Post by Lord Allton on Apr 5, 2022 18:04:49 GMT -5
The Equality titles run and we see Lord Allton and Mike Zybala talking from earlier in the day.
Allton: I know it’s you and Zybalda again tonight technically Mike, but given that it is that, I figured you wouldn’t mind. Also you know…..Poblino is our bitch on this show.
Allton smiles and Zybala smirks, not saying a word. Allton looks at whatever Zybala is currently proudly looking at and smiles again.
Allton: So how are my boys doing anyway?
The camera pans back revealing that Gregory the Elephant and Batbear are tagging each other in preparation for tonight’s match.
Zybala: Great! They’ve learned to tag in and out! I don’t know how it’s happened, I’ve only been working on teaching them this since yesterday.
Allton: You’re a regular Dr. Dolittle mate.
Suddenly, we see that Batbear has taken to doing a massive dump in the middle of the woods and then we see Chuppie leap into Zybala’s arms. Allton looks at Batbear and then at Zybala while stroking Chuppie.
Allton: I feel there’s a joke here, Mike.
Zybala: Ha! Totally.
Allton: Good luck tonight.
Allton and Zybala fist bump and Allton rides down the beach on Quinn as his phone rings. Can you work a phone and drive an engine powered wheelchair? I don’t know but since there are no rules or laws for where the good people of OCW are currently at, let’s roll with it. (Yes I know what I did there )
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We then cut to Lissandra with her usual beaming smile, welcoming us to the show.
Lissandra: Good evening OCW Faithful and welcome to Tuesday Night Equality, coming to you from….uh….a beach in ‘Notstralia’ as I’ve heard it recently. I like it, I’m using it. Thank-you to the person who came up with it.
Lissandra knowingly winks into the camera.
Lissandra: Three massive matches coming up once again. Our main event, new tag team Tuff n’ Nuff - alleged brothers of OCW referee Scruff (who knew?) will be in tag team action with Roxxie and Marcy. Before that, Whisper Mendoza faces off against Chuck - I didn’t even realise he was still here…but kicking us off, it’s Batbear & Gregory the Elephant vs Pablino and Zybalda. Ooh, but before that! It looks like Pablino and Zybalda are already in the ring and have something to say.
Poblano goes to speak when he is immediately cut off by Allton’s phone playing When You’re Evil.
Allton: No. No! I’m sorry. You… you piece of shit don’t get to talk. Besides the people here on the island and the people watching illegally at home, they want to be entertained. And you two are about as far from entertaining as one can get.
Poblano: You can’t treat me like this. I’m not a wrestler!
Allton: I can treat you like this actually. Everything you’ve put my friend Mike Zybala through recently. I can do whatever the fuck I want. You’re forgetting that this isn’t Massacre, Gregory. This is Equality. This is Allton’s show. THIS IS MY SHOW! And the other night I said that if you worked on my show I would make your life hell. Then well………..I had an epiphany. As OCW Janitor, you CAN work my show.
Poblano: Yeah…As a janitor! Not a wrestler! I’m the fucking janitor now.
Allton: Hey! Hey! I will have none of that language on my fucking show, do you hear me?
Poblano: But you just swore! You’re a fucking psychopath, Allton.
Allton looks at his watch, yawning out of boredom.
Allton: Yes, well… I used to have a demonic clown living in my head, so yeah, probably. But hey. I’m growing bored now so………..on with our first match!
Gary Wright’s Dreamweaver hits…..someone’s phone as everyone backs up allowing Gregory the Elephant and Batbear through. Gregory the Elephant is being proudly ridden to the ring by Mike Zybala as a member of the ring crew follows on behind with Batbear. Allton DINGS the bell after Belvedere gets done with intros. How did we get Greg into that ring? Um….would you believe that Zybala is a magician? You would? Great. Zybala did it. Anyway Zybala eyes Poblano and Zybalda with as much disdain as ever, as we get underway!
Lissandra: So I’m not sure how I’m supposed to call this match….if you can call it such. But such is life here on Equality.
