Post by zybala on Oct 27, 2021 11:52:38 GMT -5
~ The scene opens up with a shot of some old grainy film playing. We see a shitty boom box placed atop a cheap, fold out table. The play button is triggered. The beat to DA FUNK starts to play. A loud crowd is heard cheering. We zoom out with anticipation only to find that about fifteen people are in attendance. The crowd noise is obviously part of the song. Standing over the boombox is DEAN. He’s got a CLASSIC OCW, BABY t-shirt on along with a pair of board shorts. Shades cover his tired eyes. He takes a seat at the ‘announce’ table. Another cheap fold out table with upside buckets for chairs. Mike Zybala is already seated in his spot. They have headphones on…but there is no PA system. So it’s all for show~
FEBRUARY 5th, 2018… A revolution was born.
~ Clips from the Controlled Chaos play. We see the battles of the combination X-Factor and United X-Division titles tournament leading up to Barry Barrows and Lord Allton fighting. We cut to shots of The Malvados defeating The Patriots to become the first and so far only Outsiders Tag Team champions. This is followed by scenes of the epic World Title Last Man Standing match between then champ The Uber-Man and current champion Peter Vaughn. The last shots are of each winner holding up their titles. ~
SEPTEMBER 30th, 2020… Controlled Chaos proved that Outsiders was more than just a fad...
~ We cut to scene of the GCWA and OCW arenas with closed signs in front of them. We then fade to clips of Dystopia: Double X. Vaughn soundly defending his world title against Bri Carter. The Legacy destroying Sunday for shits and giggles. Aaron Warthog becoming the first Streaming Services champion by winning the first Andy Memorial Open Invite Battle Royale. The Malvados keeping the tag belts in a hellish 4 team TLC match. Lord Allton and Barry Barrows ending their bitter feud with an Ultimate X match that saw Allton become the Omega X champion. ~
MAY 8th, 2021… While other feds were closing, Outsiders proved that doubters wrong one again with Dystopia: Double X!
OCTOBER 26th, 2021… Outsiders continues its forward momentum by becoming the first company to have the initials OCW to give a show solely dedicated to the fairer, but no less dangerous, gender. Tonight, women from The Yard and other companies join together for a night of mayhem and carnage that only Outsiders Championship Wrestling™ can bring you. These femme fatales will show that can bring the action just as good, if not better than, the men. For one night only, these brutal beauties will be running The Yard as Outsiders presents:
~ We go to a live feed of The Yard! It is packed! The Mariachi Band is rocking out a version of "Daughters of Darkness" by Halestorm because the song rocks and is all about women empowerment and shit! The fans are cheering and going nuts! The bleachers and ringside seats are filled to maximum capacity! For the first time ever in Outsider's history, we see more ladies in attendance than the guys. Regardless of gender, all fans are cheering loud enough to make The Yard sound like a jam packed Madison Square Garden! Emilo and Eastern European are taking the night off as Cassandra Baker-Savage and some other woman are at the grills while many food trucks are in the spare space behind the other two houses that Zybala purchased to make a super backyard for Outsiders.
We see Lissandra Thomas and Commissioner Annie already standing in the ring, both looking excited to take place on this momentous night. Next to the ramp is one of those large, inflatable TV screens that was showing the opening video segment to the live crowd. We then pan over to the folding table that is replacing the now destroyed fridge box. Mike Zybala and President Dean are gone! Replacing them for the night is the interpreter for the Malvados, Vanessa joined by Alice Knight! They look like they are trying to enjoy this the best they can. ~
Vanessa: Welcome to LADIES NIGHT everybody. I'm Vanessa, joined by Half of Famer Alice Knight!
Alice: Hoot to all my fans out there. It's cool to be here, I guess. Zybala kept asking me so I said sure to shut him up. Plus I kinda wanna see the lady with the robot arm.
Vanessa: I'm actually here for his home cooking. Pretty good, if I'm being honest.
Alice: I'm just glad he had my mustard in the fridge.
Vanessa: Enough about food. We're here for action! Through begging, bribery, blackmail, a faulty fax machine, and giving a young Make-A-Wish lady the wish of a lifetime, Zybala managed to cobble together a packed card!
~ Alice picks up a piece of paper and starts reading from it. ~
Alice: According to the cheat sheet Zybala left, looks like it. We'll be seeing Liberty Belle replacing her preggers sister to take on someone named Foxy Roxi. Former Trans-Atlantic champion Sarah Syren will take on an original Outsider, Bri Carter. Then we'll have the match I wanna see the most as cyborg Cori Haim fights someone who must hate fax machines right about now, Vicky Stone.
