Post by Grace Rimmer on Jul 8, 2021 13:48:45 GMT -5
~We cut to the re-organized OCW Studio. Set up for another Who’Re Report, starring Grace Rimmer! As always, she’s comfortably seated in her plush, V-chair. AKB, however, is absent from his tiny, hard plastic, uncomfortable P-chair. Has he been fired? Is he off getting coffee? WHERE COULD HE BE? The mysteries never end here, at OCW~
Grace Rimmer: Hello, fans! Welcome to another Who’Re Report and, boy, do I have a bunch to get through. I doubt anybody noticed, but AKB is absent at the moment. Late for work, just like a typical man.
~She frowns. A few female reporters laugh~
Grace Rimmer: House of Cards is less than three weeks away and things are certainly heating up! Including the annoying, malcontent known as The Incredible One. Why he insists on forcing his way in when our glorious GM Who’Re has already informed him he’s not welcome is beyond me. Sounds like typical male behavior!
~Rimmer shakes her head, disgusted~
Grace Rimmer: And I don’t care what Tony Savage has to say. TIO is not and will never be part of this new age roster. Not gonna happen. If he shows up at House of Cards thinking he’s going to stir enough up to work his way onto the roster...well, he’s got another thing coming. diVersity will be all over him. He’ll rue the day!
~Grace seems very confident~
Grace Rimmer: Speaking of House of Cards...sounds like Vhodka Black (recently married) will be returning to defend her OCW TransAtlantic Championship in an Open Challenge! Now I’m VERY excited about this possibility. Who could answer? Hopefully not TIO OR that drunk, Mack O’Connor. I’d prefer seeing Vhodka retire with the belt than either of those neanderthals stepping inside an OCW ring.
~Rimmer looks down at her empty coffee cup. Several slanderous statements revolving around AKB ricochet within her vapid head~
Grace Rimmer: Across Enemy Lines is less than a week away! Travel arrangements for Krayzie and Byson have been secured. They will be heading to the DMZ in the next few days where they will face Thunder Knuckles and Robbie Bourbon in a cross promotional tag team clash! A first of its kind for OCW. Sounds like the North Koreans will be on our side while those shitty South Koreans will be chanting B.O.B. like the mindless drones that they are.
~Grace hates South Korea. Has she got the two companies mixed up or is she merely pushing the OCW narrative? Could be either...OR BOTH~
Grace Rimmer: Speaking of mindless...Harold Jones CONTINUES to challenge Kevin Spacey for a match at House of Cards. Why we would want to give that creep any kind of spotlight is beyond me. Harold needs to return to open mic night at the nearest AA meeting. His jokes are NOT funny.
~Rimmer holds her coffee cup in the air, shaking it violently at the nearest low level employee~
Grace Rimmer: Margarita Mix returning? I love myself a good, strong margarita. Girls Night, am I right?! The hit tournament created by the previous, stupid regime in 2017 is rumored to be returning. With the ACROSS ENEMY LINES match set up to re-introduce the OCW Tag Team Titles...could we be foreshadowing some type of tag team invitational? Only time will tell. How would it all work? Sounds like we could get matches on Piledriver.
~An employee returns with a fresh, piping hot cup of coffee~
Grace Rimmer: Yours truly believes we’ll see more treachery than loyalty at House of Cards on July 25th. Deals are in the works. Alliances are being made. But how true are the words being passed around? Not very, I think. I expect the evening of July 25th to be unpredictable, despicable, and downright perfidious. A night unlike any in OCW history.
~Grace sips her coffee. She approves~
Grace Rimmer: OCW remains on the lookout for talent. Our scouting department is ALWAYS keeping tabs on what’s available, not just in the free agent market, but talented performers wasting away on a bloated roster. IF the roster were to expand, I’d expect to see names previously unmentioned...rather than some belligerent retread like TIO.
~Rimmer’s wrist watch goes off~
Grace Rimmer: Oh. Looks like it’s time for my afternoon cosmetic appointment. If AKB shows up, tell him he’s in big trouble. Aside from that, you’ve been watching the Who’Re Report starring Grace Rimmer. Have a great day, everyone!
~We fade out~
