Vic Vinegar Never Sleeps On A Job
Jul 1, 2021 22:40:21 GMT -5
Marcus Welsh, zybala, and 2 more like this
Post by vicvinegar on Jul 1, 2021 22:40:21 GMT -5
The scene opens in the middle of the day. The camera focuses on the alarm clock. It is 1pm on a Wednesday. Vic Vinegar is fast asleep. He is wearing a white shirt, heavily stained with what appears to be pizza. He is snoring loudly. The snore sound overwhelms the scene until it is challenged by the phone ringing.
Vic pops up to an upright position. He reaches over to the counter. He hits an old box of pizza, knocking it off the shelf before finding the phone.
Vic: “Vic Vinegar, Bodyguard?”
Phone: “I have a job for you.”
Vic: “A job you say?”
Phone: “It’s at a bar.”
Vic: “Eh. Bars aren’t great for me if I’m being honest.”
Phone: “It will pay $50 cash.”
Vic quickly does some math. “$50. Okay. I can probably do that. It’s safe right. I’m facing Vacant at Outsiders this week. I didn’t even know I was still in that. But I think he’s like Undertaker’s step son or something. You know. Like Vacant is what I’ll be after he takes my soul. Anyway, I need to be fresh. With this job, and Outsider’s I’ll have enough for like four pizzas! My celebration is going to be so much fun!”
Phone: “Just be at the bar man. Or don’t. I don’t really care anymore!”
VIc: “I’ll be there!”
The scene changes. Vic is now at the bar. He is sitting down. He is supposed to be doing security but behind his sick duster is the same grease covered shirt. Behind his rad sunglasses, he is obviously asleep.
Three kids enter the bar. They look past Vic and run up to the bar.
The bartender sees this and walks over to Vic.
Bartender: “Hey man. What are you doing?”
Vic awakes with a start. “I’m securing the bar.”
Bartender: “You just let a bunch of kids in. And I’m pretty sure you were sleeping.”
Vic: “I can assure you I wasn’t sleeping. I was simply harvesting mass. Of course I let the kids in. They’re not a security threat. I performed an ocular patdown.”
Bartender: “This is a bar. We can’t have kids here.”
Vic: “Oh sorry. You should’ve made that clearer.”
Bartender: “Are you going to kick them out?”
Vic lets out a sigh. “I mean they’re already here. Look how busy the bar looks with them in here. I say we just leave them.”
Bartender: “I’m sorry, man. I think I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
Vic jumps up. “Oh cool. An easy day. I like it, boss. I just need the $50 and I’ll be going. I got to train for my big match this week anyway.”
Bartender: “I’m not paying you.”
Vic sighs. “Fine, a few beers then.”
Bartender: “No get out.”
Vic sighs. “Fine but when things get out of control don’t come calling me back.”
Vic twirls his duster on the way out a frustrated bartender watches him leave as the scene ends.
Vic pops up to an upright position. He reaches over to the counter. He hits an old box of pizza, knocking it off the shelf before finding the phone.
Vic: “Vic Vinegar, Bodyguard?”
Phone: “I have a job for you.”
Vic: “A job you say?”
Phone: “It’s at a bar.”
Vic: “Eh. Bars aren’t great for me if I’m being honest.”
Phone: “It will pay $50 cash.”
Vic quickly does some math. “$50. Okay. I can probably do that. It’s safe right. I’m facing Vacant at Outsiders this week. I didn’t even know I was still in that. But I think he’s like Undertaker’s step son or something. You know. Like Vacant is what I’ll be after he takes my soul. Anyway, I need to be fresh. With this job, and Outsider’s I’ll have enough for like four pizzas! My celebration is going to be so much fun!”
Phone: “Just be at the bar man. Or don’t. I don’t really care anymore!”
VIc: “I’ll be there!”
The scene changes. Vic is now at the bar. He is sitting down. He is supposed to be doing security but behind his sick duster is the same grease covered shirt. Behind his rad sunglasses, he is obviously asleep.
Three kids enter the bar. They look past Vic and run up to the bar.
The bartender sees this and walks over to Vic.
Bartender: “Hey man. What are you doing?”
Vic awakes with a start. “I’m securing the bar.”
Bartender: “You just let a bunch of kids in. And I’m pretty sure you were sleeping.”
Vic: “I can assure you I wasn’t sleeping. I was simply harvesting mass. Of course I let the kids in. They’re not a security threat. I performed an ocular patdown.”
Bartender: “This is a bar. We can’t have kids here.”
Vic: “Oh sorry. You should’ve made that clearer.”
Bartender: “Are you going to kick them out?”
Vic lets out a sigh. “I mean they’re already here. Look how busy the bar looks with them in here. I say we just leave them.”
Bartender: “I’m sorry, man. I think I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
Vic jumps up. “Oh cool. An easy day. I like it, boss. I just need the $50 and I’ll be going. I got to train for my big match this week anyway.”
Bartender: “I’m not paying you.”
Vic sighs. “Fine, a few beers then.”
Bartender: “No get out.”
Vic sighs. “Fine but when things get out of control don’t come calling me back.”
Vic twirls his duster on the way out a frustrated bartender watches him leave as the scene ends.