Vanessa: Also on the card, we'll see frenemy of Zybala, Lilith square off against Grace Rimmer and former OCW GM Who'Re in a handicapped match. Then we'll see Lady Penelope vs she continues her battle with Cancer. And perhaps the most intriguing match of the night would have to be Matsuda versus a "Surprise Opponent."
Alice: Zybala has been tight lipped about who this lady will be. Tonight we find out on LADIES NIGHT! Let's get the show on the road! Take it away Lissandra!
~ We cut to Annie and Lissandra standing in the ring. Annie has a ref shirt on and Lissandra is smartly dressed in a white suit tailored to her figure. She raises the microphone and LADIES NIGHT begins! ~
Lissandra: Welcome one and all to LADIES NIGHT!!
~ The crowd lets out a huge cheer! Lissandra smiles, being one of the few people that jumped at the chance to be here. ~
BRI CARTER vs SARA SYREN
Lissandra: The following match is your opening match of the evening and it's scheduled for (pauses to hold up one finger) ONE FALL!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Lissandra: Coming to the ring first…. She is a former Trans-Atlantic champion.. She was Who'Re's right hand lady....she is Sara Syren!!
~“Face the Pain” by Stemm hits! Sara Syren burst through the curtain. She’s somehow bigger and more cut than before. Storming to the ring, she ignores the boos and jeers of the audience. She storms up the steps and powers through the ropes. She looks ready to wreck someone's shit as her music dies down. Annie goes to check her as Lissandra continues...~
Lissandra: And her opponent…. Hailing from Miami, Florida, weighing 117 pounds, she is "The Better Carter" Bri Carter!
~ "Bitch Came Back" by Theory of a Deadman hits the speakers as Bri steps out from the back door and stands on the ramp. She looks around The Yard before she makes her way to the ring, high fiving a few fans on the way. She enters the ring and stretches a bit as Lissandra leaves the ring. Annie checks Carter and says she's all clear. As Annie turns to go to ring the bell, THE JUDGE runs into The Yard! The Yardies cheer as he hurls The Book at Sarah Syren. The book smashes into the back of the head. The bell rings just as Syren falls to the mat, out cold! ~
Alice: What the heck?! The Judge just threw the book at Syren, literally!
Vanessa: THE JUDGE is getting a receipt for what happened to him at Infection! Syren is out cold!
Alice: Yes she is. Bri is gonna have an easy.. Hey! Where are you going?!
~ Vanessa gets up from the announce table and runs to the ring. Carter doesn't notice this as she is going to cover the unconscious Syren. Vanessa slides under the ropes, grabs Bri and throws her from the ring! She then hops on Syren and yells at Annie to make the count. Annie shrugs because she's easy going and gets in position. ~
Lissandra: Here's your winner…. Vanessa!!!
~ The Yardies cheer as Vanessa jumps up to her feet and celebrates. Bri looks pissed but takes off when she sees THE JUDGE storming towards the ring. Carter is gone by the time THE JUDGE gets to ringside to retrieve The Book. He then glares at Vanessa before looking at Annie. ~
THE JUDGE: Was that legal?!?
Annie: It's Outsiders, so yes? I don't know. Zybala told me to just roll with whatever happens. Go talk to him about it.
~ THE JUDGE merely nods and heads off to find Zybala presumably. Vanessa goes back to the announce table to rejoin Alice. ~
Alice: I didn't know you could interfere like that.
Vanessa: Yeah. I asked Zybala if I could jump in a match no one dropped a promo for. I though the Squashness Monster would take someone out and I could just pick the scraps.
Alice: Well, someone just as big came out. He must really be eating his mustard to get that big and strong.
Vanessa: While we're getting ready for our next match, I hear we have a commercial from Marcus Welsh!
~ We cut to a scene of Marcus Welsh sitting in his office. He looks rather smug. ~
Welsh: Greetings Outsiders fans. Do you like action? Do you like the unexpected? Do you like the BEST? Then stop watching this poor excuse for a company and watch the REAL OCW!
~ Welsh laughs like he got one over on Zybala. He did in a way. I mean, we got his money to air the commercial, but words still hurt. We cut back to The Yard. ~
Alice: That Welsh isn't a very nice person. I think he doesn't even like mustard!
Vanessa: He is a bit of a curmudgeon. Let's just ignore him and focus on the next match.
Alice: Take it away, Lissie!!
LILITH vs WHO'RE & GRACE RIMMER
Lissandra: The following match is a handicapped match and it's scheduled for ONE FALL!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Lissandra: Coming to the ring first…. They used to run the show when Welsh was in a coma…. They are Grace Rimmed and Who'Re!!!
