Dolly Waters/H Malvado vs. Crane/Vinegar

[Marcus Welsh]

Roleplay Window: Thursday, August 5th - Tuesday, August 10th. 6 days to post 1 rp PER team member. 1k word cap. 150 word overage buffer. Anything over results in a DQ. Match will air on the August 11th episode of Piledriver.

Please post your rps as a reply to this thread.

Winning team will face the winners of the Anthony Cross/Mike Mason vs. Kai Morgan/Ravana match.

[Deleted]

A very fancy elevator is making it's way up to the very top floor.

Relaxing Jazz music plays from the speakers on the ceiling softly.

There is a mirror in this elevator, and in it, we see a man wearing a red straight jacket bouncing off the mahogany walls of the elevator, screaming at the top of his lungs, words that cannot be made out.

His eyes are full of coldness and rage.

But the man who stands across from that very mirror, the man who's reflection is raging uncontrollably, is anything but.

That man wears a black suit with a silver shirt and a stripped tie that puts the ensemble together nicely.

His hair is blonde and short.

His eyes are very blue and very cold.

He is, Douglas Crane.

He adjusts the cuff of his shirt and then looks up calmly at the numbers on the elevator as one by one they light up, getting closer and closer to the top. Unlike a normal elevator where the "L" for lobby is at the bottom of the floors, this one is at the top of the 60 story plus panel. The sequence of the numbers is all over the place as well, instead of going from 1 to whatever starting at the bottom, the numbers are all jumbled and no real sequence can be identified.

He turns his gaze to the madness in the mirror and stares at it with his mesmerizing gaze and waits for his reflection to meet his eyes and when it does, the reflection goes completely still.

They stare into each other's eyes for a good long minute before the reflection begins repeating the same words it was just screaming at the top of his lungs.

Except that this time, he whispers them.

Except that this time, his words can be heard.

Release me.... Release me... Release me...
Release me.... Release me... Release me...

Crane adjusts his other cuffs without taking his eyes off his reflection, and then answers.

Crane: All in due time. Right now it is not your time, it is mine. It is my time to rise to the top and introduce us not only to the wrestling world, but specially to our very first opponents in this thing called the Margarita Mix.

The reflection starts going crazy again, bouncing off the walls, repeating two very different sets of words.

The Malvados...The Malvados...The Malvados...
The Malvados...The Malvados...The Malvados...

Crane: One of them anyway, Hector I believe, not that it matters as they are both identical in every possible way. His brother has already been victorious in the tournament, so for anyone of us that was taking the twin tag team champions from Online Championship Wrestling lightly, his brother has shown that they mean business regardless of who they tag with. We can definitely expect the same type of competitive effort from his brother, if not more as he is now feeling the pressure of Victor having advanced. Hector will tough to deal with, but not impossible to do so. Hector did not come out with his brother for his match, so I doubt Victor will come out to his. So I can handle him as long as my partner is able to step up and assist with Ms. Waters.

The reflection paces back and forth never taking its eyes of Crane who stops speaking to it. It begins repeating a few other words now.

She wants to play with the dolly... She wants to play with the dolly... She wants to play with the dolly...
She wants to play with the dolly... She wants to play with the dolly... She wants to play with the dolly...

Crane: Absolutely not, it is my time! She's had her fun playing around long enough... My partner will handle Dolly Waters as I said, and if he can't then I will. She might be the stronger of the two though, she is the one with the wrestling pedigree even if she has never been a tag team champion as far as I can tell. She is but a baby, not even 21 yet but still she has done more in her wrestling career than most do in their entire lifetime. She is definitely a puzzle, or more like, two sides of a coin; on one side you have youth but on the other side you have experience. On one side you have a stellar wrestling career, on the other you have not really being known for being a tag team wrestler. When I flip this coin, which side will be the one that it land on? That could definitely be the deciding factor.

The reflection stops moving but continues to stare at Douglas Crane across from him.

Crane nods.

Crane: You're right, what will definitely be the deciding factor is if our partner is able to hold up their end of the deal.