Gregory starts things off with Zybalda because Poblano has forced him to start. The ring attendant stays on the apron with Batbear and a shed load of meat to keep him happy. Possibly kangaroo but hopefully not the one that hit that amazing suplex last night. (Sorry Easton!) Gregory rears his trunk causing Zybalda to be scared shitless. Gregory stomps over to Zybalda and Superkicks him! Zybalda stumbles back and without meaning to, tags in Poblano and the man is obviously not happy. Scruff mentions that Poblano must climb in but Poblano is having none of it and tries to escape. Poblano races around the ring, accidentally getting some of Batbear’s meat juices on him in the process, just as Gregory the Elephant and Batbear tag each other causing everyone to ‘aww’ such a sweet moment. Batbear sniffs the air and the attendant lets go of Batbear. Then Batbear gives chase after Poblano!
Allton: Ohhhh by the way, this match is now a falls count anywhere. Scruff! Get out there after them! Now!
Scruff shrugs and takes off after Poblano and Batbear. Everyone then follows Scruff. The crowd reaches a clearing past a lot of trees and Batbear is mauling Poblano’s janitor jacket with Poblano trying to keep him at bay with a mop. No, not the MOP, sadly. Poblano then hastily removes his jacket and Batbear sniffs it but realises that there is no meat on it. Just the juices. Batbear then growls and you KNOW Poblano has done fucked up! Poblano begins to slowly back away but he backs up into a waiting Gregory the Elephant and Mike Zybala!
Zybala: Hey, Poblino?
Poblano turns around in fear.
Zybala: You fucked up!
Gregory SUPERKICKS Poblano and makes him stumble into Batbear who squeezes Poblano with a horrendous bearhug! Scruff makes the sign to ring the bell but Allton is reading a book! What book? Probably IT by Stephen King. Excellent read, you all owe it to yourselves to read it. Where is Zybalda to break things up? Aruba, more than likely. You think he wants to cross Brucey Batbear? Exactly.
Zybala: Allton!
Allton looks up and sees Poblano in agony and eventually says DING!
Belvedere: Here are your winners: Gregory the Elephant and Batbear!
Batbear continues the bearhug on Poblano as Allton smiles with glee and we mercifully cut away back to Lissandra who has made her way back to her commentary table (a fallen tree near the ring).
Lissandra: Well fans, that was certainly a weird match. Coming up next we have everyone’s favourite Equality OG in Whisper Mendoza and she goes one on one with Chuck. And it’s right after this break!
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We cut to Allton talking to Matsuda and Marta Grimes.
Allton: I thought that we were supposed to have Unique Blossom and Fuckin’ Wendy in this segment just before Whisper and Chuck?
Matsuda: Hai, we did but….
Allton: Don’t tell me….?
Grimes: Er yeah. No-one told them to get on the plane. I thought you were gonna do that?
Allton: Marta, I’m a busy man. I can’t be expected to remember everyone.
Matsuda: Hai, but two important members of the Equality roster?
Allton: Important?! Yeah right! Those two haven’t been relevant for weeks.
As Allton says this, Whisper Mendoza walks past Allton and his bodyguards. Matsuda bows.
Allton: Miss Mendoza! Good luck tonight.
Whisper: Thanks boss.
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Lissandra: And we’re back fans! Now it seems that we were supposed to have an appearance from Fuckin’ Wendy and Unique Blossom… But no-one told them to get on the plane! Good thing too. Given where we’ve ended up. Aww Lilly! Mommy and Daddy miss you! **AHEM** anyway! Belv?
Belvedere: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Already in the ring, he used to be Vee Strader’s chief of security. He is Chuck! And making her way to the ring is Whisper Mendoza.
A faint cheer for Whisper Mendoza and a ‘Fuck him up, Whisper!’ chant even starts which Chuck isn’t too receptive to as he tells everyone to go and screw a kangaroo. Scruff rings the bell and Whisper is unsure how to start. She looks to Scruff who shrugs. She looks to Belvedere who shrugs. Whisper then shrugs herself and drops to her knees before realising that she is still too tall. Chuck tries throwing his knife at Whisper but she dodges it and Scruff slides it out of the ring.
Chuck: D’ah fucking hell.
Whisper then runs forward, kicking Chuck into the ropes who bounces back off them. Whisper then grabs hold of Chuck in the best front face lock that she can on a chucky doll. She’s never accomplished such a feat before. She runs into the corner and hits a tornado DDT! Scruff slides in.
Scruff: 1……..2………3!
Lissandra: A……decisive win for Mendoza there as we head to our main event of Roxxie and Marcy vs Tuff n’ Nuff.
When You’re Evil suddenly starts to play on someone’s phone and Allton makes his way to the ring again.
Allton: Wait, wait…wait wait wait! Scruff! There will be no biased officiating here!
Scruff looks confused.