~ "Bitch is Back" by Elton John hits the speakers and the fans boo loudly as Who'Re and Grace walk out into The Yard. Grace tries to look upbeat, happy that she still has some sort of job. Who'Re looks PIIIIISSSSSED! She had the wrestling world in her fingers and it all slipped away. The duo make it into the ring as Who'Re waits in the corner with a sour look on her face as Grace waves to the female fans. She ignores the men, as she tends to do. The Elton John classic fades away and Lissandra continues… ~
Lissandra: And they're opponent….From Los Angeles, California… weighing in at 142 pounds.... she is the "only true OCW Hall of Famer"..... This is LILITH!!!
~ "Imaginary" by Evanescence starts to play. Some Yardies cheer while others boo in expectation of Lilith. The scattered cheers turn to boos as no one comes out. Lissandra looks at Annie, who only shrugs. ~
Alice: Maybe Lilith didn't show up?
Vanessa: I wouldn't be surprised. She was all wishy washy about making an appearance.
~ Over the music, we can hear a loud, angry screech! The curtain starts to move as a hand grabs the door frame. A head pokes through and we see Lilith's angry visage. She is screaming at someone about "not wanting to" and she topples to the ramp. She brings Mike Zybala down with her! The frenemies roll around and argue on the ramp. Zybala gets his feet under, hoists Lilith up and drags her to the ring. She smacks, hits, and punches at Zybala and glares at him when he sets her down ringside. They argue when Zybala points at Who'Re and Grace. Whatever he says make Lilith stop yelling at him and turn towards the other ladies. Grace visibly backs away when she sees Lilith's face. Lilith climbs in the ring and Zybala heads back into the house. Annie, seeing that all three women are in the ring, calls for the bell to start the match. ~
Alice: Looks like this match will finally get underway.
Vanessa: I wonder what Zybala said to Lilith…
Alice: Whatever it was, it wasn't nice. Lilith just charged at Who'Re and Grace!
Vanessa: JESUS CHRIST!
~ Vanessa's exclamation is appropriate as Lilith punches Grace right in between the eyes! Grace is out like a light as she falls to the mat. Who'Re gasps as she backs away, trying to get away, but Lilith is too fast. Lilith charges at Who'Re and leaps into the air, taking the former G.M. down with a Thesz Press!!! They hit the mat hard and Lilith starts clawing at Who'Re's face. Who'Re yells out, trying to put her arms over her face for protection. Lilith begins choking Who'Re as Annie counts to five, forcing a break. Lilith releases and gets to her feet…while returning to her feet, she starts kicking Who'Re hard in the side. Who'Re groans in pain as Annie gives another five count before pulling Lilith away. ~
Alice: Lilith looking as vicious as ever with the claws and those kicks in full effect here tonight!
Vanessa: I wonder wear she gets her nails done.
Alice: You could ask her.
Vanessa: No thank you. She crazy.
~ Lilith is still being restrained by Annie as Who'Re rolls out of the ring while Grace uses the turnbuckle ropes to get to her feet. Once she does, Lilith shoves Annie out of the way and rushes towards Rimmed. She leaps up and crushes the Grace with a splash! Grace drops down in the corner and cowers, beginning for Lilith to stop. Lilith smiles sweetly and says "OK." Grace looks confused and asks Lilith if she's serious. Lilith nods, even going as far as spreading her arms for a hug. Grace is hesitant, but goes for the hug. Lilith gives her a big hug and squeezes tight…. And tighter…. And tighter still! As Lilith holds tight, she digs her fingernails into Grace's back! Grace cries out in pain and Annie checks on her. ~
Vanessa: What a bear hug! Lilith is crushing Grace!
Alice: I think she calls that "The Hug or Doom."
Vanessa: I think this is her doom. I believe Grace is quitting!
~ Annie is asking Grace if she wants to quit. Grace is shaking her head up and down while screaming "YES!" in a nonsexual way, you perverts. Annie calls for the bell and starts telling Lilith to release the hold. Lilith is reluctant but tosses Grace to the side when she sees Zybala walk into The Yard holding a giant, six foot teddy bear. Lilith steps on Who'Re as she runs out of the ring, shrieking with joy. She runs over and rips the teddy bear from Zybala's arms and proceeds to cuddle with it. She skips out of The Yard as Grace and Who'Re try to assist each other out of the ring. We fade away to a commercial. ~
~ It's a commercial for something Tony Savage is pitching. But you don't hear it because you decided to go to the bathroom at this time. Don't worry, we won't tell him. We'll let Tony think his add worked and you want to be interested in whatever he's peddling. The commercial ends, and Tony feels proud, as he is watching just for the commercial. We cut back to The Yard. Vanessa and Alice sitting back down at the announcers "table." ~
Vanessa: That was a nice break.
