed because he’s shaking up that energy drink can, and opening and drinking it even as it fizzes around wildly. Soon he returns to an upright stance, and turns to face Allton again.
dBk: Thank you again for this opportunity Mister Alvin, I don’t plan on chipmunking this chance away. My new years resolution this week was to try to stop burning bridges, which means you’re my first challenge on my road to success or whatever. I’d shake your hand and cry right now, ‘cept I ain’t NO PUSSY BITCH, RHAAAAAGH!
Another ‘suck it’ circular stance. Allton looks perplexed but does his best to hide it.
Allton: It’s ‘Allton’ and ‘Lord’ but ugh……never mind. Anyway, quite… so, your name?
The goateed man crushes his drink after finishing it, tossing it aside with a belch even as he pulls nunchucks from under his American Football jersey. He yells as he swings them Bruce Lee style.
dBk: Oh you already know I’m that D that B and that K, biitch, the original Dimebag, the Ballpark Frank with his Two Schweaty Fellas! You know it’s me, I s-s-said it’s me, It’s that “Dirt…Bag…Kid!”
He stands to the side, speaking in anticipation of the crowd watching on the Titantron chanting in unison with him. One in every hundred actually remembers some of that, but nobody remembers all of it. But dBK looks very pleased with himself, nodding and inhaling through his nose proudly.
Allton writes it down on a piece of paper nearby.
Allton: Dirtbag Kid….right….well I don’t know who OK’d it, but I need talent. Welcome to the show. You’ll be there in a few hours. Thanks. You may go now…um DBK. I would shake your hand, but……
Allton smiles, gesturing to the door. Meanwhile, dBk is busy celebrating, twirling those nunchucks so hard that he smacks something off of a shelf but doesn’t notice. Eventually when he calms down enough, he nods and pounds his chest with his fist twice, before giving a ‘peace’ hand signal toward Allton.
dBk: Shit is looking up for me now, baby, I got everything I ever wanted. I’ll never give that back! Peace out, BITCH! RHAAAAGHSSSsssSUCKIT!
dBk gives one more ‘suck it’ party for the room (even though it is only Allton) before finally taking his leave and walking as if he’s dancing in rhythm to some sort of beat. Maybe he’s listening to earbuds? Vincenzo shows up a few seconds after DBK leaves.
Vincenzo: So….?
Allton: He’s downright disgusting, Vinnie. Ugh, I need to wash my hands and shower. When did the wrestling world get so….classless?
Allton heads into the en-suite bathroom (disabled bathrooms can be anywhere) and vigorously cleans his hands.
Vincenzo: I dunno, boss. I’ll kick his head in if you want?
Allton smirks as he emerges back into his office drying his hands with a towel.
Allton: That’s what I love about you Vinnie. Always the faithful one. But no, it’s not necessary. Uhh….please send in Marcy if you wouldn’t mind?
Vincenzo: Ya got it.
Allton nods his thanks as Vincenzo shuts the door again. Allton gets his phone out to call his personal support worker Bill.
Allton: Bill? I’m glad you’ve managed to make it out to Djibouti……. Please come to my office. I need to shower.
We fade out.
=================================
The Equality titles run and we open on Lissandra Thomas’s grinning face.
Lissandra: Good evening everyone and welcome to Episode 10 of Tuesday Night Equality. Tonight’s episode is a landmark episode. Because tonight is the tenth time that Equality has been on a Tuesday and thus in 100% control of Lord Allton. True, he was brought in on episode four of Monday Night Equality but it wasn’t until we officially switched to Tuesdays that Equality really came into its own.
Lissandra smiles again into the camera and a message comes through her earpiece.
Lissandra: We’ve got a hell of a night ahead of us as Marcy The Head Mistress goes one on one with new signee DBK who we’ve just seen from footage from earlier tonight. I hope Rob washed his hands…. I uh……. Oh hold on one second! Yes. Yes, boss. Yes, I’ll tell them. Later on tonight everyone, we have a medical update from Whisper Mendoza! And tonight’s main event is ‘The Distinguished’ CJ O’Donnell against BOTH teams of Tuff N’ Nuff and The Viagra Boys who are now, it seems, in the employ of Jade Spritz and her new partner Carmen. What a night it’s going to be! And speaking of Carmen, she’s up next in her match with the monster of Equality that is Marta Grimes. Let’s take it to Belv! Belv?
Belvedere nods and clears his throat.
Belvedere: On her way to the ring, this is Carmen!
The crowd begins to boo, hating Carmen for what she’s done recently and now that she’s joined forces with Jade Spritz. Carmen wanders out, head held high, nose in the air and climbs into the ring.
Belvedere: And her opponent, from Omaha, Nebraska…. weighing in at 196lbs, she is one half of Lord Allton’s personal security force here on Tuesday Night Equality…this! Is Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaartaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Griiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimes!