Allton: I have it on good authority that Tuff N’ Nuff are your long lost brothers!
Scruff looks even more confused and says that he is an only child. Tuff n’ Nuff then make their way through the crowd screaming that that is not true and that they are indeed his brothers, even if he’s never seen them before.
Allton: Well if they are your brothers, I’m not having you refereeing a match with your family in it. Puff…… where are you?
The crowd parts and there’s Puff lighting one up because of course he is.
Allton: Get your backside down here and referee this match.
Puff looks like a deer in headlights as everyone looks at him and Allton points to the ring. Tuff n’ Nuff meanwhile have already climbed in. Puff then sheepishly makes his way to the ring, not expecting to work tonight. But when the boss says move your ass……
Lissandra: Now folks, Tuff n’ Nuff were supposed to make their debut a few Massacres ago, but the match was cancelled so here they are on Equality. As Roxxie and Marcy make their way to the ring.
Roxxie and Marcy climb into the ring and Roxxie stares down Tuff n’ Nuff.
Lissandra: Roxxie staring down Tuff n’ Nuff there like they’re exes. And Puff rings the bell!
It’s Roxxie and Tuff starting things off as Tuff tries to double Roxxie over with a kick to the gut. But it has no effect! Instead she doubles him over and hits the Roxy Roller! (Razor’s Edge) Nuff, seeing this, tries to escape but Marcy jumps off the apron and saunters over to Nuff. Marcy then whispers something in Nuff’s ear which gets his attention in more ways than one, both upstairs and seemingly downstairs because he develops a huge smile. Marcy and Nuff then link arms walking through the crowd as she turns around to Roxxie with a wink. Roxxie shakes her head, hitting another Roxy Roller on Tuff and covers him for the win! Suddenly there is a scream from within the crowd as we see Marcy grabbing Nuff’s head and hitting the Real Hummer (RKO) onto a rock! Allton sees this and calls Knifey over.
Allton: Is he concussed, Knifey?
Knifey checks on Nuff, determining that Nuff is fine and shakes his head.
Allton: Good. Fade out, we’re done.
Lissandra: We’ll see you for episode seven gang!
We fade.
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Darn it, it's just hit 00:04 here in the UK. Does it still count as a 'Tuesday' Night Equality? I'll let you be the judges! Enjoy.
Allton: I know it’s you and Zybalda again tonight technically Mike, but given that it is that, I figured you wouldn’t mind. Also you know…..Poblino is our bitch on this show.
Allton smiles and Zybala smirks, not saying a word. Allton looks at whatever Zybala is currently proudly looking at and smiles again.
Allton: So how are my boys doing anyway?
The camera pans back revealing that Gregory the Elephant and Batbear are tagging each other in preparation for tonight’s match.
Zybala: Great! They’ve learned to tag in and out! I don’t know how it’s happened, I’ve only been working on teaching them this since yesterday.
Allton: You’re a regular Dr. Dolittle mate.
Suddenly, we see that Batbear has taken to doing a massive dump in the middle of the woods and then we see Chuppie leap into Zybala’s arms. Allton looks at Batbear and then at Zybala while stroking Chuppie.
Allton: I feel there’s a joke here, Mike.
Zybala: Ha! Totally.
Allton: Good luck tonight.
Allton and Zybala fist bump and Allton rides down the beach on Quinn as his phone rings. Can you work a phone and drive an engine powered wheelchair? I don’t know but since there are no rules or laws for where the good people of OCW are currently at, let’s roll with it. (Yes I know what I did there )
========================================================
We then cut to Lissandra with her usual beaming smile, welcoming us to the show.
Lissandra: Good evening OCW Faithful and welcome to Tuesday Night Equality, coming to you from….uh….a beach in ‘Notstralia’ as I’ve heard it recently. I like it, I’m using it. Thank-you to the person who came up with it.
Lissandra knowingly winks into the camera.
Lissandra: Three massive matches coming up once again. Our main event, new tag team Tuff n’ Nuff - alleged brothers of OCW referee Scruff (who knew?) will be in tag team action with Roxxie and Marcy. Before that, Whisper Mendoza faces off against Chuck - I didn’t even realise he was still here…but kicking us off, it’s Batbear & Gregory the Elephant vs Pablino and Zybalda. Ooh, but before that! It looks like Pablino and Zybalda are already in the ring and have something to say.
Poblano goes to speak when he is immediately cut off by Allton’s phone playing When You’re Evil.