Alice: It was, but I'm psyched for this next match!
Vanessa: We got Vicky Stone, who sent her contract to the wrong OCW, taking on long time Outsider Cori Haim.
Alice: Robot Arm!
Vanessa: Lissie, the floor is yours!
CORI HAIM vs VICKY STONE
Lissandra: The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Lissandra:: Coming to the ring first... She calls Key West, Florida her home. She is "The One Armed Goddess" Cori Haim!!!
~ The trusty YouTube is cued up and plays "Don't You (Forget About Me). A few members of the crowd stand up and throw a fist in the air. as is tradition. Cori Haim walks into the yard to the cheers of the Yardies. She has a 40 in her hand and is chugging away as she holds her robot arm high, proudly showing it off! Haim stumbles her way to the ring. Cori climbs in the ring as the music stops. She finishes her booze and a fan tosses her another. She starts drinking as the fans start clapping and hitting their seats in a rhythm like the Terminator beat. Lissandra ignores the drinking and continues. ~
Lissandra: and her opponent.. Hailing from Hollywood California… weighing 125lb…. She is VICKY STONE!!
~ The Yardies cheer as "Hollywood" by Madonna hits the speakers and out stumbles Vicky Stone. She is holding a bottle of Blue Label Jack Daniels and takes a mighty swing from it before walking down the ramp and across the grass. She looks upset that she has to be here. ~
Vanessa: Vicky doesn't look too happy.
Alice: I wouldn't be happy if I had to fight a cyborg, either.
Vanessa: Is Cori really a cyborg?
Alice: A human with robot enhancements. That sounds like a cyborg to me.
Vanessa: Either way, Vicky looks like she would rather be anywhere else.
Alice: Well, that will teach her to used a fax machine correctly.
~ Stone finally gets into the ring, and she drains the rest of the bottle. The Yardies cheer as the amazing drinking prowess. Stone is wobbly on her feet, but so is Haim. Annie doesn't care as she calls for the bell. Haim finishes her beer and throws the can into the crowd and stumbles toward Stone, outstretching her arms for a lock up. Vicky barely sidesteps Haim and snares her in a chin lock. Cori slumps to the mat, more so from the booze in her system than the hold. Vicky has the hold somewhat locked in, as she is losing her battle against staying sober as well. Cori fights to her feet, jumps into the air and lands flat on her back, squashing Vicky into the mat!!! Stone releases his hold! Both women are down…the crowd is urging both women to get back up. Both try to roll around, but remain on the mat.~
Alice: This is less exciting than I expected…
Vanessa: Well, both are pretty drunk, so there's that.
Alice: But alcohol usually makes people more aggressive.
Vanessa: Sometimes, but it almost always leads to passing out.
~ Stone shakes her head, trying to get some sobriety back. Both ladies struggle to get to their feet. Stone gets to one knee as Haim uses the ropes to pull herself up. Cori straightens up, stunned to see Stone getting to her feet. How can someone who pounded a bottle of Blue Label Jack not be passed out?! Stone takes advantage of the confusion of Cori to rush forward and begins to pepper Cori with rights and lefts!! Haim staggers into the ropes! The Yardies are going wild! Vicky whips Cori off the ropes but Haim reverses! Vicky hits the ropes and Cori throws a spinning back hand with her flesh arm! Vicky catches Haim's wrist, brings her in and tosses Cori over her head with a Capture Suplex!! Cori hits the mat hard! The crowd gives a big pop for this! Vicky pops back to her feet, fired up! ~
Vanessa: Unbelievable! Despite drinking the good stuff hard, Vicky is dominating this match.
Alice: Cori was drinking beer hard as well..
Vanessa: True, but J.D. has a higher alcohol content than beer..
Alice: Both pair well with mustard.
~ Stone snares Haim by the hair and hoists her up to her feet. Cori takes a wild swing with her robot arm, which Vicky is able to back out of the way from. Haim uses the distance to leap up in the air with a dropkick and hits.. nothing. Cori never bothered to try to close the small gap between her and Vicky, who continued to back away. Cori lands on the mat and quickly scrambles to her feet to try to keep on some form of offensive as she dashes at Vicky. Stone responds by kicking Cori in the guy and drops her with a Stunner!! The crowd pops at the move and a few even throw half full beer cans in the ring. Cori is out as Stone climbs on top of her to make the cover! ~
~ Annie calls for the bell as Stone gets back to her feet. Annie raises Vicky's arm. Vicky look at her and asks if she can leave yet. Annie shrugs and says sure. Vicky cheers and starts running to the house even as Lissandra announces her as the winner. ~
Lissandra: There goes your winner… VICKY STONE!