The mood immediately shifts. While people were not sure of her intentions initially the fact that she aided Matsuda in saving Whisper Mendoza last week, the OCW Faithful now love Marta Grimes! True to who SHE is however, she ignores the cheers. Grimes isn’t here to be cheered or jeered - she’s here to make money, in the personal employ of Lord Allton. Grimes climbs into the ring and stares a hole through Carmen as Scruff rings the bell. Carmen cockily mouths off at Grimes who mouths back, saying that Carmen should keep her mouth shut until she beats her.
Lissandra: A fair point from Marta there. Carmen never has defeated Marta Grimes since Grimes has showed up here in OCW and they’ve had about three or four outings now. Ooh! Grimes obviously starting out strong here!
Grimes takes Carmen down quickly with a hard hitting clothesline, much to the OCW Faithful’s delight. Immediately, Marta picks Carmen up in a gorilla press and throws Carmen out of the ring, with Grimes giving Carmen no chance to breathe or recover as she picks her up and bullrushes her into the barricade which the crowd absolutely adore. Marta then picks Carmen up and bullrushes her again, this time into the ring apron!
Lissandra: Marta Grimes is a force of nature to be sure. But there’s something extra tonight.
As Scruff nears a ten count, Marta Grimes glares at him and rolls Carmen into the ring. Scruff stops counting at 9.
Lissandra: I don’t think that Scruff would have been very popular with Marta Grimes tonight if he had counted her out.
Carmen is out on her feet but this doesn’t deter Grimes obviously, as she gets Carmen into a powerbomb position. The OCW Faithful cheer loudly when Grimes sends Carmen down with a huge powerbomb! The OCW Faithful chant ‘one more time!’ and, in a rare moment of humanitarianism, Grimes nods with a smirk and sends Carmen crashing down again. The OCW Faithful then chant ‘Mis-ery! Mis-ery!’ And no that isn’t a reference to the Stephen King novel nor is it a reference to the 1990 movie based on said novel. The OCW Faithful are calling for Grimes' devastating finisher -Marta’s Misery (Glam Slam/Jaded) and she hits it! Scruff slides in! 1……2……3!!!!!!
Belvedere: Here is your winner…..Maaaaaaaaaaaartaaaaaaaaaa Grimes!!!!!!!!!!
Lissandra: Marta Grimes coming out with the win in the series between her and Carmen again. Ooh! Hold on, we need to head backstage right now!
—-------------------------
We abruptly cut backstage to a very angry Marcy The Head Mistress trashing the office of Lord Allton.
Allton: Marcy, please!
Marcy: DON’T YOU DARE ‘Marcy’ me, mister!
She crumples up pieces of paper on Allton’s desk and shoves them on the floor.
Allton: Marcy, please! Please just listen…
Marcy grabs hold of Allton’s laptop and edges it towards the edge of the desk!
Marcy: Let me get this straight….FIRST, YOU HAVE ME LOSE THE O.O.C TITLE to TONY THE FUCKING SPIDER of all people on the island and now you want me to have a match with this Dirtbag? I deserve better!!
Marcy holds the laptop precariously in her hands and Allton screams for her to put the laptop down!
Allton: OK! OK! You do! You do deserve better! You have been one of my standout athletes on Equality since joining.
Marcy pauses to listen.
Marcy: …..Uh-huh….and?
Allton: And…and if you do this favour for me tonight, I’ll get you a rematch for the O.O.C title…….?
Marcy: Uh…huh………?
Marcy goes to put the laptop back on the desk but she doesn’t quite do so yet properly. Allton thinks quickly.
Allton: And….and regardless of your title match rematch, you can have Tony The Spider next week on Equality?
Marcy: Go….on?
Allton: I don’t know what else to give you...?
Marcy: Hmmm I want……Another chance at scoring Gilbert……
Allton: What? Why?
Marcy slides the laptop towards the edge of the desk again and Allton puts his hand on it.
Allton: OK! Done.
Marcy: And after next week, I want the next three Equalitys off. It’s my birthday coming up and I wanna celebrate big time. Y’know what I’m saying?
Allton hastily nods.
Allton: Anything else?
Marcy: Ummmm no.
Marcy slides Allton’s laptop onto the desk where it safely won’t fall.
Marcy: Thanks, honey. You’re the best.
Marcy leaves the office of Lord Allton with a wink as Allton breathes a heavy sigh of relief and we fade out, back to Lissandra.
—----------------------
Lissandra: Uh fans, it’s Marcy the Head Mistress vs DBK - and it’s next!
Belvedere: The following contest is for one fall!
Faithful: One Fall!
Belvedere: From…uh…from White Trash, USA….weighing in at 175lbs, he is making his Equality debut tonight…..please welcome, The Dirt Bag Kid!
