Try Harder with a Vengeance
Apr 25, 2020 14:38:11 GMT -5
Marcus Welsh and Cheyenne Tabernacke like this
Post by chase on Apr 25, 2020 14:38:11 GMT -5
We flashback to 2 months ago on a sunny sunday afternoon. The coronavirus was still a hoax and life was still somewhat normal. This was supposed to be the happiest day of Lisa Roman’s life. Her wedding dress fit a little too snug and her make up was a little too thick, but she was happy. With only a couple minutes left until she makes her grand walk down the aisle to say her “i do’s” with the man of her dreams, she takes some time to sit and reflect on her good fortune.
Her father, John Roman, is a mildly successful movie producer in Hollywood. He’s been involved with movies like “Try Hard”, an inspirational movie about a scrawny insurance agent who finds happiness and strength through bullying people online. “Fat and Curious”, a coming of age tale of a young woman with split personalities who eventually finds love on twitter with herself. It’s non-direct sequel, “Fat and Curious: Tokyo Grift”, an psychological thriller that involves a young woman with split personalities who sells imitation Hello Kitty dolls online. And probably his biggest hit, “Finding Chemo”, an animated fast paced action movie about a middle aged cancer patient who becomes a hitman so that he can pay for his cancer treatment.
Because of her dad’s success, Lisa Roman has been able to live a life of luxury. She’s been able afford all the fancy clothes she desires, breast implants at the age of 16, and now this extravagant wedding. The catering alone was well over 100k- with offerings like gold flaked pizza, and a 10 foot tall wedding cake.Their huge Hollywood hills home has been transformed into a wedding venue and all of the who's who of semi famous Hollywood actors are in attendance. Today was her special day, and nothing was going to ruin this day.
John Roman: “Jason, I’m so proud of you.” John says as he fixes Jason Chase’s tie.
Both men look out to the yard where the guests are all seated. A young woman plays soft music on a harp as the priest recites his lines. There is a nice view of the pacific ocean, in the air a small plane circles back and forth with a sign that reads “Congrates Jason and Lisa!”. Yes, it is misspelled.
Jason Chase: “Thanks John. I owe you everything. You were the first person to hire me, and look at me now. The most sought after stuntman in Hollywood.”
Chase pats John on his back as the music from the harp cues him to make his way down the aisle. The guests cheer and “ohh and ahh” as Chase struts down the aisle, he winks at a couple of his friends, and blows kisses to Lisa’ beloved mom and grandma. He nods at the priest and then takes his position next to the best man. The guy looks eerily familiar but it’s hard to place it.
Best Man: “ Are you sure about going through with this?” The best man whispers.
Chase smirks and slightly shrugs.
Chase: as sure as I’ll ever be.
The music from the harp plays the familiar tune as Lisa appears with father John as the guests in attendance again cheer.
Priest: “Who here offers this woman to be married to this man?” The Priest places a marker in his bible and looks at John.
John Roman: “She gives herself, but with the blessing of her family.” John speaks loudly as he let’s go of his daughter’s hand and takes his seat.
LIsa hugs all 3 of her bridesmaids indivually before taking her place across from her true love. Lisa was never the prettiest girl, a ton of make-up and a boob job boosted her self esteem up a bit, but even she understands that Jason Chase is a little out of her league.
Priest: “Do you Jason Chase, take this woman to be your wife, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, til death do you part?”
Chase: “I most certainly do.”
Priest: do you Lisa Roman, take this man to be your wife, I mean husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?
Lisa Roman: “I do.” Lisa stares into Chase’s eye with so much adoration and love. Chase winks at her.
Priest: “Well before we place the rings and make things official, is there anyone that objects to this matrimony?” The priest closes his bible and is about to begin the next part when someone yells out-
“I do!”.
A hush comes over the place as all eyes turn to the 3rd bridesmaid.
3rd Bridesmaid: “I’m sorry. I’m in love with Jason. I know it’s been over for a long time, but I can’t stop thinking about you.” She focuses her attention on Chase as a murmur starts circulating in the crowd.
