Post by Grace Rimmer on Aug 1, 2021 13:24:18 GMT -5
~We cut to the OCW Studio! It’s been awhile since we’ve seen THIS color scheme...yes, The Who’Re Report is BACK! Grace Rimmer sits in her giant, plush V chair, conveying that colossus grin with those bright, vapid eyes piercing through the camera’s lens and into our souls. A defeated, disgruntled AKB leans forward, his ass wedged into the ‘P’ chair. His elbow digs into his knee with his chin dumped into a lazy palm~
Grace Rimmer: Hello again and welcome to another edition of The Who’Re Report! I’m your host Grace Rimmer and with me, as always, is Alpha Kenny Body!
~AKB barely moves~
Grace Rimmer: It’s good to see you too, Alpha! Today we’re going to discuss a huge rumor that’s been circulating the OCW offices. We’ll also take a look at the official OCW Title contenders rankings! Who’s next in line? We’ll find out!
~AKB releases a sigh dripping with boredom~
Grace Rimmer: Thanks for reminding me, AKB! We’ll also discuss MY top five breakout stars who will be household names by the end of THE MARGARITA MIX! And, having said that…
~Grace snaps her fingers. AKB tosses a brief glare her way before rising and heading to a Margarita Mixer~
Grace Rimmer: Let’s get into it...firs topic, right off the bat...Betsy Granger!
~Huge ovation from the all female audience in attendance~
Grace Rimmer: Betsy made her shocking debut this past Sunday at House of Cards and, in doing so, defeated Vhodka Black and, especially, that horrible man, Mack O’Connor. Her prize? The OCW TransAtlantic Championship! After the match, that vile heathen Tony Savage finally did something right...he offered Betsy a contract, making her a full fledged member of OCW!
~The Mixer churns a bunch of shit together. Grace is annoyed~
Grace Rimmer: ALPHA! Could you keep it down, PLEASE?
~AKB is like ‘it’s a mixer, what do you want me to do?’ Grace does a grinding motion with her hand. AKB grits his teeth and begins to physically ground the ice into mush~
Grace Rimmer: Men. Am I right?
~The audience goes wild and laughs as Grace gives a ‘waddya gonna do?’ face~
Grace Rimmer: Betsy Granger will now head to Under the Lights to finish that deviant, Mack O’Connor off once and for all. And, afterward, he's hopefully sent back to jail where his misogynistic ass belongs!!
Grace Rimmer: We’re all pulling for you, Betsy!
~A ‘Betsy’ chant fills the studio. Grace looks over at AKB...he’s really working hard to smash up that ice. She grunts...this margarita is taking longer than she desires. But, she continues~
Grace Rimmer: Now, moving on to the biggest, juiciest, thickest rumor running wild in OCW
~All the women in the crowd shift around, crossing their legs when they hear the adjectives used to describe this rumor~
Grace Rimmer: It appears Chelsea LeClair MAY be in talks with OCW about returning! I’ve heard LeClair is looking for a new place to call home and, well, no place feels more like home to Chelsea than OCW! Chelsea defeated Skye Hill a year ago, officially retiring that appalling women’s title, which was used for so long to pigeonhole us ladies into a separate category. She’s a warrior.
~Huge cheers for Chelsea~
Grace Rimmer: So, will Chelsea LeClair return to OCW? If she does, I’d expect it to happen at Under the Lights. And, I for one hope it does because LeClair, a former GCWA Champion, is just what this company needs. She’s an instant main event player anywhere she goes. Come on back to OCW, Chelsea! We miss ya!
~The entire audience agrees. AKB stops churning the ice and shakes his right hand...its getting kinda sore~
Grace Rimmer: Alpha! I know Rome wasn’t built in a day...but it would’ve taken longer if the builders were as lazy as you are! Get back to work!
~AKB considers hurling the stone grinder in his hand at Grace...but he spots diVersity lingering nearby and realizes he’d probably get murdered if he did such a thing. So, he goes back to work~
Grace Rimmer: Our next piece of business revolves around the OCW Championship. At Under the Lights, Xavier Lux will once again defend his OCW Title. This time, against his nemesis, Outcast. Outcast earned this shot by defending his Paradigm Title against Dylan Thomas at House of Cards. This will be, without a doubt, the most high profile match since OCW’s return. A main event with talent, hype, and personal animosity. The three ingredients that are often used to create an in-ring classic!