Victor Vinegar... Victor Vinegar... Victor Vinegar...
Victor Vinegar... Victor Vinegar... Victor Vinegar...

Crane: I believe his name is Vic, could be Victor, could be Viceroy, could be Victoria, who knows, who cares? Vic just better not be like his name suggest and sour up on us and not show up. We want to use Vic as much as we can to get to the finals, and if we happen to make it there, then we will deal with him... But until then, Vic needs to show up and show out, or he will have more than hell to pay.

We have worked way too hard to finally make our debut.

We have worked way too hard to break free.

The reflection starts to act up again, bouncing off the walls, repeating those same words from the very beginning...

Release me.... release me... release me...
Release me.... release me... release me...

The elevator dings and both look up, both then go back to staring at each other and Crane smiles.

Crane: Soon.

The reflection smiles back.

Crane turns his back on his reflection, facing the doors as they open wide. The reflection just watches on as a bright light engulfs Crane as he walks out.

[Dolly Waters]

The camera fades into some cliché setting for a wrestling shoot promo. A gym, or a dark room off to the side of a gym.

Still not as cliché as walking down the beach, or a sit down interview, but we’re just not going to think a lot about this okay?

Dark room, we’ll go with dark room cliché. And in this dark room we see Dolly Waters. The inexplicable teenage wrestling phenom who has been cracking the skulls of grown men since before puberty.



She stretches a roguish smile across her lips and addresses the camera,


OCW Universe…



How y’all doin?


The tone of her refined Appalachian draw has a genuine, playful sarcasm in each beat,


My name is Dolly Waters, and fer’ the first time in my career, I’ll be stepping out of the XWF and heading on down to Key West… Mixing it up on OCW programming.


An over accented wink with a thumbs up.


Yer’ welcome in advance!

Because what you can expect from my presence, is the most spectacular show on earth.

Believe it.

Full stop.

No shit.

I’m going to burn down that arena just like I have arenas the world-over with my talent.

You can also go ahead and expect to see me and my tag partner crowned the winners of the Margarita Mix. Now I don’t drink alcohol anymore, but cosmopolitans were my ISH! Makes sense, I guess.

In recent weeks I’ve competed in the most renowned wrestling event In the world, XWF War Games, where I joined a team of mismatched peers and helped lead said team to the finals.

What happened in those finals?

I pinned the better half of the XWF and OCW Tag Team Champions, Bobby Bourbon, clean in the ring. You think I don’t have experience in pulling an odd-couple tag team pairing together and achieving success?

I competed in, nay, was THE star of XWFs Lethal Lottery 4… when I was 14. Even then, where I got paired with a new blind partner every week, I still made the finals of that tournament. In OCW’s Mix Tournament, I’ll be paired up with the same partner all the way until we win the whole kit and kaboodle.

Hector Malvado is a four time tag champion! It’s like they’re just handing this tournament victory over to this team. It ain’t gonna’ matter if he can speak English or not, because as soon as I hit the ring with him, we’ll be sharing a one track mind. I didn’t have any four time tag champions on my War Games team, or on my Lethal Lottery 4 teams. What in the heck do you think is going to happen now?

I’ll throw myself in harms way, I’ll take a bullet for my partner, I’ll give him every once of my ability to see to it that we win the Mix, and if I get even half of that level of dedication in return, I have no doubt that we’re winning not just this opening match, but the whole tournament. I have a knack for working with new partners, and driving them to compete at my level.

This is who I am…

This is what I do…

These are the moments I was born for…

Ask your newest undercard champion, Betsy Granger…

She couldn’t put away Bobby Bourbon at War Games, but Dolly Waters did. She went on a public apology tour telling everyone how sorry she was that she didn’t draft me, and she wasn’t the only team captain who said as much. It’s because they already know what the fans of the OCW are about to find out… Dolly Waters is a natural.

Ask the OCW's 7th ranked competitor, Thad Duke...