Initially the OCW Faithful cheer the young upstart but then they hear What ‘Chu Lookin’ At by Uncle Kracker. And they can tell this man is going to be an asshole. And they are right because DBK comes out to boos and genuine hatred. He sticks his tongue out and proceeds to do the ‘Ssssssssssssuck it!’ motion. He drinks an energy drink on the way, belching and disrespecting his way all the while. And he wears a face mask in such a way that it will not help anybody - around his throat.
Lissandra: This is Equality’s newest star?
Belvedere: And his opponent, From St. Paul, Minnesota, weighing in at 150lbs……The. Head. Mistress!!
Bad Girls by MIA blasts out and Marcy makes her way to the stage looking absolutely disgusted. DBK however is beside himself with excitement and constantly doing the Ssssssssssssuck it motion as Marcy makes her way into the ring. She nods at Scruff who rings the bell.
The two walk to the centre of the ring with DBK mouthing off saying how hot he thinks that Marcy is and that she should SSSSSSssssssssssssssssssssuck it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like literally. Marcy however looks like she is going to hurl up her guts as she grabs hold of DBK’s head and sends him down with the Real Hummer!!!!!!!!!
Lissandra: The Real Hummer!!!!!!! Oh thank god!
Now, though, Marcy looks confused. She knows she’s got to pin him, but doesn’t want to touch DBK again. Scruff leans in and says that if she wants the win, she’s gotta do it.
Lissandra: Come on, Marcy girl! Take one for the team.
Marcy shrugs and makes the cover. Scruff mercifully makes it a quick count. Marcy immediately stands up and leaves the ring. Potentially to have a shower. Or fifty.
Lissandra: Up next, guys and girls is our main event of CJ O’Donnell vs both Tuff N’ Nuff and the Viagra Boys! But first we have a word from Whisper Mendoza. We’ll be back after this short break.
—------------------------------------------------
Lissandra: Welcome back fans. Now, we have managed to get a satellite link up with Whisper Mendoza who is live from her hospital bed, in downtown Djibouti! Whisper, how are you feeling?
We cut to Whisper Mendoza who is sitting up in a hospital bed with pillows behind her. She smiles to the camera and the Faithful cheer.
Whisper: Hi Lissandra. **Something inaudible**
Lissandra: I’m sorry?
Whisper: I said I’m fine.
Lissandra: Well, that’s great news. Now it’s been said that Mike Zybala wants you at his next Dystopia show against none other than Roxxie G. How do you feel about that?
Whisper: I think that it’s **Something inaudible** and I’m sure hoping to be **Something inaudible**.
Lissandra: Whisper, I’m sorry. I think the audio is bad on our end.
Whisper replies but we cannot hear her at all.
Lissandra: It’s fantastic that you’re looking so well and we can’t wait to have you back on Equality. But I’m sorry Whisper I think we’re having audio issues again. I couldn’t hear you at all.
Whisper smiles, and nods her head and goes to repeat what she said previously.
Lissandra: Whisper, we’ll have to leave it there, I’m sorry. Take care!
Whisper nods and waves to the camera as the feed cuts out. Lissandra holds her finger to her ear again.
Lissandra: Hmm, I’m being told that there were in fact no audio issues - how strange! Anyway after this short break it’s our main event. We’ll be back after this!
—--------------------------------------------
We arrive back to find Lord Allton in his office. His support worker Bill, brings him a cup of tea.
Allton: Thank-you, Bill. How is Allton House?
Bill: It’s fine. Jefferson and I are keeping the place running.
Allton: Well, I’m glad you were able to get a flight out to Djibouti. You haven’t worked for me for ages.
Allton smirks when there is a knock at the door. It’s Jade Spritz.
Allton: Excuse me, dear boy.
Bill: Yeah of course.
Bill leaves the office and Spritz looks on after him.
Spritz: Well… well…well… Now who is that tall, handsome drink of water? I could definitely become thirsty for THAT…
Allton: Miss Spritz, are you here because you want something or are you here to oggle my personal staff?
Spritz: Can’t I do both?
Allton raises an eyebrow unimpressed.
Spritz: OK. OK. I just came to tell you to keep an eye on what my boys do to CJ tonight. Because they are going to badly fuck him up. I mean 4on1? How can anyone survive those odds?
Allton: Yes, I’m sure your crew you’ve amassed will do just fine.
Spritz: They will!
Allton: Alright then.
Spritz: You just wait and see!
Allton: I’ll be waiting.
Spritz: I’m telling you.
Allton sighs, growing bored.
Allton: Miss Spritz… Look, do you actually REQUIRE anything? Anything at all?
Jade Spritz looks at Allton and shakes her head.
Allton: Then I’m sorry, I’m very busy.