~The crowd nods with approval. This DOES sound like a hell of a match~
Grace Rimmer: But, our visionary leader, Who’Re is always looking ahead. So, who is next in line. Who gets the winner of Lux and Outcast? I’m told the order shakes out like this: Peter Vaughn, Thaddeus Duke, and Dylan Thomas. If Vaughn wins, he’s in. If Vaughn loses and Duke wins, Duke is in. If both Vaughn and Duke lose, Thomas gets the OCW Title shot.
~This all makes sense~
Grace Rimmer: Three tremendous options that will no doubt have the winner of this month’s OCW Title match concerned the moment their victory celebration comes to an end.
~AKB heads toward Grace. He’s got a Margarita. He hands it over. She visually dissects it~
Grace Rimmer: Is this how I specified.
~He nods, collapsing into his ‘P’ chair and rubbing his sore, tired right arm~
Grace Rimmer: It better be.
~She sniffs her drink, giving AKB a very suspicious eye. Slowly, she sets the drink down~
Grace Rimmer: Before I wrap up this edition of the Who’Re Report...I’d like to take a look at five Mix competitors who I think will be break out stars by the tournament’s end. And, by breakout, I’m talking in terms of OCW notoriety. I’m sure each of these competitors are superstars in every other promotion they call home.
~Grace reaches for her Margarita~
Grace Rimmer: First off, Tara Fenix. Did you catch her promo a few days ago? If not, you MUST. I loved it! This woman does not mince words. There’s just something about her...and I think she’s going to carry that Moscato guy deep into this tournament.
~Grace brings the Margarita nearer~
Grace Rimmer: And how about Bianca McBride, right? She’s leading the team that’s the odds on favorite to win...isn’t that great?
~The crowd goes wild~
Grace Rimmer: Bianca oozes star quality. I hope she goes all the way and signs a long term deal with OCW. I’m a HUGE McBride fan!
~Grace raises her Margarita~
Grace Rimmer: Ciela Luiz is another one! No competitor is more eager and excited about the Mix than Ciela. And while I’m not a fan of her partner...I have no doubt Luiz is going to show out and unveil her skills to the wrestling world by competing in the Mix. It also sounds like Ciela wants a full time contract...you know what I say? Sign her up!
~A ‘Sign Her Up’ chant starts. Grace, about to drink her Margarita, waves it around in unison with the chant~
Grace Rimmer: And then there’s Dolly Waters. Again, she’s stuck with one of those Mariachi brothers. But, that’s okay...because Dolly has more than enough talent to overcome that anchor. Waters is just what OCW needs and I’m all for Dolly reaching the finals and taking the Mix for herself!
~More cheers from the audience! Grace raises her Margarita~
Grace Rimmer: Which brings me to Atara Themis. She’s Greek...and while I abhor the archaic practices of Greek life on college campuses...objectifying women as if they are a bunch of drunken prizes ripe for the taking any night of the week.
~Grace’s eyes narrow. She endures a flashback to her days as one of the most popular members of the Zeta sorority~
Grace Rimmer: I think Atara is here to SMASH what is generally thought of when a beautiful woman of Greek heritage enters a room. She’s also looking to SMASH the balls of Jason Cashe...which, I’m totally here for!
~ “WOOOO!!” go the women in attendance~
Grace Rimmer: Themis is a bonafide star. A fact that will be made crystal clear once we witness her compete in THE MIX!
~Rimmer brings the Margarita to her mouth~
Grace Rimmer: Other competitors I’m excited to watch in the Mix are...Talia Areano, Lexi Gold, Lily Lopez, Vicky Stone, and...Miss Fury, I guess. Ladies, you show them how it’s done!
~The lights begin to dim. The music signaling we’re coming to an end begins to play~
Grace Rimmer: Thank you for watching another edition of The Who’Re Report! I’m Grace Rimmer saying...so long!
~She takes a sip of her Margarita and instantly spits it out~
Grace Rimmer: ALPHA! I ASKED FOR CRUSHED ICE, THIS ICE ISN'T…
~We cut away in the middle of her tirade~