If given the opportunity, Thad would have traded two of his teammates for one Dolly Waters in War Games. One of those partners is a former Universal Champion, the other is the nephew of a former Universal Champion. Ask Thad if he made it further than Dolly Waters in War Games, even with an industry GOAT on his team. 


She shakes her head 'no' with a curled lip,


I’ve heard talk that the OCW roster is upset over a couple of XWF guys holding their tag team championships.

Who could blame em?

It’s gotta' feel icky to look at TNGB and know you don’t stand a chance in defeating those boys. Knowing you'll never reclaim the collective testicles of an entire wrestling organization from Bastards' mason jar.

I don’t know the feeling. I SMASHED Bobby Bourbon. I've done it twice. But again, I imagine it must suck.

It’s a shame that the OCW ain’t accepting applications, because the person who is going to take those tag belts back from the Bastards is me, Dolly Waters, and Hector Malvado. I'll be taking my share back to the XWF, while Hector's share will turn into yet another footnote in that man's illustrious tag team resume. 

Y'all go on, say that I'm too confident. Say that it's a wee uncouth for Dolly Waters to speak in such prognostications. Well too bad! I take a look across the aisle at mine and Hector's opponents, and not scorning what I'm sure are respectable careers on both of their parts, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that neither have what it takes to stop me...

Hell, the Crane guy looks like he didn't have the ability to stop his tattoo artist from making his arms look like fresh blacktop in a pothole. Either that, or he was going for the JAX look from Mortal Kombat and just ran out of money and accepted the half-ass result. That type of mentality ain't gonna' cut it with Dolly Waters. The other guy, Vic, he wears a leather jacket without a tshirt to the ring. Yikes.

No chance they're on the same page.

No chance they're winning. 

No Buena bitches!

See I'm already learning Spanish fer' my partner.

Y'all are screwed.

[vicvinegar]

The camera turns on showing the middle of a dilapidated gym. Vic Vinegar flicks the camera a few times with his finger. He then takes a step back. His new abs ripple in his sick duster. He has a black leather hat on. He turns to face the camera and rolls off some sick karate moves across the screen. He does a few more moves as he crosses the path one more time for good measure. He then stops in the middle of the screen.

Vic: “Is this thing on?”

No one answers because Vic is in a room all by himself.

Vic: “I have to do everything here I swear. I have to be a gym owner. I have to be security. I have to be my own cameraman. It is exhausting. When I win this margarita mix I’m buying myself a real team. And pizza. Mostly pizza. Getting jacked for this thing has not been worth it at all.”

Vic moves around the camera. The same movements are easy now. They would’ve left Vic breathless a few minutes later. He rewinds the camera and then fast-forwards it as he moves back to the front of the camera.

Vic: “There we go. Vinegar power. We have this thing up and going. So the Margarita Mix is coming up. At first, I thought it was just a party and I was in. Then I found out what it was and was in even more. Wrestling for Outsiders is fun but it’s not paying the bills. My pizza bill alone was three times what I was getting paid. I’m completely fine with just drinking and being poor but since I'm entered into this thing I decided to become the muscle-bound freak you see before you. That’s right. I am jacked. No fat on my body. This is the body of a winner. Everyone wants to talk shit about Vic. They think I don’t have what it takes to win but I gained and lost fifty pounds in the span of two months to get ready for this thing. If that doesn’t show determination I don’t know what does. Some of you might not think that is possible. Some of you might not think Vic Vinegar and Douglas Crane winning is possible. But first of all, through God all things are possible so I hope Dolly Waters and Hector Malvado jot that down.”

“Douglas Crane is a weird guy. If I was in charge of watching this mix I would probably not let him in. He does not pass the ocular patdown check. I’m glad he’s on my team where he doesn’t have to worry about what my first name is. It’s just Vic, bud. With the scariest guy in the tournament and the sexiest guy in this tournament, we’re a match made in heaven. And we’re going to ride that match all the way to free Margaritas.”

