Sunday Night Murder

[Random OCW TV Stuff]

Welcome to the murder fed. Its the fed where people DIE.



I’m your host, Tommy Flamer.



Fan: LOL that’s a dumb name.



Flamer: FUCK YOU BITCH



~Flamer lights himself on fire to kill the fan but winds up incinerating himself. He dies~



Welcome BACK to the murder fed. I’m your host, Tommy Crimson.



~He looks around, suspiciously. Nothing happens. He continues speaking with his stupid voice~



Crimson: And tonight we have a great card full of murder and death! So, let’s get to our first match as GUTS will take on Disemboweled! This is a pretty big grudge match...so enjoy!



~GUTS and Disemboweled are inside the murder ring which has blood stains everywhere and is probably infected with some new disease that will shut the entire world down again. GUTS pulls out a gun and shoots Disemboweled in the belly. He dies, spilling blood and guts all over the ring~



Murder fans: GUTS! GUTS! GUTS!



Crimson: Yes, that was a great show!


Fan: HEY THAT SHOW WAS LAME!



Crimson: FUCK YOU BITCH



~Crimson goes after this fan but is instantly murdered once he hops the guardrail~



Welcome back to murder fed, I’m your host Chance Von Crank or whatever.



~Von Crank or whatever pauses, eyeing the fans. He waits for an insult~



Chance: Okay, so we can get to business. Our next match features two of our top talents. In one corner we’ll have Decapitation and in the other corner we’ll have Lethal Ejaculation! Let’s see who comes out on top!



~We cut to the ring. The announcer tries to do his thing but he’s instantly murdered via gun shot from the timekeeper. Weird. I was told they got along. Oh well, LOLmurderfed. Anyway, the time keeper rings the bell...it instantly explodes, killing him. Lethal Ejaculation ejaculates and dies. Decapitation wins.



Chance: Wow! What action! In the murder fed ANYTHING can happen!



~Chance spins around~



Chance: Look how neat and cool I am.



Fan: You look like a nerd!!!



Chance: Ay! FUCK YOU BITCH!



~Chance tries hopping the guardrail but fails and breaks his neck, dying instantly. We’ll still chalk it up as a murder.~



Welcome back to murder fed, I’m your host Eddie Poe.



~Poe looks around, suspiciously~



Eddie Poe: Great, it’s so nice to be taken…



Fan: LOL POE? What’s your catch phrase? NEVERMORE?



Eddie Poe: Why you little shit! FUCK YOU BITCH



~Poe rushes into the crowd only to get eaten alive by a group of cannibals. Huge murder fed fans, cannibals. A real untapped source of marketing~



And welcome back to the murder fed! I’m your host, Eddie MURDER MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA



~He laughs like this for a really long time, trying to look deranged and super unsettling...kinda like an old mccauley culkin...or however you spell his name~



Eddie Murder: Anything? ANYTHING?



~nothign~



Eddie Murder: Yea, that’s what I thought...PUSSIES. Okay, on to our main event...this is likely to go down as the greatest match in Murder fed history. The murder fed champion, [insert first name] Bundy will take on Gas Chamber!! I can’t wait!



~The match happens. [insert first name] Bundy tries to lure Gas Chamber into his corner but Gas Chamber doesn’t find Bundy attractive or convincing. So, Gas Chamber remains standing. A run in happens by DRIVE BY and he shoots [insert first name] Bundy dead with his semi-automatic bb gun. The crowd is stunned~



Eddie Murder: I can’t believe it! A new champion! Gas Chamber is the murder fed champ!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA



Fan: Hey, that laugh is kinda annoying and doesn’t really make you seem all that scary. Nothing does, really.



Eddie Murder: FUCK YOU BITCH



~Murder runs into the crowd to fight...but a speaker falls on him, crushing the dude instantly. The fans rejoice. And then Gas Chamber rips a massive fart...the stench kills everyone, including himself~



FIN

[zybala]

....... How would you like to be a writer for Outsiders?

[Thaddeus Duke]

That haus is wack.

[ROUND II | Ross Hanson]

Still better than Monday Night RAW