WELCOME TO OUTSIDERS MATCH
LIBERTY BELLE vs FOXY ROXY
~ We come back from intermission. The fans are filling back into their seats, bladders emptied, food in hand and the food trucks making a bunch of money. We go over to Lissandra, waiting in the ring.~
Lissandra: Coming to the ring first…. accompanied by Memphis Belle and Aaron Warthog…. Hailing from the greatest country in the world…. This is Liberty Belle!!
~ The speakers come alive as "Stars And Stripes Forever" begins playing. The Yardies cheer as Liberty walks out decked out in MMA style gear, all with a patriotic color scheme. She is followed by a very pregnant Memphis Belle and Aaron Warthog smiling and waving to the fans. Liberty rolls into the ring and is followed by Warthog, Memphis choosing to stay at ringside. Aaron is giving Liberty some last minute words of encouragement. ~
Alice: An interesting twist for this one. It seems Zybala forgot that Memphis was pregnant when he booked her for this. So she called her twin to substitute for her.
Vanessa: So it's gonna be newcomer versus newcomer tonight. Have you heard anything about this "Roxy" lady?
Alice: Nope. Zybala doesn't seem to have anything on his cheat sheet besides her name.
Lissandra: And her opponent…. making her Outsider's debut…. She hails from "The Party Plaza".... This is Foxy Roxy!!
~ "Roxy Roller" by Nick Gilder plays over the speakers and out walks a person in a full Fox furry costume in a bikini! Some people cheer, some boo, but most are confused about what they are seeing. But they don't judge. We don't judge in The Yard. Roxy dances her way down the lawn and climbs up onto the ring, then to the top of the turnbuckle. She waves to the crowd before hoping to the mat. Lissandra looks at her and mutters something about "doing this for Penny" before leaving the ring. Warthog is still giving Liberty advice, but follows her case when he notices that she is no longer paying attention to him. Warthog sees the furry and screams out "JESUS CHRIST!" and charges at her! Foxy, who was too preoccupied with waving to the fans, turns when she hears the shout, only to get crushed by a Stampede!! He gets up and realises it is only a costume. He rolls out of the ring, embarassed, as Annie calls for the bell to start this match. Library shrugs and covers Foxy. ~
Lissandra: Here is your winner…. LIBERTY BELLE!!
~ The Yardies boo at the quick match as Liberty rolls out of the ring and celebrates with her cheering sister. Any win is a good win in The Belle Family. The sisters and Aaron are celebrating the win when Memphis grabs her stomach and doubles over. Aaron stops his cheering and turns to his lady love. She looks up with a pained smile on her face and a liquid coming down her legs. She says that her water broke and a moment of silence fills The Yard before a huge cheer erupts! Warthog and Liberty are going bonkers, yelling at everyone to call an ambulance, grab a chair, stuff like that. We go to a commercial for Roku and Pluto and YouTube streaming services. ~
SURPRISE OPPONENT MATCH
MATSUDA vs TBA
~We cut back to The Yard. All the chaos has calmed down. People are back in their seats, and The Belles and Warthog are nowhere to be seen. We go over to Alice and Vanessa. ~
Alice: That was bananas!
Vanessa: Yeah it was. I couldn't believe that we had an ambulance on standby.
Alice: I can't believe Cori Haim wanted to try to deliver the baby. A robot arm doesn't make one automatically certified to "reach up there and pull the sucker out.
Vanessa: Let's just keep the show going. I'm eager to see who Matsuda's mystery opponent is.
Alice: Do we have to? Can they come out in a mask? Everything is better with an air of mystery.
Lissandra: Coming to the ring first... She hails from the Land of the Rising Sun….a bona-fide star wherever she goes…. This is Matsuda!!!
~ "Battle Without Honor Or Humanity" by Tomoyasu Hotei starts playing over the speakers and Matsuda walks out to make her second appearance of the night. She is all focus as she walks to the ring as the fans cheer for her. She rolls under the ropes and makes her way to a corner, staring at the house and waiting for her opponent. The music stops and Lissandra continues. ~
Lissandra: And her opponent…
~ There is an awkward silence as nothing happens. Matsuda looks at Lissandra, who just shrugs. The fans get restless when the speakers kick on with….. ~
"BIBLE CLUB! FOFOFOFO-FOR GOD!"
