The Who'Re Report - Starring Grace Rimmer 4.0
Jun 25, 2021 18:11:07 GMT -5
zybala, petervaughn, and 2 more like this
Post by Grace Rimmer on Jun 25, 2021 18:11:07 GMT -5
~The OCW Youtube Channel begins to stir. A LIVE broadcast is coming your way. HOLY SMOKES...THIS IS YOUR LUCKY DAY. We enlarge that shit, consuming our entire computer screen, grab a bag of chips and some elegant boxed wine because, well, this shit is going to be savory and sweet. And, wouldn't you know it...it's another Who'Re Report!! Cutting to the OCW Studio...decorated for Grace Rimmer's show centered around OCW and equality. She sits atop a giant, plush chair in the shape of a mighty 'V'. AKB is slouched, uncomfortably, in a small, rugged chair shaped like a 'P'. Grace is wearing a very tight dress with her large, tan thighs fully exposed. She's got her legs crossed, hands in her lap and a very vacant expression in this giant saucers she calls eyes. The red light comes on which means Grace turns on the charm~
Grace Rimmer: Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of The Who'Re Report! I'm your host, Grace Rimmer and alongside me is Alpha Kenny Body. Alpha.
~AKB is just about defeated at this point. He throws a casual nod in Grace's direction~
Grace Rimmer: A bit unprofessional but what should I expect coming from a man. Fans, today we're going to be looking at the broiling feuds and issues in OCW. Issues that rolled into Quarantined only to be agitated as we march full steam ahead toward House of Cards. I like to call this, analyzing the beef.
~Who'Re crosses her legs as she says 'beef'. AKB gets a quick look up her dress. His eyes widen and mouth opens, slightly~
Grace Rimmer: Alpha, would you like to get things started?
~AKB is still shook by the full up-skirt view he accidentally received. Grace shakes her head with disdain~
Grace Rimmer: Stupid man. Fine, I'll do it myself. I'd say the biggest issue heading into Quarantined, at least from the start, was Outcast raging against Xavier Lux over a loss he suffered at the hands of Lux in GCWA. Outcast made it his mission to get revenge on Lux. Unfortunately, that didn't happen as Xavier Lux would pin Outcast late in the Prison Yard Match. And while I'm sure Lux thinks the issues are over...Outcast is probably angrier than ever. A fact that could come into play at House of Cards. You see, Outcast will go first. Xavier could leave him alone...if Outcast doesn't strike, initially. However, after Outcast's match, especially if he retains, he'd most likely be in-line for an OCW Title at OCW's next PPV event. So what would make more sense than getting involved in that House of Cards main event and costing your bitter rival his OCW Title?
~AKB leans back, folding his arms. We're not sure what he saw...but it was enough to surprise him before sending him leaning back in his chair, arms folded in a defensive posture~
Grace Rimmer: But the plot thickens with Outcast. Via a throwaway comment about salad dressing, of all things, Outcast ignited a fire within Mike Zybala. A fire that would explode at Quarantined when Zybala caught Outcast laughing at him while exiting the ring after his disappointing elimination. Zybala would counter by covering Outcast in Blue Cheese after his rough elimination later in the match. And, naturally, Outcast would respond by ruining Mike Zybala's Seabreeze via a giant heaping, helping of Ranch Dressing. Now, heading into House of Cards, Outcast has to look over his shoulder for Mike Zybala...who will wage war with Peter Vaughn the match BEFORE Outcast's. So, in theory, Zybala could step in to disrupt Outcast's match against Thomas. And, knowing that, Outcast MIGHT be wise to try and injure Mike Zybala before his match with Vaughn, eliminating that risk factor.
~AKB has grown disinterested. He's a piece of furniture. And, whatever it was he saw, wasn't compelling enough to retain his interest THIS long. So, he yawns~
Grace Rimmer: ALPHA!
AKB: What?!
~AKB is nearly blown from his chair via the shock of hearing Rimmer's unannounced shrill~
Grace Rimmer: You dare YAWN during the Who'Re Report? That's it.
AKB: Oh for the love. It was just a reaction. Please, don't...
Grace Rimmer: Get me some coffee.
~AKB may have been bored...but he HATES being made to look like a bitch on TV...even if it is via a Youtube stream. But, he likes getting paid. So he grumbles, stands up and heads off to get Grace her unnecessarily complicated coffee beverage~
Grace Rimmer: Ugh. Sorry about that, fans. Now, where was I? Oh yea, Mike Zybala. Coming into Quarantined, Zybala seemed at peace with most of the roster. But, that wasn't the case on the other side of the proverbial 'fence'. Brim, most notably, was out for blood when it came to Zybala. Peter Vaughn, as well. And, while Zybala was trying to figure out what to do concerning Brim's hate...Peter Vaughn made an unexpected turn, emerging as Zybala's biggest rival heading into Quarantined. So, Zybala was stuck...two men who wanted to, well, basically kill this man. And, while Vaughn got some licks in and Brim managed to pin Zybala...both men seem eager to get their hands back on OCW's former commissioner. Then, add in Outcast's anger issues with Zybala...and, well, Mike's gonna be looking over his shoulder all night at House of Cards. Who could he possibly reach out to? Lux? The new guy, Thaddeus Duke? How about Ed Houston? I understand there's slight beef between the two over a movie franchise...but is it enough to really forsake seeking aid to help even the odds? Zybala has a chance to earn OCW gold for the first time in his 4 year career within the company. I'd hate to see him lose out on it due to a numbers game. Find some help, Z.