Lisa Roman: “I knew I shouldn’t have made you a bridesmaid. Even though he dated you first and I sort of stole him from you. But he’s mine now.” Lisa starts to tear up.
“I’m also in love with him.”
All eyes turn to the 2nd bridesmaid.
2nd Bridesmaid: “I’m sorry. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and he is just so hot, we were both drunk.”
Lisa Roman: “You slut! I knew you were always trying to hang out with us. I’ll kill you bitch!” Lisa lunges at the 2nd brides maid but is held back by the maid of honor.
Maid of Honor: “Lisa!Lisa! Stop. stop. I must confess I slept with Jason too.”
Lisa begins to cry hysterically.
John Roman: : “I’ll make sure you never work in this town again asshole.” John Roman glares at Chase as he goes to comfort his daughter. Lisa wipes her tears away and yells out at Chase.
Lisa Roman: “You animal! Is there anybody else? I can’t believe you slept with my best friend.”
“I slept with him as well.” a voice calls out.
A woman in the front row holds her hand up.
Lisa Roman: “My cousin Harriet? You monster.”
“I slept with him too.” yells out another voice.
Lisa Roman: “My sister? You asshole. You slept with my sister?” Lisa starts to pout and stomps her feet.
“I’m sorry honey, in a moment of weakness I slept with him too. Your father had just left me for that young floozy who starred in Fat and Curious and I needed some comforting.”
Lisa turns to her mom.
Lisa Roman: “Mom? Mom! how could you?” The makeup on her face is all messed up as the mascara makes a river of black liquid down her cheek.
“I’m ashamed to say that I did as well.”
Lisa turns to a little old lady sitting in a wheelchair.
Lisa Roman: “Grandma?”
Best Man: “we need to get teh fuck out of here.” The best man grabs Chase and leads him out as chaos ensues.
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In the present day, Jason Chase is standing in front of a full length mirror with nothing but a n95 mask on, the part where his nether regions are is blurred as he stands with his hand akimbo. The room he is in has a lot of old looking furniture. He flexes in the mirror and begins to speak.
Jason Chase: John Roman cut me off. I can’t find a job in Hollywood. Lisa won’t return my calls. I thought she would have been more forgiving. And this coronavirus shit has everyone all fucked up.
I hate wrestling. I hate everything about it. Rolling around the ring with sweaty men. That shit is disgusting. But I have no other option. Nowadays they let the men wrestle the women, but even then most of these women wrestlers look like men in wigs and lipstick.
I heard the OCW was holding an event with a big cash prize so I made a call to a couple people. I told them I preferred a match with a good looking woman with big plastic boobs, but instead they have me fighting a fat chick with a beard. But I guess that is what fans are into nowadays.
I heard the Big Bifford started wearing a bra at the age of 8. She used to sneak tater tots in her bra, because not only did they keep her breasts warm, but the smell of fried potatoes masked that natural odor of ass and sweat that exudes from her fat pores. Fuck it, give me enough alcohol and I’ll fuck the shit out of the Big Bifford.
The Big Bifford probably started licking her chops once she found out she was wrestling me. She’s probably imagining me sticking my penis in all her slimy crevices. That’s probably why she got into wrestling. I mean who in their right mind would want to be near such a vile creature?
Cameraman: “ I’m pretty sure the Big Bifford is a man.”
Chase bends down to pick up his clothes and puts it on. He grabs what looks like a 20 dollar bill from the top of a drawer and starts to walk out the room as the voice of an old lady calls out.
Lady: “I’ll see you tomorrow, at 12? Make sure you lock my door.”
Chase turns to the camera and shakes his head. The cameraman follows him as he walks down a flight of stairs and then out the door. He walks over an area of grass that has a “Do Not walk on grass” sign on it, and then opens the car door to his yellow Volkswagen Beetle. The cameraman goes in on the passenger side. He places the camera equipment with the “OCW” logo on it in the backseat. Chase pulls out his phone and opens the Instagram app, then hands it over to the cameraman.
Chase: “I need to do an instagram live video.”