He gestures towards the door.
Spritz: You know, you’re kinda cute yourself - especially when you’re angry.
Allton: I’m sorry….?
Spritz: Oh no, you don’t need to apologise to me. Someone like you, someone in your position…. I could make you dance.
Allton: Well I don’t know if you’ve noticed my predicament but I’m not really in the position to do much dancing. Now, that will be all.
Jade Spritz leans into Allton and is about to whisper something in his ear when Roxxie Gobbler wanders into the office.
Roxxie: Hey Rob… they didn’t have any cans of Pepsi I’m afraid, so I got 7UP - your second favourite. HEY! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!!
Allton: Miss Spritz was just leaving.
Spritz: Suuuuure I was.
Jade Spritz walks round to the office door and goes to tap Roxxie on the shoulder but Roxxie jerks away.
Spritz: Touchy, aren’t we? I’ll see you soon boss. Think about what I said.
Roxxie slams the door and sits herself up on Allton’s desk.
Roxxie: What DID she say?
Allton rolls his eyes with a sigh as we fade out back to Lissandra.
—------------------------------------------------
Lissandra: Just before our main event fans CJ O’Donnell has a few words for his opponents tonight.
CJ ODonnell: So tonight I have to face four of you. I can face the entire roster and the outcome will be the same. I will always win. I am The Distinguished. I am the one everyone pays to see. What did Jade bang these four losers and now they want to show her loyalty. FOOK them. They can continue to run the train on her. This is not going to be pretty. So go ahead and ring the bell but to the four of you I am gonna say this only once. Sooner than later Jade is going to run out of holes and everyone in the back already got a turn even Gilbert!
Lissandra: Ohhh kay. Well despite the words being vulgar, I’m not sure I can disagree, given what we saw transpire before the break. I however know Lord Allton and he certainly would not pay attention to anything Jade Spritz has to say. Except on a professional level. And speaking of Spritz her new crew - minus Carmen - are standing in the ring. Belv?
Kings Never Die by Eminem hits the speakers and ‘The Distinguished’ CJ O’Donnell saunters his way to the ring, smirking at the four in the ring. Jade Spritz mouths off at CJ but he just throws up a finger her way. CJ climbs into the ring and the two tag teams are talking tactics. Puff rings the bell and immediately CJ launches an attack on the Viagra Boys. He takes them out of commission with an Irish Knowledge each. Tuff N’ Nuff are too stunned to move.
Spritz: Get the fuck in there, you stupid fuckers!
Tuff N’ Nuff rush CJ but CJ is too quick with a punch to the ribs of Tuff and a roundhouse kick to Nuff. Jade Spritz holds her head in her hands and CJ looks over at her with another smirk. He sends Nuff to the outside before grabbing hold of Tuff. CJ lays into Tuff with three knees in the corner and he then heads outside to retrieve Nuff. Spritz meanwhile is banging on the apron in an attempt to wake up the Viagras, but they’re out. CJ whips Nuff into the barricade and then looks back in the ring to see where his other three opponents are. He sees Tuff stumbling out of the corner so heads back into the ring to batter Tuff senseless with a LOT of grounded punches. So much so that Tuff is now busted open.
CJ: You fooking pussies. And not like HER rotten one either.
The camera briefly cuts to Spritz who is not happy. CJ continues to batter on Tuff when he sees Nuff and the Viagras start to stir.
CJ: Fooking finally….
CJ smirks as he forces both Viagra boys into the corners and then he does the same with Tuff N’ Nuff. CJ then stands in the centre of the ring looking around at all four of his opponents.
Lissandra: CJ…. looking like he’s picking and choosing something here…..
CJ then sprints towards Tuff and smacks him with the Irish Knowledge! He then sprints to the opposite corner doing the same to Nuff. Finally he does the same to both Viagra Boys and then piles them all up in a heap in the centre of the ring. He lays one foot on them as Puff counts! 1……….2………3!!!!
Lissandra: Wow! What a match! Fans, we're out of time. We’ll see you next time!
Allton: Enter!
The door opens and there stands Vincenzo Larossia looking confused.
Allton: Vinnie, what can I do for you?
Vincenzo: Uh… boss? There’s a guy outside. He said he’s a new member of the Equality Roster……
Allton: What…? I don’t remember signing anyone new?
Vincenzo: So I’ll tell him to get lost then, huh?
Allton: No, no…. Send him in. At the very least, I would like to get this straightened out.
Vincenzo shrugs.
Vincenzo: Oi! You. The boss’ll see you now!
Allton patiently waits for the newest signee to enter. And that’s when The Dirtbag Kid enters the room, barging in even as he hops in a circular motion giving the entire world(or just this room) the ‘suck it’ crotch chops. Tongue sticking out, yelling as he’s a bundle of nearly limitless energy. Allton moves around from his desk with his hand out. Vincenzo shakes his head, unimpressed and shuts the door.