~Grace Rimmer reaches for her old coffee cup...she lifts it up, looks into it and shows the contents to the crowd. IT'S EMPTY. We all figured it was...but she's doing this for show. She shakes her head in disappointment, placing the cup back down~
Grace Rimmer: Peter Vaughn. It seems simple, right? He's got Mike Zybala, his nemesis, his rival, in the ring for the Craze Title. No exterior shenanigans. No plotting on how to screw him over or get to him before or during his match. Just straight up fight him and beat him. Couldn't be simpler, right? If you believe'd that, you'd be forgetting Brim. Brim did pin Vaughn at Quarantined. And, yea, sure, maybe that was enough to inoculate the hate he felt for the former Janitor. But I'm betting it wasn't. I'm betting, while standing outside that ring, watching Peter Vaughn compete Brim will want to step in and ruin things for him. BUT, if he does...then he helps Zybala. The other man he hated heading into Quarantined. An increasingly complex scenario.
~Grace looks at her coffee cup and sighs~
Grace Rimmer: So what DOES Brim do, at that point? Does he interfere in the Craze match, hurting one enemy to help the other? OR, does he leave it alone, hoping they'll leave him alone when he faces Lux later on in the Main Event? But, by doing that, he leaves them uninjured and free to get payback by screwing him out of his chance at winning the OCW Title. So, again, what does Brim do? Those two men have got to want some type of revenge. And while they've got something to lose...Brim's got the most to lose. He heads into House of Cards as the #2 Champion in OCW with an OCW Title shot. If Lux beats him, he leaves with nothing.
~Grace looks at her empty coffee up. She then looks at Alpha's tiny 'P' chair. Her eyes narrow~
Grace Rimmer: That MAN is so lazy. You know who isn't lazy? Dylan Thomas. Thomas seemed to alienate everyone heading into Quarantined with his arrogance. Despite being on an island inside the Prison Yard, Dylan Thomas nearly struck gold. He's being rewarded this month with the penultimate match of the evening, facing Outcast for the Paradigm Championship. I'd suggest Thomas is in a better spot than most. Sure, he had angered people heading into Quarantined...but so much went down in the Prison Yard Match. So much violence, so much anger...leading to so much animosity carrying over that Thomas...well, he might be the forgotten man. Dylan Thomas may be able to stand back, watch the wolves tear each apart and, when its time, slide into the ring and win the Paradigm Championship. I think Dylan Thomas is in a good spot.
~Again, Grace looks at her empty cup. She seems to be growing quite agitated~
Grace Rimmer: That brings us to two wrestlers...the two who will open the show. A strange spot...stepping into the ring under rules and regulations never before experienced. They are the guinea pigs for this experiment. Will the other wrestlers be too timid to attack first, fearing it could come back to haunt them later on? Or, will it be a feeding frenzy...brawl for all? Ed Houston is the veteran in this opening encounter. And, like Thomas, he doesn't really have any enemies. Canon, his longstanding rival, is gone. There's also Zybala...the man who blames him for ruining what could have been a lucrative movie franchise. Outside of that, Houston is likable and something of a loner. Will he hope to avoid getting thrown into the fray...being left unmolested so that he can have an absolute show stealing classic with Thaddeus Duke...OR, will he seek to earn the aid of another...just in case. I'd lean toward the latter. This match is a big one for Ed. If he wins, he's back in title contention. If he loses...would he even return for a third month?
~She looks at her coffee cup once more. She's disgusted by this point, slapping the mug away. It flies off camera, slamming into a production assistant. Grace doesn't apologize. She returns to her gig~
Grace Rimmer: Thaddeus Duke. The final piece to this puzzle. Duke is the foreign man. While he's a worldwide star in the pro wrestling industry, he's the 'new kid on the block' here in OCW. He has no pre-existing issues with anybody on the roster. I'd be surprised if he's ever MET anyone on the OCW roster. Duke is stepping into uncharted territory. So, what does that mean for his match at House of Cards? Are the veteran OCW stars going to leave him alone...stand back and see what this guy's got? OR, will they look to jump in and derail him, preventing him from showing them up in his debut? Is a Xavier Lux or Outcast more eager to see an Ed Houston win than an 'outsider' like Thaddeus Duke? By all accounts, Ed is well liked within the industry. Duke, on the other hand, stepped in with a massive spotlight and seems to have the backing of Who'Re. Something nobody else on this roster has received. Duke looks to be her 'chosen one'. And, if you're a fan of OCW history...you know the 'chosen ones' typically succeed around here. But what does Duke do? Does he rely on his abundance of talent to carry him through the first match and any obstacles which may present themselves...OR does he reach out to wrestlers he's never talked to, hoping to form some type of alliance? AND, if he does survive his match...does he interject himself in any of the subsequent matches or does he call it a night? Duke is a total wildcard in all of this.
~Finally, AKB enters, carrying a cup of coffee. Grace rolls her eyes and extends her hand, refusing to look at Alpha~
Grace Rimmer: About time.
~She doesn't take a sip. AKB takes a seat in his chair~
Grace Rimmer: House of Cards. An event surrounded by loyalty and treachery. Who will align with who? Who will betray who? And, who will roll the dice by remaining neutral, hoping it doesn't cost them BIG in the end? Be sure to tune in on July 25th to find out!
~Grace takes a sip. She frowns~
Grace Rimmer: This is WARM. What were you doing that took so long?
AKB: It's a long walk. Plus someone backstage was bleeding pretty badly from...a flying coffee cup, is what they said. So I had to help them.
Grace Rimmer: So you allowed my coffee to go from hot to warm because of some pleb?
~Grace stands, marches over and pours the coffee all over AKB~
Grace Rimmer: Worthless man.
~She turns, facing the camera. She smiles~
Grace Rimmer: I'm Grace Rimmer and you've been watching The Who'Re Report!
~We fade out~