Vanessa: Can we legally get away with this?
Alice: Maybe we're protected by parody laws?
~ The Yard erupts with cheers as the poppy beat of Britney Spears' "Oops!... I Did it Again" plays over the sound system and The Technical Virgin known as Chastity Temple makes her way out onto the ramp!! She is wearing her trademark short, plaid skirt and a tightly fitting "BIBLE CLUB" T-shirt. She walks into The Yard but pauses halfway down the grass. She turns and points back at the house. The cheers get louder as John E. Depth steps out from behind the curtain! He stretches out his arms to proudly display his Bible Club shirt! He's holding several shirts in his hands. ~
Lissandra: From Topeka, Kansas… being accompanied by John E. Depth….standing 5’4 and weighing in at 108lbs…"God's Girlfriend" Chastity Temple!!!
~ Chastity and Depth run up to each other and high five! Depth then starts throwing "Bible Club" T-shirts to the fans as the pair make their way to the ring. They slide in the ring as Lissandra exits and Matsuda stands in the corner unimpressed. Depth and Chastity drop to their knees in the middle of the ring and fold their hands as if praying. The fans are ready, they know what's coming next. Depth and Chastity both jump to their feet with their arms spread wide like a cross!! ~
Fans/Depth/Chastity: BIBLE CLUB, BAYBAY!!!
~ Matsuda doesn't seem to be impressed in the least. Depth leaves the ring and Annie checks both wrestlers before calling for the bell. The bell rings and the match is underway! Matsuda and Temple meet in the middle of the ring and lock up. Matsuda gets the advantage in the test of strength and pushes Temple back. Chasity moves forward to lock up again, but stumbles back and falls on her butt when Matsuda throws a roundhouse kick at her head! Matsuda gets both feet on the ground and smirks at the shaken Temple. The fans cheer the show of cockiness. ~
Vanessa: If Chastity didn't step back, this match would be over already.
Alice: I wouldn't count out Temple just yet. I fought her before and she's surprisingly tough.
~ Chastity gets up to her feet, feeling more pain to her pride than from the fall. She rushes at Matsuda, who sidesteps and grabs Chastity around the waist. She attempts to German Suplex her opponent, but Chastity rotates fully, landing on her feet!! Matsuda lands on her back but quickly kips up to her feet. She turns to face Chastity, who charges in and KNEES Matsuda right in the face!!! Matsuda falls to her back hard. She rolls around holding her face as Chastity panders to the crowd! ~
Alice: It seems that despite being away from the wrestling life for a long time, Temple has no ring rust.
Vanessa: Matsuda definitely didn't expect that knee to the face!
~ Matsuda gets to her feet, holding her face in pain. Temple rushes forward and leaps in the air with a Rear Window. Matsuda ducks and Temple’s ass hits the ropes! She bounces forward, stumbling on her feet. Matsuda charges ahead, looking for a bulldog. Temple throws her off. Matsuda hits the ropes, ricochets toward Chastity and throws a running sidekick! Temple doubles over as Matsuda's foot connects with her stomach! Matsuda quickly gets her footing and snatches Temple's head. Before Temple can do anything, she gets dropped with a lightning quick D.D.T.! Matsuda goes for the pin as Depth tries to get Temple to rally. ~
~ Temple kicks out and Matsuda stays on the offensive. She locks in a sleeper hold and Chastity's arms start flailing around as she struggles! Depth starts pounding on the mat to encourage Chastity and the fans clap in time to the mat pounding. ~
Vanessa: Depth and the fans are trying to get Temple to come back here.
Alice: I don't know if she can. Temple took that hard D.D.T. and is now getting choked out. She might be more done that Hood's integrity.
Vanessa: He never had any to begin with.
Alice: Such a ratings killer.
~ Temple fights against the sleeper, but her arms start moving slower. Depth shows a look of worry before running into the house. People look at him in confusion, but quickly turn their attention back to the match! Chastity arms slump to the mat. Annie looks at her for a minute before realizing she's the ref and has to check Temple. Annie lifts Temple's arm up and it falls to the mat. Depth runs out of the house holding a book. He runs back to ringside and slides the book next to Matsuda and Temple. Vanessa lifts up Temple's arm again and it falls for a second time. Her hand lands on the book Depth tossed in and her fingers slowly tighten around it! Her arm starts to shake as she forces herself and Matsuda up! Matsuda tries to keep the sleeper locked in, but gets an elbow to the stomach for her troubles! And another! And yet ANOTHER! Matsuda releases Temple and holds her sore midsection. Chastity lifts the book up with both hands and we see it's…A BIBLE!! Chastity is overjoyed as she starts to BIBLE UP! The good book is filling her with energy! Temple let's out a "BIBLE CLUB, BAYBAY!" to the delight of the fans. ~
Alice: Disqualify that woman!