“And then we have these two jabronis this week. Dolly Waters and Hector Malvado. Dolly is going to be too busy staring at these abs to give much of a fight. Typically I don’t like to touch women like at all, but I’m going to jam my thumbs right into her eyes. She hardly even mentioned me. That was pretty rude. All she did was mention XWF. I don’t even know where those letters are by themselves. As a word, I have no idea what it means. She doesn’t know that I’m undefeated in Outsiders. 1-0 in matches where I cared if I won or lost. I understand if she didn’t know that and she hadn’t seen my sick karate moves or my duster beforehand. Now though, I bet she wished she waited to talk.” Vic throws another karate chop for good measure.

“Not even this fake jabroni Hector Malvado can save Dolly. He could have four tag team championships but the jokes on him, he’s not going to get his sixth. Wait. Yeah, that’s right. Six-tag team championships are not in the cards for my ole buddy Hec. The only reason he won all those championships is because he was scared to face me. He said I needed a partner. I told him my buddy Hugh Honey would be ready anytime anywhere. But not for the next five years. Hugh is doing a stint. I wish I would’ve known Douglas back then, we could’ve been champions. Anyway, this jabroni is about to lose and cry back to his brother. Then he’s going to go on Outsiders and lose to the show-stealer, Vic Vinegar. These abs don’t lie and they spell W-H-E-N. That is exactly what we are going to do in this Margarita Mix. And afterward, Douglas Crane is going to drink a margarita off of these abs!”

Vic flexes for dramatic effect. He does some more sick karate moves towards the camera followed by typical karate moves. He knocks down the camera. It hits the ground with a loud thud.

“God, that was so badass. We’re totally winning this thing.”

The camera focuses on the sweeping duster, visible through a cracked lens that the camera sustained in the fall. It then fades to black.

[Deleted]

“In case you missed Victor Malvado’s promo for the Margarita Mix, a brief recap: ESPN El Ocho did a '15 for 15' special (cheaper version of the award-winning '30 for 30' show) on the NOT Mexican tag team specialists and current tag team champions of Outsiders Championship Wrestling. I definitely recommend watching it my amigos. In it, this happened:"

~The brothers appear sitting on a couple of stools with a grayish background behind them, both decked out in their matching wrestling gear and masks, bluish green in color. The names appear in front of each one: "Victor or Hector Malvado".~

"We asked the brothers why enter a tournament in which there was a 99% chance that they wouldn't be teaming with each other. They were confused by this question so we informed them that they would be teamed with someone completely random, and that Victor in fact had been teamed up with Tara Fenix. Hector didn't take this well."

~Hector stands up, rips the mic off and begins arguing with his brother in Spanish and then storms off...~

“It is here where the Brothers split up, and while the interview continued with Victor, we had a separate crew follow Hector as he stormed off the set.”

~A producer comes up to him to try to reason with him but Hector shoves him out of the way. Once he clears the backstage area he goes past the guest rooms, down a hall and right through the exit door. As soon as he gets there, someone grabs his shoulder from behind and he quickly spins around and gets ready to strike when he realizes it is his manager and translator, Vanessa Jimenez.~

Vanessa: Hey, what is wrong with you?! You can’t storm off the set like that!

Hector: Que me pasa?! Que-que me pasa?! Que tu no estas viendo?! El hijo de puta de Victor me a dejado por una pendeja llamada Gata Felix!

Vanessa: Tara Fenix…

Hector: que importa?! Lo que importa es que el quebro nuestro equipo por esa cabrona!

Vanessa: Relax! He didn’t leave you for nobody, you guys are still a tag team! You’re just not a tag team for this tournament.

Hector: oh for reals yo?! 

Vanessa: Huh?

Hector: Que?

~Vanessa tries to explain to Hector what the Margarita Mix is all about and at the same time, get him to relax about the-not-break-up of the Malvados.~

Vanessa: Entiendes? 

Hector: Um, si. Pero, entonces quien es mi compañero para el torneo?

Vanessa: compañera, her name is Dolly Waters.

