Alice's Owlis & Alice (Season One)

[Adi Gold]

SEASON ONE OF ALICE'S OWLis & ALICE

[Alice Knight]

OCW TV PRESENTS



ALICE'S

OWLis & ALICE!



EPISODE #1: BIG BAG OF ONIONS!



OPENS ON A SHOT INSIDE A GROCERY STORE. WE SEE ALICE PICKING UP A LARGE BAG OF ONIONS!



Alice: Perfect!!!! The PERFECT bag size of Onions! FOR! The PERFECT PRICE! Now I can't wait to go home and make that Onion Flavored Jello...



OWLIE FLIES ON SCREEN NEAR ALICE!



Owlie: HEY, ALICE! I see someone is planning to make some of her home made Onion Jello!



ALICE SMILES!



Alice: That's Right OWLIE! Heck, isn't this the biggest bag of Onions you have ever seen...?



Owlie: Nah... I've seen bigger...



ALice: Oh you liar, you! You have NEVER and I do mean NEVER-EVER have seen a bag on Onions this big. This here, is the biggest bag of onions...



Owlie: Yeah?



Alice: Yep!



Owlie: Then... what is that over at the cash register, huh? Huh Alice?



Alice looks over to see a GIANT bag of Onions in sunglasses and a giant mustache, using it's VISA card to buy it's groceries.



Alice:...



Owlie: Well...?



Alice: That... is one big bag of onions!




F I N.

Created by Alice Knight.

[Alice Knight]

OCW TV PRESENTS

ALICE'S

OWLis & ALICE!

EPISODE #2: PHOTOBOOTH

OPENS ON A SHOT OF A MALL. WE SEE MANY PEOPLE WALKING AROUND SHOPPING. WE SEE OWLIE AND ALICE WALKING THROUGH THE MALL ALSO. THEY SEE A OLD PHOTO BOOTH IN A DARK PART OF THE MALL.

Alice: Holy Awesome, Owlie! It's a photo booth! I haven't seen one of these in decades...

OWLie: How old are you?

Alice: Ha ha. Too funny, Owlie! TOOOOOO FUNNY!

OWLie: No seriously?

Alice: Ha ha! What a story, Owlie!

Owlie: Ok... Whatever...

Alice: Let's get a few shots, we can totally put them in our living room... it will be super awesome. Nostalgia times a HUNDRED BILLION, RIGHT? IT'S GONNA LOOK GREAT AT THE HOUSE... 

Owlie: Would it really be 'awesome' though?

Alice: YEP!! Let's go!

Alice and Owlie walking into the booth.

*FLASH*

Alice: This is so much fun!

Owlie: I guess...

*FLASH*

Alice: That's gonna be a GOOD one! I look so sexy...

Owlie: You think?

*FLASH*

IGGY HARDY: WHAT THE BLUE DIAMOND FUCK!!!!! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!

Owlie & ALice: WHAAAAAAA?!?!??!

THEY RUN OUT OF THE PHOTO BOOTH FOLLOWED BY IGGY HOLDING A HAND GUN!!

IGGY HARDY: AND DON'T COME BACK!!!

Alice: IGGY! We're sorry... we didn't know you ... lived in a abandoned Mall Photo booth!! Right, Owlie?!?!?

Owlie: I read about it actually, but I didn't really give to flying fucks about Iggy Hardy.

IGGY HARDY: You best walk away and fly away girls. And leave the photos... I need whack off material... I MEAN... I need to hold the evidence. NOW BEAT IT!!

Alice and Owlie run away as Iggy picks up the photos and lips it in his trunks before staggering back into the Photo booth.

FIN.

Created by Alice Knight

[zybala]

What a plot twist!! I did NOT expect Iggy Hardy!

[Alice Knight]

OCW TV PRESENTS



ALICE'S

OWLis & ALICE!



EPISODE #3: "PULL OVER"

We see a shot of Alice and Owlie driving down a road in their red convertible.

Owlie: Alice, can we please pull over at a McDonalds or Dunkin Donuts. I really have to use the washroom...

Alice: Number 1 or Number 2?

Owlie: Well...

Alice: HA HA! THAT MEANS NUUUUMBER 2!!!

Owlie: Real mature. Please... pull over. Pleeeease.

Alice: No time, the Robin Williams' classic, Bicentennial Man is playing at the theatre in 5 minutes. No. TIME!

Owlie: But we own the DVD at home... we just watched it before we left. And I ate corn... you know how corn goes through me... pull over... look there's a walmart. I'll even run in and get depends...

Alice: That takes way more time, Owlie! Plus, I missed seeing this film theatres as a kid... never again.

Owlie; UGH!!!

Alice(sniffs): Oh my god, Owlie. Did you...

Owlie: NO!

Alice: Well what the heck... do you SMELL THAT!?!?

(Someone from the Back Seat): I should smell it...

EHUD pokes his head up from the back seat with a stink smell above him.

EHUD: ...Of course I should smell it... I am sitting in it... which brings me to my point! You can share my depends, Owlie.

Alice: Dude... gross.

Owlie: C'mon!

Alice: THIS DAY IS RUINED! How can 'Bicentennial Man' follow this?

Narrator: In fact the Robin Williams classic, Bicentennial Man did follow this horrific road toilet accident. And while the odor lingered throughout the film in the theatre, the movie didn't, as it never does, disappointed Alice. Rumor has it Ehud left to go to the washroom and never came back. Some say he was only a pants shitting Ghost and died years ago before this experience. Or... we was kidnapped and murdered by a bunch of Pony Men like Midgets. Who knows... or cares...

FIN

[zybala]

<3<3<3

[Alice Knight]

OCW TV PRESENTS

ALICE'S

OWLis & ALICE!

EPISODE #4: "THE NIGHTMARE"

WE OPEN ON A SHOT OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE AUSTRALIA. WE SEE ALICE & OWLie PEEKING BEHIND A TREE.

Alice: Look, Owlie... it's one of those magical mythical Aussie creatures. A ... Kang-a-ROO!

Owlie: They are so cute. I wanna hug it...

Alice: And look over there, it's another magical make belief creature from the fake country Australia... a Koloa Bear!!!

Owlie: OH! OH! OH! CAN WE KEEP IT! IT LOOKS LIKE IT CUDDLES! SO PRETTY AND CUTE!

Alice: Oh no! Look what scared them away. It's the fake, make believe, disgusting and not sexy creature known as a PERZAG! And he's holding the OCW Championship he won!

Owlie: GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY!!!!!!!

AWWWGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Owlie BEGINS SCREAMING! Shaking it's body and head around.

We reveal Alice and Owlie are in bed together as Alice franticly wakes up Owlie from it's nightmare.

Alice: ARE YOU OK, OWLIE?!?!?!

Owlie: OH NO! I had that dream again...

Alice: The scary Australia place?

Owlie: Yep! And even worse, PERZAG showed up again, and he was OCW Champion...

Alice(Laughing): Silly Owlie... that could never happen in the REAL world...

Owlie:.... right.

...

...

...

...Right?




THUNDER SOUNDS ERUPT

[zybala]

This is why I get out of bed in the morning. More of this please.

[Dylan Thomas]

Genius. Can we get Owlis and Alice on DVD??