Vanessa: Why? She's only holding up the Bible. She hasn't used it as a weapon yet.
Alice: But she's getting strength from God! Divine interference is still outside interference!
Vanessa: ….. I see no flaw in your logic.
~ Temple turns and takes a mighty swing at Matsuda's head with the Bible! Matsuda ducks and Temple stumbles forward; losing her balance. She turns around after regaining her footing, only to be quickly dropped with a roundhouse kick to the face! The Bible falls out of Chastity's hands as she drops to the mat! Matsuda grabs her opponent and lifts her up to a kneeling position. Matsuda then gets in a Tajiri-esq stance and drills Temple in the temple with a Buzzsaw Kick!! Chastity is out like a light as she crumples to the mat. Matsuda covers her as Annie makes the count! ~
Lissandra: Here is your winner…. MATSUDA!
~ Matsuda bows to Temple as The Yardies cheer. Depth looks besides himself as he drags Temple out of the ring and carries her to the house. We cut away to a commercial for the Make-A-Wish Foundation! ~
LADY PENELOPE vs CANCER
Vanessa: This is it, folks! Main event time!
Alice: Woo! Home stretch!
Vanessa: This all started with a young lady who was part of the Make-A-Wish program wanting to meet an Outsider wrestler of all things!
Alice: And like most things when Zybala is involved, it just snowballed. At least this is something heartwarming.
Vanessa: Let's go to Lissandra!
Lissandra: The following match is your main event of the night, and it's scheduled for One Fall!!!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
~ Zybala, Dean, Mitch and The Mariachis exit the house. Mitch and the Mariachis are all holding Roman Candles up in the air while Dean and Zybala are holding 5-10 sparklers in each hand. "When You're Evil" starts up and the crowd begins to cheer as the group light the fuses. From inside the house steps Matsuda and Lord Allton in his leg braces. On his shoulders (like Preston '10' Vance does with -1) sits Lady Penelope with her arms raised and a huge smile on her face. The crowd cheers louder when they see the young lady. The sparkles go off behind the trio as Roman Candles erupt on the sides of the ramp. ~
Lissandra: Making her way to the ring... being accompanied by Matsuda and Lord Allton........The Cancer Killer! Lady Penelope!
~ Allton sets Penny down and gives her a big hug mouthing to her "Are you ready for this?" Penny nods and then fist bumps Allton. Penny raises her arms as the small fireworks go off around her. Then she and Matsuda then make their way to the ring while Allton stays by the house applauding. At the ring, Lissandra holds open the ropes for Penny and high fives her after Penny climbs through. The crowd cheers loudly as Penny raises her arms. She spots her parents on the front row, who are cheering the loudest. She shoots Allton one final glance before he raises an arm with a grin saying "you got this!" and heads back inside the house with the firework group. Penny then stands by Lissandra as Matsuda looks on intently from ringside. ~
Lissandra: and her opponent…. The scourge of the world…. Cancer!!
~ Never has a louder boo been heard in The Yard. No music plays as a tall man ( it's Vincenzo) walks out in a ugly, lumpy, gray full-body suit, face covering and all. He lumbers to the ring in a dramatic fashion. He plays up to the boos of the fans as he cups a hand to his ear. Cancer gets to the ring and steps over the top rope to get in. He towers over the young girl. Lissandra gives Penny a wink before leaving the ring as Annie calls for the bell to start the match.~
Alice: This is all scripted, right? I know Zybala is a bit bonkers, but he wouldn't let an actual match like this happen. Would he?
Vanessa: I certainly hope not. That's a lawsuit I don't want to be a part of.
~ Penny looks up at Cancer and charges at him with no fear! Cancer merely side steps and steps over the girl and lets out a booming laugh. Penny recovers quickly and turns to take a swing at Cancer, who puts a hand on her head and holds her at bay. Penny swings her fist but can't connect due to the size difference. Cancer then drops his hand and lets Penny stumble forward. He then scoops her up sideways and lifts her high. The crowd gasps as Cancer brings Penny down across his knee, but lets out a sigh of relief when Cancer slows down and gently places Penny across his knee with a "backbreaker." The crowd boos as Penny rolls on to the mat, selling the move. ~
Vanessa: Oh thank God.
Alice: So glad I won't have to take the witness stand.