Allton: Hello. Lord Allton. Ohh… **Ahem**
Allton takes one look at the man standing in front of him who is pulling a giant energy drink can out of what looks like the groin of his jeans, and Allton has thoughts of taking his hand away, but out of British politeness does EVERYTHING in his power not to.
Allton: ….And what may we call you? It’s funny, I don’t remember signing anybody. Who did you speak to?
dBk: An’ I don’t remember that stripper I banged five years ago havin’ a dick, but I still have to sit on my side sometimes! RHAAAAAAAGH!
His yell is accompanied by him suddenly dropping into a horse stance, to give Allton a now one-handed crotch chop before he spins around to share it with the world. One handed because he’s shaking up that energy drink can, and opening and drinking it even as it fizzes around wildly. Soon he returns to an upright stance, and turns to face Allton again.
dBk: Thank you again for this opportunity Mister Alvin, I don’t plan on chipmunking this chance away. My new years resolution this week was to try to stop burning bridges, which means you’re my first challenge on my road to success or whatever. I’d shake your hand and cry right now, ‘cept I ain’t NO PUSSY BITCH, RHAAAAAGH!
Another ‘suck it’ circular stance. Allton looks perplexed but does his best to hide it.
Allton: It’s ‘Allton’ and ‘Lord’ but ugh……never mind. Anyway, quite… so, your name?
The goateed man crushes his drink after finishing it, tossing it aside with a belch even as he pulls nunchucks from under his American Football jersey. He yells as he swings them Bruce Lee style.
dBk: Oh you already know I’m that D that B and that K, biitch, the original Dimebag, the Ballpark Frank with his Two Schweaty Fellas! You know it’s me, I s-s-said it’s me, It’s that “Dirt…Bag…Kid!”
He stands to the side, speaking in anticipation of the crowd watching on the Titantron chanting in unison with him. One in every hundred actually remembers some of that, but nobody remembers all of it. But dBK looks very pleased with himself, nodding and inhaling through his nose proudly.
Allton writes it down on a piece of paper nearby.
Allton: Dirtbag Kid….right….well I don’t know who OK’d it, but I need talent. Welcome to the show. You’ll be there in a few hours. Thanks. You may go now…um DBK. I would shake your hand, but……
Allton smiles, gesturing to the door. Meanwhile, dBk is busy celebrating, twirling those nunchucks so hard that he smacks something off of a shelf but doesn’t notice. Eventually when he calms down enough, he nods and pounds his chest with his fist twice, before giving a ‘peace’ hand signal toward Allton.
dBk: Shit is looking up for me now, baby, I got everything I ever wanted. I’ll never give that back! Peace out, BITCH! RHAAAAGHSSSsssSUCKIT!
dBk gives one more ‘suck it’ party for the room (even though it is only Allton) before finally taking his leave and walking as if he’s dancing in rhythm to some sort of beat. Maybe he’s listening to earbuds? Vincenzo shows up a few seconds after DBK leaves.
Vincenzo: So….?
Allton: He’s downright disgusting, Vinnie. Ugh, I need to wash my hands and shower. When did the wrestling world get so….classless?
Allton heads into the en-suite bathroom (disabled bathrooms can be anywhere) and vigorously cleans his hands.
Vincenzo: I dunno, boss. I’ll kick his head in if you want?
Allton smirks as he emerges back into his office drying his hands with a towel.
Allton: That’s what I love about you Vinnie. Always the faithful one. But no, it’s not necessary. Uhh….please send in Marcy if you wouldn’t mind?
Vincenzo: Ya got it.
Allton nods his thanks as Vincenzo shuts the door again. Allton gets his phone out to call his personal support worker Bill.
Allton: Bill? I’m glad you’ve managed to make it out to Djibouti……. Please come to my office. I need to shower.
We fade out.
=================================
The Equality titles run and we open on Lissandra Thomas’s grinning face.
Lissandra: Good evening everyone and welcome to Episode 10 of Tuesday Night Equality. Tonight’s episode is a landmark episode. Because tonight is the tenth time that Equality has been on a Tuesday and thus in 100% control of Lord Allton. True, he was brought in on episode four of Monday Night Equality but it wasn’t until we officially switched to Tuesdays that Equality really came into its own.
Lissandra smiles again into the camera and a message comes through her earpiece.