Allton: No. No! I’m sorry. You… you piece of shit don’t get to talk. Besides the people here on the island and the people watching illegally at home, they want to be entertained. And you two are about as far from entertaining as one can get.
Poblano: You can’t treat me like this. I’m not a wrestler!
Allton: I can treat you like this actually. Everything you’ve put my friend Mike Zybala through recently. I can do whatever the fuck I want. You’re forgetting that this isn’t Massacre, Gregory. This is Equality. This is Allton’s show. THIS IS MY SHOW! And the other night I said that if you worked on my show I would make your life hell. Then well………..I had an epiphany. As OCW Janitor, you CAN work my show.
Poblano: Yeah…As a janitor! Not a wrestler! I’m the fucking janitor now.
Allton: Hey! Hey! I will have none of that language on my fucking show, do you hear me?
Poblano: But you just swore! You’re a fucking psychopath, Allton.
Allton looks at his watch, yawning out of boredom.
Allton: Yes, well… I used to have a demonic clown living in my head, so yeah, probably. But hey. I’m growing bored now so………..on with our first match!
Gary Wright’s Dreamweaver hits…..someone’s phone as everyone backs up allowing Gregory the Elephant and Batbear through. Gregory the Elephant is being proudly ridden to the ring by Mike Zybala as a member of the ring crew follows on behind with Batbear. Allton DINGS the bell after Belvedere gets done with intros. How did we get Greg into that ring? Um….would you believe that Zybala is a magician? You would? Great. Zybala did it. Anyway Zybala eyes Poblano and Zybalda with as much disdain as ever, as we get underway!
Lissandra: So I’m not sure how I’m supposed to call this match….if you can call it such. But such is life here on Equality.
Gregory starts things off with Zybalda because Poblano has forced him to start. The ring attendant stays on the apron with Batbear and a shed load of meat to keep him happy. Possibly kangaroo but hopefully not the one that hit that amazing suplex last night. (Sorry Easton!) Gregory rears his trunk causing Zybalda to be scared shitless. Gregory stomps over to Zybalda and Superkicks him! Zybalda stumbles back and without meaning to, tags in Poblano and the man is obviously not happy. Scruff mentions that Poblano must climb in but Poblano is having none of it and tries to escape. Poblano races around the ring, accidentally getting some of Batbear’s meat juices on him in the process, just as Gregory the Elephant and Batbear tag each other causing everyone to ‘aww’ such a sweet moment. Batbear sniffs the air and the attendant lets go of Batbear. Then Batbear gives chase after Poblano!
Allton: Ohhhh by the way, this match is now a falls count anywhere. Scruff! Get out there after them! Now!
Scruff shrugs and takes off after Poblano and Batbear. Everyone then follows Scruff. The crowd reaches a clearing past a lot of trees and Batbear is mauling Poblano’s janitor jacket with Poblano trying to keep him at bay with a mop. No, not the MOP, sadly. Poblano then hastily removes his jacket and Batbear sniffs it but realises that there is no meat on it. Just the juices. Batbear then growls and you KNOW Poblano has done fucked up! Poblano begins to slowly back away but he backs up into a waiting Gregory the Elephant and Mike Zybala!
Zybala: Hey, Poblino?
Poblano turns around in fear.
Zybala: You fucked up!
Gregory SUPERKICKS Poblano and makes him stumble into Batbear who squeezes Poblano with a horrendous bearhug! Scruff makes the sign to ring the bell but Allton is reading a book! What book? Probably IT by Stephen King. Excellent read, you all owe it to yourselves to read it. Where is Zybalda to break things up? Aruba, more than likely. You think he wants to cross Brucey Batbear? Exactly.
Zybala: Allton!
Allton looks up and sees Poblano in agony and eventually says DING!
Belvedere: Here are your winners: Gregory the Elephant and Batbear!
Batbear continues the bearhug on Poblano as Allton smiles with glee and we mercifully cut away back to Lissandra who has made her way back to her commentary table (a fallen tree near the ring).
Lissandra: Well fans, that was certainly a weird match. Coming up next we have everyone’s favourite Equality OG in Whisper Mendoza and she goes one on one with Chuck. And it’s right after this break!
===================================================
We cut to Allton talking to Matsuda and Marta Grimes.
Allton: I thought that we were supposed to have Unique Blossom and Fuckin’ Wendy in this segment just before Whisper and Chuck?
Matsuda: Hai, we did but….