The cameraman grabs the phone and presses the record button.
Chase: Let’s wait a couple minutes so we get some viewers, then I’ll start.
3 minutes and 40 viewers later……
Chase: “Hello out there Chasers.” (that’s what he calls his fans) “It’s your favorite hollywood stuntman here and I want to share some exciting news with you. Next week, I’m returning to wrestling, and I’m facing none other than the legendary female wrestler Bitch Bitchford.
Cameraman: “ugh, it’s Big Bifford and he’s a guy.”
Chase: “ I know, I'm trying to be funny. Anyway. I know that all my fans out there are excited about what will happen in this match. I know some of you are concerned that I might injure myself or mess up my beautiful face. But don’t worry, the Big Bifford is too fat and too slow to be able to keep up with me. I’ve been training in various martial arts disciplines and I feel like I can take this big behemoth down. So if you all would send me some comments and likes, tell me how you think I should beat the Big Bifford.
“Stick your dick down his throat.” a comment sent by a person with the username Harry Dick.
Chase: “no. no. I have to keep it in my pants. The OCW is a family show, I don’t need to whip my dick out for attention. But what I will do is insult the Big Bifford before and during the match. I know big fat girls usually have low self esteem.
Cameraman: “Again, Bifford is a man.”
Chase: “Whatever. Fat guy, fat girl. It’s all the same, they both have boobs. I’m going to beat him up, win this money, then produce my own movie and be the star.
Cameraman: “It’s a tournament.”
Chase: “really? Fuck. I’ll beat the Big Bifford, I’ll beat whoever else, and then I’m going to take that prize money and make my movie. It will be about a guy who falls in love with a girl while they are on a boat, then there is an accident, and the guy sacrifices himself for the girl.”
Cameraman: “That’s literally the plot for Titanic.”
Chase: “Shit. you’re right. Ok, they won’t be on a boat. It will be a plane. I’m going to call it SkyTanic.”
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Lisa Roman is sheltering in place at her father’s home in the Hollywood hills. She has her phone in her hand as she finds her Father in his office, at his desk. She shows him the live instagram video of Jason Chase.
Lisa Roman: “Dad. we have to make sure he loses so he won’t be able to make this movie.”
John Roman puts his glasses on and catches the last bit of Chase talking about, “SkyTanic.”
John Roman: “I’ll make sure of it.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her father, John Roman, is a mildly successful movie producer in Hollywood. He’s been involved with movies like “Try Hard”, an inspirational movie about a scrawny insurance agent who finds happiness and strength through bullying people online. “Fat and Curious”, a coming of age tale of a young woman with split personalities who eventually finds love on twitter with herself. It’s non-direct sequel, “Fat and Curious: Tokyo Grift”, an psychological thriller that involves a young woman with split personalities who sells imitation Hello Kitty dolls online. And probably his biggest hit, “Finding Chemo”, an animated fast paced action movie about a middle aged cancer patient who becomes a hitman so that he can pay for his cancer treatment.
Because of her dad’s success, Lisa Roman has been able to live a life of luxury. She’s been able afford all the fancy clothes she desires, breast implants at the age of 16, and now this extravagant wedding. The catering alone was well over 100k- with offerings like gold flaked pizza, and a 10 foot tall wedding cake.Their huge Hollywood hills home has been transformed into a wedding venue and all of the who's who of semi famous Hollywood actors are in attendance. Today was her special day, and nothing was going to ruin this day.
John Roman: “Jason, I’m so proud of you.” John says as he fixes Jason Chase’s tie.
Both men look out to the yard where the guests are all seated. A young woman plays soft music on a harp as the priest recites his lines. There is a nice view of the pacific ocean, in the air a small plane circles back and forth with a sign that reads “Congrates Jason and Lisa!”. Yes, it is misspelled.
Jason Chase: “Thanks John. I owe you everything. You were the first person to hire me, and look at me now. The most sought after stuntman in Hollywood.”
