Post by Bester on Jul 16, 2019 18:05:20 GMT -5
Bester in a suit and tie is standing at a gravesite with his hands in front of him, his head lowered and looks to be saying a prayer. Standing in front of a casket, a small tiny wooden casket that is hovering over a hole slightly bigger than the casket with tiny little 2x4’s under the casket. A small tiny red rose is placed on top of the tiny little casket.
Time seems to stand still for an eternity while the services for “Monkey” is wrapping up. Yes, Bester is holding a funeral for monkey.
Bester wipes a small tear from his eye and looks up after saying a few words to himself.
Bester: “I’m going to miss you monkey. You were a great monkey too. Always there for me, cheering me up. I just wish I was there for you in your hour of need. It pains me to think of the pain and suffering you went through under that vending machine outside of Mister Welsh’s office in the hallway as my beloved kitty sank his teeth in your flesh.”
A quick flash to Spartacus cleaning himself while sitting on top of a headstone nearby without a fucking care in the world, like most cats.
Bester: “I will forever remember our time together. What you meant to me I will hold near and dear to my heart till the day I die. I might not ever see….her….again.”
Since we have last seen Bester, or OGDA, or Bester, either or. He has had some time to think about his relationship with Aubrey and monkey, Joe Jones and the chance meeting with “God” at the OCW Arena, with “God” finding his old OGDA mask, returning it to him and the outcome of his last match, which, yes did result in him losing at NSFW. It also resulted in Bester tearing his calf muscle and now he finds himself in rehab hoping to not go under the knife. Bester has finally, finally! Decided that he did nothing wrong with Aubrey, she’s in the wrong, she used him and now he doesn’t like her anymore. Doesn’t want to see her and is moving on with his life.
Plus Jill at the rehab center that Joe, Marcus, Zybala and almost everyone else in the OCW locker room recommended for him to go to is a cutie and there might be a connection there, but Bester is a little gun shy.
So today is the final nail in the coffin, a way for Bester to put an end to this chapter in his life, by laying monkey to rest.
Bester: “I might have wasted the last four to five month of my life and my career on, her, even though she had nice….you know...thingies (Titties to those of you who don’t know Bester/OGDA) and she was my first and that is something that means a lot to me, you however, was very special to me. I just wanted you to know that and I’m sorry for what my kitty did to you. That, that was not nice of him and HE’S A VERY BAD KITTY!”
Flash over to Spartacus, who stops licking himself for a second to glare at Bester. Still no fucks given.
Bester: “I’m sorry and I will miss you.”
Bester gets down on one knee and places his hand on the lid of the coffin.
“You do know it was that racist fucker in the white house right? To stop you from saving the aliens. Right? You knew that?” A toothless tweaker says in clothes that smell of rotten crotch and dead head lice.
This startles Bester. He thought he was alone. Bester stands up, his face white as a ghost.
Bester: “I’m sorry?”
Tweaker: “Your monkey. That girl you were banging.”
Bester: “We only...did that one time…”
Tweaker: “Trump took her. Made her disappear man! She didn't go back to her man, she's tied up in a cage in Area 51 with the aliens. So the aliens, they used their powers to talk to cats, and they, just so you know okay. The aliens made dat cat of yours kill monkey. Yeah man! Aliens can talk to cats. They are sorry for your loss by the way.”
Bester: “Aliens? Trump? Aliens?”
Tweaker: “From area 51.”
Bester: “Area 51?”
Tweaker: “Yeah man! The government, they have been hiding aliens there. Undocumented Aliens live in Area 51, against their will! Like slaves! No healthcare, no Netflix. Their little baby aliens are held in small cages off site. It’s nuts man! Sheer chaos is going on!”
Bester: “So they told my kitty to murdered monkey?”
Tweaker: “They had to reach out to you man, they need you! It’s one of the signs man!”
Bester: “Signs?”
Tweaker: “That they need help! It was on the internet! They said they were going to do this! Yeah, first, they were going to get the attention of the chosen one, the one who can save them, rescue them. There is only one man on earth who can save them. That is you!”
Bester: “Me?”
Tweaker: “Yeah man! That mask!”
Bester: “My mask?”
Tweaker: “Yes! God gave it back to you! That is a sign! God wants you to save the Aliens!”
Bester reaches in his pocket and pulls out his OGDA mask. He unfolds it and looks at it in his hands.
Tweaker: “That’s you! You are the superhero. You are the one who will bully the bullies! You are the one who will stand up for the people who can’t stand up for themselves. The aliens! They need you! They need OGDA to save them! The tests the government do to them, it’s not right. They just came here to eat tacos and they are not getting any tacos! So unfair man!”
Bester: “I don’t know….”