Lissandra: We’ve got a hell of a night ahead of us as Marcy The Head Mistress goes one on one with new signee DBK who we’ve just seen from footage from earlier tonight. I hope Rob washed his hands…. I uh……. Oh hold on one second! Yes. Yes, boss. Yes, I’ll tell them. Later on tonight everyone, we have a medical update from Whisper Mendoza! And tonight’s main event is ‘The Distinguished’ CJ O’Donnell against BOTH teams of Tuff N’ Nuff and The Viagra Boys who are now, it seems, in the employ of Jade Spritz and her new partner Carmen. What a night it’s going to be! And speaking of Carmen, she’s up next in her match with the monster of Equality that is Marta Grimes. Let’s take it to Belv! Belv?
Belvedere nods and clears his throat.
Belvedere: On her way to the ring, this is Carmen!
The crowd begins to boo, hating Carmen for what she’s done recently and now that she’s joined forces with Jade Spritz. Carmen wanders out, head held high, nose in the air and climbs into the ring.
Belvedere: And her opponent, from Omaha, Nebraska…. weighing in at 196lbs, she is one half of Lord Allton’s personal security force here on Tuesday Night Equality…this! Is Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaartaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Griiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimes!
The mood immediately shifts. While people were not sure of her intentions initially the fact that she aided Matsuda in saving Whisper Mendoza last week, the OCW Faithful now love Marta Grimes! True to who SHE is however, she ignores the cheers. Grimes isn’t here to be cheered or jeered - she’s here to make money, in the personal employ of Lord Allton. Grimes climbs into the ring and stares a hole through Carmen as Scruff rings the bell. Carmen cockily mouths off at Grimes who mouths back, saying that Carmen should keep her mouth shut until she beats her.
Lissandra: A fair point from Marta there. Carmen never has defeated Marta Grimes since Grimes has showed up here in OCW and they’ve had about three or four outings now. Ooh! Grimes obviously starting out strong here!
Grimes takes Carmen down quickly with a hard hitting clothesline, much to the OCW Faithful’s delight. Immediately, Marta picks Carmen up in a gorilla press and throws Carmen out of the ring, with Grimes giving Carmen no chance to breathe or recover as she picks her up and bullrushes her into the barricade which the crowd absolutely adore. Marta then picks Carmen up and bullrushes her again, this time into the ring apron!
Lissandra: Marta Grimes is a force of nature to be sure. But there’s something extra tonight.
As Scruff nears a ten count, Marta Grimes glares at him and rolls Carmen into the ring. Scruff stops counting at 9.
Lissandra: I don’t think that Scruff would have been very popular with Marta Grimes tonight if he had counted her out.
Carmen is out on her feet but this doesn’t deter Grimes obviously, as she gets Carmen into a powerbomb position. The OCW Faithful cheer loudly when Grimes sends Carmen down with a huge powerbomb! The OCW Faithful chant ‘one more time!’ and, in a rare moment of humanitarianism, Grimes nods with a smirk and sends Carmen crashing down again. The OCW Faithful then chant ‘Mis-ery! Mis-ery!’ And no that isn’t a reference to the Stephen King novel nor is it a reference to the 1990 movie based on said novel. The OCW Faithful are calling for Grimes' devastating finisher -Marta’s Misery (Glam Slam/Jaded) and she hits it! Scruff slides in! 1……2……3!!!!!!
Belvedere: Here is your winner…..Maaaaaaaaaaaartaaaaaaaaaa Grimes!!!!!!!!!!
Lissandra: Marta Grimes coming out with the win in the series between her and Carmen again. Ooh! Hold on, we need to head backstage right now!
—-------------------------
We abruptly cut backstage to a very angry Marcy The Head Mistress trashing the office of Lord Allton.
Allton: Marcy, please!
Marcy: DON’T YOU DARE ‘Marcy’ me, mister!
She crumples up pieces of paper on Allton’s desk and shoves them on the floor.
Allton: Marcy, please! Please just listen…
Marcy grabs hold of Allton’s laptop and edges it towards the edge of the desk!
Marcy: Let me get this straight….FIRST, YOU HAVE ME LOSE THE O.O.C TITLE to TONY THE FUCKING SPIDER of all people on the island and now you want me to have a match with this Dirtbag? I deserve better!!
Marcy holds the laptop precariously in her hands and Allton screams for her to put the laptop down!
Allton: OK! OK! You do! You do deserve better! You have been one of my standout athletes on Equality since joining.
Marcy pauses to listen.
Marcy: …..Uh-huh….and?
Allton: And…and if you do this favour for me tonight, I’ll get you a rematch for the O.O.C title…….?
Marcy: Uh…huh………?
Marcy goes to put the laptop back on the desk but she doesn’t quite do so yet properly. Allton thinks quickly.
Allton: And….and regardless of your title match rematch, you can have Tony The Spider next week on Equality?
Marcy: Go….on?
Allton: I don’t know what else to give you...?
Marcy: Hmmm I want……Another chance at scoring Gilbert……
Allton: What? Why?
Marcy slides the laptop towards the edge of the desk again and Allton puts his hand on it.
Allton: OK! Done.