Chase pats John on his back as the music from the harp cues him to make his way down the aisle. The guests cheer and “ohh and ahh” as Chase struts down the aisle, he winks at a couple of his friends, and blows kisses to Lisa’ beloved mom and grandma. He nods at the priest and then takes his position next to the best man. The guy looks eerily familiar but it’s hard to place it.
Best Man: “ Are you sure about going through with this?” The best man whispers.
Chase smirks and slightly shrugs.
Chase: as sure as I’ll ever be.
The music from the harp plays the familiar tune as Lisa appears with father John as the guests in attendance again cheer.
Priest: “Who here offers this woman to be married to this man?” The Priest places a marker in his bible and looks at John.
John Roman: “She gives herself, but with the blessing of her family.” John speaks loudly as he let’s go of his daughter’s hand and takes his seat.
LIsa hugs all 3 of her bridesmaids indivually before taking her place across from her true love. Lisa was never the prettiest girl, a ton of make-up and a boob job boosted her self esteem up a bit, but even she understands that Jason Chase is a little out of her league.
Priest: “Do you Jason Chase, take this woman to be your wife, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, til death do you part?”
Chase: “I most certainly do.”
Priest: do you Lisa Roman, take this man to be your wife, I mean husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?
Lisa Roman: “I do.” Lisa stares into Chase’s eye with so much adoration and love. Chase winks at her.
Priest: “Well before we place the rings and make things official, is there anyone that objects to this matrimony?” The priest closes his bible and is about to begin the next part when someone yells out-
“I do!”.
A hush comes over the place as all eyes turn to the 3rd bridesmaid.
3rd Bridesmaid: “I’m sorry. I’m in love with Jason. I know it’s been over for a long time, but I can’t stop thinking about you.” She focuses her attention on Chase as a murmur starts circulating in the crowd.
Lisa Roman: “I knew I shouldn’t have made you a bridesmaid. Even though he dated you first and I sort of stole him from you. But he’s mine now.” Lisa starts to tear up.
“I’m also in love with him.”
All eyes turn to the 2nd bridesmaid.
2nd Bridesmaid: “I’m sorry. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and he is just so hot, we were both drunk.”
Lisa Roman: “You slut! I knew you were always trying to hang out with us. I’ll kill you bitch!” Lisa lunges at the 2nd brides maid but is held back by the maid of honor.
Maid of Honor: “Lisa!Lisa! Stop. stop. I must confess I slept with Jason too.”
Lisa begins to cry hysterically.
John Roman: : “I’ll make sure you never work in this town again asshole.” John Roman glares at Chase as he goes to comfort his daughter. Lisa wipes her tears away and yells out at Chase.
Lisa Roman: “You animal! Is there anybody else? I can’t believe you slept with my best friend.”
“I slept with him as well.” a voice calls out.
A woman in the front row holds her hand up.
Lisa Roman: “My cousin Harriet? You monster.”
“I slept with him too.” yells out another voice.
Lisa Roman: “My sister? You asshole. You slept with my sister?” Lisa starts to pout and stomps her feet.
“I’m sorry honey, in a moment of weakness I slept with him too. Your father had just left me for that young floozy who starred in Fat and Curious and I needed some comforting.”
Lisa turns to her mom.
Lisa Roman: “Mom? Mom! how could you?” The makeup on her face is all messed up as the mascara makes a river of black liquid down her cheek.
“I’m ashamed to say that I did as well.”
Lisa turns to a little old lady sitting in a wheelchair.
Lisa Roman: “Grandma?”
Best Man: “we need to get teh fuck out of here.” The best man grabs Chase and leads him out as chaos ensues.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the present day, Jason Chase is standing in front of a full length mirror with nothing but a n95 mask on, the part where his nether regions are is blurred as he stands with his hand akimbo. The room he is in has a lot of old looking furniture. He flexes in the mirror and begins to speak.
Jason Chase: John Roman cut me off. I can’t find a job in Hollywood. Lisa won’t return my calls. I thought she would have been more forgiving. And this coronavirus shit has everyone all fucked up.