Allton: Don’t tell me….?
Grimes: Er yeah. No-one told them to get on the plane. I thought you were gonna do that?
Allton: Marta, I’m a busy man. I can’t be expected to remember everyone.
Matsuda: Hai, but two important members of the Equality roster?
Allton: Important?! Yeah right! Those two haven’t been relevant for weeks.
As Allton says this, Whisper Mendoza walks past Allton and his bodyguards. Matsuda bows.
Allton: Miss Mendoza! Good luck tonight.
Whisper: Thanks boss.
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Lissandra: And we’re back fans! Now it seems that we were supposed to have an appearance from Fuckin’ Wendy and Unique Blossom… But no-one told them to get on the plane! Good thing too. Given where we’ve ended up. Aww Lilly! Mommy and Daddy miss you! **AHEM** anyway! Belv?
Belvedere: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Already in the ring, he used to be Vee Strader’s chief of security. He is Chuck! And making her way to the ring is Whisper Mendoza.
A faint cheer for Whisper Mendoza and a ‘Fuck him up, Whisper!’ chant even starts which Chuck isn’t too receptive to as he tells everyone to go and screw a kangaroo. Scruff rings the bell and Whisper is unsure how to start. She looks to Scruff who shrugs. She looks to Belvedere who shrugs. Whisper then shrugs herself and drops to her knees before realising that she is still too tall. Chuck tries throwing his knife at Whisper but she dodges it and Scruff slides it out of the ring.
Chuck: D’ah fucking hell.
Whisper then runs forward, kicking Chuck into the ropes who bounces back off them. Whisper then grabs hold of Chuck in the best front face lock that she can on a chucky doll. She’s never accomplished such a feat before. She runs into the corner and hits a tornado DDT! Scruff slides in.
Scruff: 1……..2………3!
Lissandra: A……decisive win for Mendoza there as we head to our main event of Roxxie and Marcy vs Tuff n’ Nuff.
When You’re Evil suddenly starts to play on someone’s phone and Allton makes his way to the ring again.
Allton: Wait, wait…wait wait wait! Scruff! There will be no biased officiating here!
Scruff looks confused.
Allton: I have it on good authority that Tuff N’ Nuff are your long lost brothers!
Scruff looks even more confused and says that he is an only child. Tuff n’ Nuff then make their way through the crowd screaming that that is not true and that they are indeed his brothers, even if he’s never seen them before.
Allton: Well if they are your brothers, I’m not having you refereeing a match with your family in it. Puff…… where are you?
The crowd parts and there’s Puff lighting one up because of course he is.
Allton: Get your backside down here and referee this match.
Puff looks like a deer in headlights as everyone looks at him and Allton points to the ring. Tuff n’ Nuff meanwhile have already climbed in. Puff then sheepishly makes his way to the ring, not expecting to work tonight. But when the boss says move your ass……
Lissandra: Now folks, Tuff n’ Nuff were supposed to make their debut a few Massacres ago, but the match was cancelled so here they are on Equality. As Roxxie and Marcy make their way to the ring.
Roxxie and Marcy climb into the ring and Roxxie stares down Tuff n’ Nuff.
Lissandra: Roxxie staring down Tuff n’ Nuff there like they’re exes. And Puff rings the bell!
It’s Roxxie and Tuff starting things off as Tuff tries to double Roxxie over with a kick to the gut. But it has no effect! Instead she doubles him over and hits the Roxy Roller! (Razor’s Edge) Nuff, seeing this, tries to escape but Marcy jumps off the apron and saunters over to Nuff. Marcy then whispers something in Nuff’s ear which gets his attention in more ways than one, both upstairs and seemingly downstairs because he develops a huge smile. Marcy and Nuff then link arms walking through the crowd as she turns around to Roxxie with a wink. Roxxie shakes her head, hitting another Roxy Roller on Tuff and covers him for the win! Suddenly there is a scream from within the crowd as we see Marcy grabbing Nuff’s head and hitting the Real Hummer (RKO) onto a rock! Allton sees this and calls Knifey over.
Allton: Is he concussed, Knifey?
Knifey checks on Nuff, determining that Nuff is fine and shakes his head.
Allton: Good. Fade out, we’re done.
Lissandra: We’ll see you for episode seven gang!
We fade.
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Darn it, it's just hit 00:04 here in the UK. Does it still count as a 'Tuesday' Night Equality? I'll let you be the judges! Enjoy.