Marcy: And after next week, I want the next three Equalitys off. It’s my birthday coming up and I wanna celebrate big time. Y’know what I’m saying?
Allton hastily nods.
Allton: Anything else?
Marcy: Ummmm no.
Marcy slides Allton’s laptop onto the desk where it safely won’t fall.
Marcy: Thanks, honey. You’re the best.
Marcy leaves the office of Lord Allton with a wink as Allton breathes a heavy sigh of relief and we fade out, back to Lissandra.
—----------------------
Lissandra: Uh fans, it’s Marcy the Head Mistress vs DBK - and it’s next!
Belvedere: The following contest is for one fall!
Faithful: One Fall!
Belvedere: From…uh…from White Trash, USA….weighing in at 175lbs, he is making his Equality debut tonight…..please welcome, The Dirt Bag Kid!
Initially the OCW Faithful cheer the young upstart but then they hear What ‘Chu Lookin’ At by Uncle Kracker. And they can tell this man is going to be an asshole. And they are right because DBK comes out to boos and genuine hatred. He sticks his tongue out and proceeds to do the ‘Ssssssssssssuck it!’ motion. He drinks an energy drink on the way, belching and disrespecting his way all the while. And he wears a face mask in such a way that it will not help anybody - around his throat.
Lissandra: This is Equality’s newest star?
Belvedere: And his opponent, From St. Paul, Minnesota, weighing in at 150lbs……The. Head. Mistress!!
Bad Girls by MIA blasts out and Marcy makes her way to the stage looking absolutely disgusted. DBK however is beside himself with excitement and constantly doing the Ssssssssssssuck it motion as Marcy makes her way into the ring. She nods at Scruff who rings the bell.
The two walk to the centre of the ring with DBK mouthing off saying how hot he thinks that Marcy is and that she should SSSSSSssssssssssssssssssssuck it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like literally. Marcy however looks like she is going to hurl up her guts as she grabs hold of DBK’s head and sends him down with the Real Hummer!!!!!!!!!
Lissandra: The Real Hummer!!!!!!! Oh thank god!
Now, though, Marcy looks confused. She knows she’s got to pin him, but doesn’t want to touch DBK again. Scruff leans in and says that if she wants the win, she’s gotta do it.
Lissandra: Come on, Marcy girl! Take one for the team.
Marcy shrugs and makes the cover. Scruff mercifully makes it a quick count. Marcy immediately stands up and leaves the ring. Potentially to have a shower. Or fifty.
Lissandra: Up next, guys and girls is our main event of CJ O’Donnell vs both Tuff N’ Nuff and the Viagra Boys! But first we have a word from Whisper Mendoza. We’ll be back after this short break.
—------------------------------------------------
Lissandra: Welcome back fans. Now, we have managed to get a satellite link up with Whisper Mendoza who is live from her hospital bed, in downtown Djibouti! Whisper, how are you feeling?
We cut to Whisper Mendoza who is sitting up in a hospital bed with pillows behind her. She smiles to the camera and the Faithful cheer.
Whisper: Hi Lissandra. **Something inaudible**
Lissandra: I’m sorry?
Whisper: I said I’m fine.
Lissandra: Well, that’s great news. Now it’s been said that Mike Zybala wants you at his next Dystopia show against none other than Roxxie G. How do you feel about that?
Whisper: I think that it’s **Something inaudible** and I’m sure hoping to be **Something inaudible**.
Lissandra: Whisper, I’m sorry. I think the audio is bad on our end.
Whisper replies but we cannot hear her at all.
Lissandra: It’s fantastic that you’re looking so well and we can’t wait to have you back on Equality. But I’m sorry Whisper I think we’re having audio issues again. I couldn’t hear you at all.
Whisper smiles, and nods her head and goes to repeat what she said previously.
Lissandra: Whisper, we’ll have to leave it there, I’m sorry. Take care!
Whisper nods and waves to the camera as the feed cuts out. Lissandra holds her finger to her ear again.
Lissandra: Hmm, I’m being told that there were in fact no audio issues - how strange! Anyway after this short break it’s our main event. We’ll be back after this!
—--------------------------------------------
We arrive back to find Lord Allton in his office. His support worker Bill, brings him a cup of tea.
Allton: Thank-you, Bill. How is Allton House?
Bill: It’s fine. Jefferson and I are keeping the place running.
Allton: Well, I’m glad you were able to get a flight out to Djibouti. You haven’t worked for me for ages.
Allton smirks when there is a knock at the door. It’s Jade Spritz.
Allton: Excuse me, dear boy.
Bill: Yeah of course.
Bill leaves the office and Spritz looks on after him.
Spritz: Well… well…well… Now who is that tall, handsome drink of water? I could definitely become thirsty for THAT…
Allton: Miss Spritz, are you here because you want something or are you here to oggle my personal staff?