I hate wrestling. I hate everything about it. Rolling around the ring with sweaty men. That shit is disgusting. But I have no other option. Nowadays they let the men wrestle the women, but even then most of these women wrestlers look like men in wigs and lipstick.
I heard the OCW was holding an event with a big cash prize so I made a call to a couple people. I told them I preferred a match with a good looking woman with big plastic boobs, but instead they have me fighting a fat chick with a beard. But I guess that is what fans are into nowadays.
I heard the Big Bifford started wearing a bra at the age of 8. She used to sneak tater tots in her bra, because not only did they keep her breasts warm, but the smell of fried potatoes masked that natural odor of ass and sweat that exudes from her fat pores. Fuck it, give me enough alcohol and I’ll fuck the shit out of the Big Bifford.
The Big Bifford probably started licking her chops once she found out she was wrestling me. She’s probably imagining me sticking my penis in all her slimy crevices. That’s probably why she got into wrestling. I mean who in their right mind would want to be near such a vile creature?
Cameraman: “ I’m pretty sure the Big Bifford is a man.”
Chase bends down to pick up his clothes and puts it on. He grabs what looks like a 20 dollar bill from the top of a drawer and starts to walk out the room as the voice of an old lady calls out.
Lady: “I’ll see you tomorrow, at 12? Make sure you lock my door.”
Chase turns to the camera and shakes his head. The cameraman follows him as he walks down a flight of stairs and then out the door. He walks over an area of grass that has a “Do Not walk on grass” sign on it, and then opens the car door to his yellow Volkswagen Beetle. The cameraman goes in on the passenger side. He places the camera equipment with the “OCW” logo on it in the backseat. Chase pulls out his phone and opens the Instagram app, then hands it over to the cameraman.
Chase: “I need to do an instagram live video.”
The cameraman grabs the phone and presses the record button.
Chase: Let’s wait a couple minutes so we get some viewers, then I’ll start.
3 minutes and 40 viewers later……
Chase: “Hello out there Chasers.” (that’s what he calls his fans) “It’s your favorite hollywood stuntman here and I want to share some exciting news with you. Next week, I’m returning to wrestling, and I’m facing none other than the legendary female wrestler Bitch Bitchford.
Cameraman: “ugh, it’s Big Bifford and he’s a guy.”
Chase: “ I know, I'm trying to be funny. Anyway. I know that all my fans out there are excited about what will happen in this match. I know some of you are concerned that I might injure myself or mess up my beautiful face. But don’t worry, the Big Bifford is too fat and too slow to be able to keep up with me. I’ve been training in various martial arts disciplines and I feel like I can take this big behemoth down. So if you all would send me some comments and likes, tell me how you think I should beat the Big Bifford.
“Stick your dick down his throat.” a comment sent by a person with the username Harry Dick.
Chase: “no. no. I have to keep it in my pants. The OCW is a family show, I don’t need to whip my dick out for attention. But what I will do is insult the Big Bifford before and during the match. I know big fat girls usually have low self esteem.
Cameraman: “Again, Bifford is a man.”
Chase: “Whatever. Fat guy, fat girl. It’s all the same, they both have boobs. I’m going to beat him up, win this money, then produce my own movie and be the star.
Cameraman: “It’s a tournament.”
Chase: “really? Fuck. I’ll beat the Big Bifford, I’ll beat whoever else, and then I’m going to take that prize money and make my movie. It will be about a guy who falls in love with a girl while they are on a boat, then there is an accident, and the guy sacrifices himself for the girl.”
Cameraman: “That’s literally the plot for Titanic.”
Chase: “Shit. you’re right. Ok, they won’t be on a boat. It will be a plane. I’m going to call it SkyTanic.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lisa Roman is sheltering in place at her father’s home in the Hollywood hills. She has her phone in her hand as she finds her Father in his office, at his desk. She shows him the live instagram video of Jason Chase.
Lisa Roman: “Dad. we have to make sure he loses so he won’t be able to make this movie.”
John Roman puts his glasses on and catches the last bit of Chase talking about, “SkyTanic.”
John Roman: “I’ll make sure of it.”
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