Current Condition Of The Janitor

[petervaughn]

*We go live to a shot from the local hospital. Which hospital, you ask? Why would you ask that? WHY would you need to know that particular information?? What, you want to track down Peter Vaughn and hurt him?? What's WRONG with you?!?! Just... leave it at that he's at a local hospital, that should be enough for you, god damn it!! *ahem* At this local hospital, we see intrepid reporter Jones looking for a scoop, as he sneaks near Peter Vaughn's hospital room. However, he quickly stops when he sees an annoyed-looking Jonathan "Pryde" Barrows waiting for him. Opting just to go with it, Jones approaches Barrows, waving the cameraman on.*

Jones: Hello, Mr. Barrows! I was hoping to get a word with you!

Jonathan Barrows: Sure you were, Jones. You wouldn't dare be trying to get footage of Vaughn in the hospital, violating HIPAA standards.

Jones: ... Would that be a HIPAA violation? I don't think that it would be...

Jonathan Barrows: ... Hell, I don't know. Anyway, what can I do for you?

Jones: Oh, well, can you tell us Peter Vaughn's current condition? Or would that be a violation?

*Barrows scowls at Jones, but then relents, knowing people are going to keep asking.*

Jonathan Barrows: Peter's doing okay, considering the war he was just involved in. That traitorous bastard who pretended to be an intelligent businessman, Thaddickless Duke, broke Vaughn's nose for no reason. I had heard stories that Duke was actually a complete asshole with no brains whatsoever, and he proved that last night. And that was just step one.

*Barrows shakes his head, remembering that first move.*

Jonathan Barrows: Of course, then you had Mike Zybala going back on his word as well. I think we all expected that to happen, since Zybala has never been able to keep his word to Peter in the past. Obviously, this was just one more example of how Zybala had been using Peter all along. He probably paid off Duke to attack Peter, knowing he had no chance to defeat him one-on-one.

Jones: But Vaughn had help as well during the match...

Jonathan Barrows: Peter fought back with every bit of intestinal fortitude he could generate. While spitting blood and dealing with some severe internal injuries from Zybala's ruthless attack, Peter never backed down. When his right ankle was damaged by having to save himself from Zybala crushing him with ladder rungs, Vaughn just found the strength to stand on his left. It was truly inspirational, watching him come back from FOUR Zybala Superkicks to single-handedly climb that ladder and regain his championship.

Jones: So you're ignoring Outcast's attacks on Zybala, as well as Dylan Thomas pushing Vaughn up the ladder?

*Barrows looks even angrier at the mention of Dylan Thomas' name.*

Jonathan Barrows: You mean the THIRD man of the evening who went back on his word? I remember Lissandra being smarter than that. I guess she's taken one too many hits to the head thanks to Dylan's inability to protect her. She's lost all perspective on being a true wrestling manager. Talk about idiotic, attacking Peter right before he was going to help you win. No wonder Dylan lost his chance at a championship. He got what he deserved.

Jones: Some would say Dylan & Lissandra's decision was based on your attack on Lord Allton back at Dystopia 21.

Jonathan Barrows: Lissandra should have realized that business came first tonight. It's her fault completely that Dylan Thomas is likely to be released from OCW because he's been worthless his entire time here. No titles in multiple months really is going to hurt her negotiations, won't it? Stupid woman...

Jones: There was one man who Vaughn seemed to be able to work with: the OCW Champion, Xavier Lux.

Jonathan Barrows: Thank God there was one decent individual there other than Peter & myself. Lux did exactly what an ally should do, helping Peter survive Zybala's treachery. And then, during Lux's match, Vaughn fulfilled his end of the deal, just as he would have done for Duke and Thomas. If I'm being honest, I was worried about Peter's physical condition and told him not to go back out there. After all, Lux saw what he'd been through, I think he would have understood. But Peter wouldn't hear it. He gave his word to Xavier and it needed to mean something. His courage inspired so many, including me, getting me to go to the ring as well to help him keep his promise.

Jones: You also contributed a taser to the mix.

*Barrows' hand twitches near the side of his jacket. Presumably, he's got a new taser on him, or else he's just having a flashback. Either way, Jones, takes a slight step backwards, prepared to run if needed and leave the cameraman behind.*

Jonathan Barrows: I have many enemies, Jones. It's just a method of protection. Anyhow, I needed to do my part for such a courageous act. Of course, the cowardly Thomas couldn't stand to see it, getting involved once more, but I know Peter is extremely happy that Xavier retained his title.

Jones: So after all that, how long do you think Peter Vaughn will be hospitalized?

Jonathan Barrows: Physically, he could probably go home now to rest, but they're taking some precautions after the nature of his injuries to make sure nothing else... goes wrong. After all, his mental state right now is, well, not the best after having so many people betray him in one night. I just hope the OCW realizes what they've done. If you thought Vaughn was a terror before, you boys haven't seen anything yet.

*A groan can be heard from nearby. The cameraman instinctively moves to get a look inside the hospital room, but Barrows quickly intercepts him.*

Jonathan Barrows: And now, if you'd please give Peter his recovery time. I'm sure he'll talk to you all later in the week.

*Barrows goes through the doorway and shuts it behind him, keeping out the pesky cameraman. Jones shrugs as the camera turns towards him.*

Jones: So there you have it. Peter Vaughn is still recovering from the events of House of Cards, having taken one of the worst beatings of the night, but he can still proclaim himself the OCW Craze Champion. That's worth celebrating once he's out of here. Back to you in the studio.

*Jones lowers the mic and points in the other direction, and the two men head out.*