Hector: oooooh, la de XWF?

Vanessa: Yup.

Hector: Pero es una niña!

Vanessa: Really pendejo?! She has more singles championships than you, and you’re almost 10 years older! 

Hector: Ah si? Y cuantos titulos en pareja tiene?! A ver?

Vanessa: Touché. 

Hector: Tu que?! 

Vanessa: Nevermind, she’s a great partner, even better than Victor’s partner!

Hector: Word?

Vanessa: huh?

Hector: uh, si? Mejor que la de Victor?! Muy bien! Venga Dolly Aguas! Vamos con todo contra qualquiera que nos pongan en frente! Tu la reina en indivudales, y yo, Hector Malvado! Uno de los mejores luchadores en pareja del mundo!

Vanessa: Well…

Hector: Callate! Tu me tienes que apoyar a mi y a Dolly Aguas! Ella es mi nuevo Victor!

Vanessa: What?!

Hector: Ella ahora es mi hermana! La querré como mi hermana, la defenderé como mi hermana y ganaremos juntos como hermanos!

Vanessa: Good.

Hector: Empezaremos contra… contra… um, contra quien vamos?

Vanessa: I was wondering when you were going to ask. Vic Vinegar and-

Hector: Vinagre? Como lo que le pones a la ensalada?

Vanessa: Uh, yeah. 

Hector: Que tipo de nombre es ese? Bic Vinagre?

Vanessa: Not Bic, Vic.

Hector: Si, Bic, igual que, como se dice, pen? Bic pen?

~Vanessa rolls her eyes. ~

Vanessa: No! Vic! V-I-C!

Hector: Aaaah, pero si Vinagre?

Vanessa: Vinegar.

Hector: Es la misma mierda!! 

~She starts to get frustrated. ~

Vanessa: I mean yes, technically but no, can we get past his name please? He and his partner shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Hector: Man, fuck a Vic Vinegar…

~Vanessa’s eyes open wide at Hector putting a whole sentence in English together.~

Vanessa: What?!

~Hector takes a step back and smiles nervously through his mask.~

Hector: Um, yo dije, um, quien es su compañero jejeje?

~She watches him carefully with untrusting eyes.~ 

Vanessa: Douglas Crane.

~Hector’s eyes open wide this time and his jaw drops. Vanessa closes his mouth for him but he then goes into one of those Ricky Ricardo (from I Love Lucy you youngin’s) type rants.~

Hector: que-que?! El psicopata ese?! Tu estas loca?! Yo no me voy a meter en el ring con alguien como ese tipo! No way Jose, yo no me meto alli! Buena suerte Dolly Aguas yo contra el loco Crane no voy! No señor! Ese cabron no le gusta luchar con la gente si no que lo hipnotiza a uno y después le friega la mente, NO JODAS! Yo no voy! Yono voy para nada! Hay que ganen ellos no me importa!

Vanessa: dude come the hell down! You and Dollie can take Crane and Vinegar no problem! Sure he’s a psycho, but you are not facing him one on one, you got Dollie with you! If it bothers you that much you can let Dollie handle Crane and you can handle Vinegar.

Hector: Oh si, yo me en cargo de Vinagre sin ningun problema! Ese cara de perra me la chupa! Yo no voy a dejar que alguien como ese tipo nos gane a mi y a Dollie, no señor! Crane es otra cosa, pero este cerote bañado en vinagre me la pela. Esta bien, confiare en Dollie Aguas, haremos un buen equipo y les ganaremos a esas galletas blancas sin ningun problema!

Vanessa: Excellent! That is the Hector I know and love!

Hector: Arriba!

Vanessa: Now can we go back inside?

Hector: Esta bien.

~They head inside the studio and upon seeing them, the producer sighs a huge sign of relief. Hector still shoves him aside and as he gets to the set, he hears Victor very excitedly talking about his new partner. This pisses Hector off but he still joins his brother, albeit a bit pouty.~

“If you watched the special you know what happens next; if you didn’t then go watch it… now.”