~ Penny rolls around writhing in "pain" as Cancer poses for the booing crowd. She slowly gets to her feet and kicks Cancer in the back of the calf. Cancer turns around, no-selling the kick, and laughs at Penny. Penny keeps kicking and punching at his legs but Cancer lifts the child up over his head for a powerbomb. Penny rains tiny fists onto Cancer's head and Cancer starts to stagger. The Yardies are cheering Penny to keep up the assault as Cancer falls back into a corner and slumps against the turnbuckles. Penny climbs off of Cancer (with a little help from the big guy) and stands on the top turnbuckle. Cancer turns to face Penny and swings at her, bit Penny blocks and grabs Cancer in a front facelock. She leaps off the top turnbuckle and brings Cancer to the mat with a Tornado D.D.T.!! A roar of approval comes from the crowd as Cancer lands face first into the mat! Penny pushes him to his back and makes the cover. She tries to hook the leg, but is too small. Annie makes the count… ~
~ Cancer kicks out and Annie holds up two fingers. Penny crawls off, and smacks the mat in disappointment. She gets to her feet and starts stomping away at Cancer while Matsuda shouts words of encouragement from ringside. ~
Vanessa: Despite the size difference, Penny is taking it to Cancer.
Alice:.... Are we supposed to be playing along with this?
Vanessa: I think so… I am at least.
Alice: Okie dokie… But how long can Penny keep this up? Can she actually put Cancer away?
~ Cancer blocks one of the kicks and pushes the child away. He stands up and wraps a hand around her neck! Penny tries to fight back but Cancer lifts her high up and brings her down in the least devastating Chokeslam ever! Penny is flat on the mat as Cancer covers her, making sure not to crush the young lady under his weight. Annie jumps in position.. ~
~ Penny gets a shoulder up at the last minute. Cancer acts nonplussed as he gets up and grabs Penny's leg. He flips Penny to her stomach and locks in an ankle lock! The crowd boos as Penny cries out in pain as she reaches for the ropes. Annie asks her if she wants to give up to Cancer, but Penny shouts "NEVER!" Matsuda starts rhythmically pounding on the mat and the fans clap in time, trying to rally Penny! Penny crawls on the mat, stretching her arm toward the ropes. Her fingers touch the bottom rope but Cancer pulls her away as the crowd boos! He tries to lock in the hold again but Penny rolls to her back and kicks at Cancer's hand with her free leg. Cancer releases her foot and backs away, shaking his hand in pain. Annie checks to see if Penny is OK as the kid uses the ropes to get to her feet. Cancer, seeing Penny standing now, lowers his head and "charges" at her. Penny dives out of the way as Cancer "spears" Annie by accident. Annie dramatically falls to the mat and is "out cold." ~
Alice: Ref's out! Anything can happen now!
Vanessa: Cancer is taking advantage of that. He just bodyslammed Penny and left the ring!
~ Cancer is digging under the ring, searching for something. Boos fill The Yard as Cancer stands up holding a chair! Matsuda runs over to yell at him, but backs away when Cancer swings the chair at her. Cancer goes to push the chair in the ring, but it's smashed into his face, courtesy of a baseball slide from Penny! Cancer staggers back, dropping the chair. Matsuda runs over and pushes Cancer back into the ring. She then pulls something out of her pocket and tosses it to Penny. Penny catches the object and puts it in her hand. It's a pair of brass knuckles! The Yardies cheer as Penny holds her fist high. Cancer slowly pushes himself up on his hands and knees, as Penny brings the fist down into the side of Cancer's face with her own L.A.G. punch! Cancer falls to the mat, rolling to his back. ~
Alice: Cancer tried to use a chair and Penny raises him a pair of brass knux!!
Vanessa: Cover him, kid!
~ Penny jumps on Cancer, making the cover! A "recovering" Annie lifts her head and sees the pin. She crawls over and dramatically begins a pained slow count. ~
~ The bell rings as the fans explode with cheers! Penny's parents run in the ring and hug their daughter. ~
Lissandra: Here is your winner by beating cancer…. "THE CANCER KILLER!" LADY PENELOPE!!
~ The Yardies cheer louder as Penny is lifted up onto her parents shoulders. Allton walks back into The Yard and goes ringside. He and Matsuda get in the ring as Vincenzo takes off the Cancer mask. They circle Penny and start clapping for the Make-A-Wish child. Vincenzo starts up a "Penny" chant that everyone joins. Penny has tears in her eyes at this. ~
Vanessa: A heart warming end to an odd night.
Alice: That was the last match?
~ Alice stands up and walks away. Vanessa shrugs and follows her lead. The camera focuses once more on Penny and her family and friends celebrating in the ring as the scene fades to black. ~