Spritz: Can’t I do both?
Allton raises an eyebrow unimpressed.
Spritz: OK. OK. I just came to tell you to keep an eye on what my boys do to CJ tonight. Because they are going to badly fuck him up. I mean 4on1? How can anyone survive those odds?
Allton: Yes, I’m sure your crew you’ve amassed will do just fine.
Spritz: They will!
Allton: Alright then.
Spritz: You just wait and see!
Allton: I’ll be waiting.
Spritz: I’m telling you.
Allton sighs, growing bored.
Allton: Miss Spritz… Look, do you actually REQUIRE anything? Anything at all?
Jade Spritz looks at Allton and shakes her head.
Allton: Then I’m sorry, I’m very busy.
He gestures towards the door.
Spritz: You know, you’re kinda cute yourself - especially when you’re angry.
Allton: I’m sorry….?
Spritz: Oh no, you don’t need to apologise to me. Someone like you, someone in your position…. I could make you dance.
Allton: Well I don’t know if you’ve noticed my predicament but I’m not really in the position to do much dancing. Now, that will be all.
Jade Spritz leans into Allton and is about to whisper something in his ear when Roxxie Gobbler wanders into the office.
Roxxie: Hey Rob… they didn’t have any cans of Pepsi I’m afraid, so I got 7UP - your second favourite. HEY! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!!
Allton: Miss Spritz was just leaving.
Spritz: Suuuuure I was.
Jade Spritz walks round to the office door and goes to tap Roxxie on the shoulder but Roxxie jerks away.
Spritz: Touchy, aren’t we? I’ll see you soon boss. Think about what I said.
Roxxie slams the door and sits herself up on Allton’s desk.
Roxxie: What DID she say?
Allton rolls his eyes with a sigh as we fade out back to Lissandra.
—------------------------------------------------
Lissandra: Just before our main event fans CJ O’Donnell has a few words for his opponents tonight.
CJ ODonnell: So tonight I have to face four of you. I can face the entire roster and the outcome will be the same. I will always win. I am The Distinguished. I am the one everyone pays to see. What did Jade bang these four losers and now they want to show her loyalty. FOOK them. They can continue to run the train on her. This is not going to be pretty. So go ahead and ring the bell but to the four of you I am gonna say this only once. Sooner than later Jade is going to run out of holes and everyone in the back already got a turn even Gilbert!
Lissandra: Ohhh kay. Well despite the words being vulgar, I’m not sure I can disagree, given what we saw transpire before the break. I however know Lord Allton and he certainly would not pay attention to anything Jade Spritz has to say. Except on a professional level. And speaking of Spritz her new crew - minus Carmen - are standing in the ring. Belv?
Kings Never Die by Eminem hits the speakers and ‘The Distinguished’ CJ O’Donnell saunters his way to the ring, smirking at the four in the ring. Jade Spritz mouths off at CJ but he just throws up a finger her way. CJ climbs into the ring and the two tag teams are talking tactics. Puff rings the bell and immediately CJ launches an attack on the Viagra Boys. He takes them out of commission with an Irish Knowledge each. Tuff N’ Nuff are too stunned to move.
Spritz: Get the fuck in there, you stupid fuckers!
Tuff N’ Nuff rush CJ but CJ is too quick with a punch to the ribs of Tuff and a roundhouse kick to Nuff. Jade Spritz holds her head in her hands and CJ looks over at her with another smirk. He sends Nuff to the outside before grabbing hold of Tuff. CJ lays into Tuff with three knees in the corner and he then heads outside to retrieve Nuff. Spritz meanwhile is banging on the apron in an attempt to wake up the Viagras, but they’re out. CJ whips Nuff into the barricade and then looks back in the ring to see where his other three opponents are. He sees Tuff stumbling out of the corner so heads back into the ring to batter Tuff senseless with a LOT of grounded punches. So much so that Tuff is now busted open.
CJ: You fooking pussies. And not like HER rotten one either.
The camera briefly cuts to Spritz who is not happy. CJ continues to batter on Tuff when he sees Nuff and the Viagras start to stir.
CJ: Fooking finally….
CJ smirks as he forces both Viagra boys into the corners and then he does the same with Tuff N’ Nuff. CJ then stands in the centre of the ring looking around at all four of his opponents.
Lissandra: CJ…. looking like he’s picking and choosing something here…..
CJ then sprints towards Tuff and smacks him with the Irish Knowledge! He then sprints to the opposite corner doing the same to Nuff. Finally he does the same to both Viagra Boys and then piles them all up in a heap in the centre of the ring. He lays one foot on them as Puff counts! 1……….2………3!!!!
Lissandra: Wow! What a match! Fans, we're out of time. We’ll see you next time!