Tweaker: “Trump kidnap your girl! They talked to your cat had your cat kill monkey to get your attention! It is a CRY FOR HELP! THEY NEED YOUR HELP!”
Bester: “This sounds, I don’t know. Fishy. Plus I asked Miss Wagner (Jill) out on a date.”
The tweaker slaps Bester across the face!
Tweaker: “OF COURSE YOU DID! That is what they want!”
Bester: “Who?”
Tweaker: “The republicans! She is a hired slut to get you to fall in love with her so you won’t storm Area 51 and save the aliens!”
Bester: “What’s a republican?”
Tweaker: “Evil overlords who are refusing to allow the aliens to enter planet earth and live here in peace and love with us man! They are evil! They are sons of bitches! Open your eyes! Look around! The republicans are everywhere! Slowly enslaving us and killing off the aliens! You can’t let that happen! You have to lead the charge on Area 51! You have to save them! They want tacos! And free Healthcare!”
Bester looks around, no one else is in the cemetery other than his kitty.
Tweaker: “Look it up man, go home and google it! Generations of aliens are dying every day and their blood is on your hands! They scream out for you! HELP US BESTER! SAVE US! DON’T LET US DIE!”
Bester: “That’s just sad.”
Tweaker: “Yeah man! It is! But you! You can stop this!”
The tweaker looks around and starts to freak out. He starts to back away from Bester.
Bester: “Where are you going?”
Tweaker: “Walmart. I’ve got to go lick the ice cream!”
Bester: “I love ice cream!”
Tweaker: “You should come! It’s not safe here! They are watching us! Come! To the house of Walton! We will be safe there!”
Bester: “And we can have ice cream?”
Tweaker: “Yes! We will lick them all!”
Bester: “How much ice cream is there? I can’t have to much of it. It’s not good for you you know, too much High Fructose Corn Syrup and all.”
Tweaker: “All of the ice cream is there! The aliens, they put messages in the ice cream! You lick the ice cream and then they can tell you where they are and how to get to them!”
Bester: “Really?”
Tweaker: “Yes! Come! Come! We go now!”
Bester: “Well, okay.”
Tweaker takes Bester by the hand and starts to lead him away and towards the nearest WalMart.
Bester: “When was the last time you took a bath?”
Fade out.
Time seems to stand still for an eternity while the services for “Monkey” is wrapping up. Yes, Bester is holding a funeral for monkey.
Bester wipes a small tear from his eye and looks up after saying a few words to himself.
Bester: “I’m going to miss you monkey. You were a great monkey too. Always there for me, cheering me up. I just wish I was there for you in your hour of need. It pains me to think of the pain and suffering you went through under that vending machine outside of Mister Welsh’s office in the hallway as my beloved kitty sank his teeth in your flesh.”
A quick flash to Spartacus cleaning himself while sitting on top of a headstone nearby without a fucking care in the world, like most cats.
Bester: “I will forever remember our time together. What you meant to me I will hold near and dear to my heart till the day I die. I might not ever see….her….again.”
Since we have last seen Bester, or OGDA, or Bester, either or. He has had some time to think about his relationship with Aubrey and monkey, Joe Jones and the chance meeting with “God” at the OCW Arena, with “God” finding his old OGDA mask, returning it to him and the outcome of his last match, which, yes did result in him losing at NSFW. It also resulted in Bester tearing his calf muscle and now he finds himself in rehab hoping to not go under the knife. Bester has finally, finally! Decided that he did nothing wrong with Aubrey, she’s in the wrong, she used him and now he doesn’t like her anymore. Doesn’t want to see her and is moving on with his life.
Plus Jill at the rehab center that Joe, Marcus, Zybala and almost everyone else in the OCW locker room recommended for him to go to is a cutie and there might be a connection there, but Bester is a little gun shy.
So today is the final nail in the coffin, a way for Bester to put an end to this chapter in his life, by laying monkey to rest.
Bester: “I might have wasted the last four to five month of my life and my career on, her, even though she had nice….you know...thingies (Titties to those of you who don’t know Bester/OGDA) and she was my first and that is something that means a lot to me, you however, was very special to me. I just wanted you to know that and I’m sorry for what my kitty did to you. That, that was not nice of him and HE’S A VERY BAD KITTY!”
Flash over to Spartacus, who stops licking himself for a second to glare at Bester. Still no fucks given.
Bester: “I’m sorry and I will miss you.”
Bester gets down on one knee and places his hand on the lid of the coffin.
“You do know it was that racist fucker in the white house right? To stop you from saving the aliens. Right? You knew that?” A toothless tweaker says in clothes that smell of rotten crotch and dead head lice.
This startles Bester. He thought he was alone. Bester stands up, his face white as a ghost.
Bester: “I’m sorry?”
Tweaker: “Your monkey. That girl you were banging.”
Bester: “We only...did that one time…”
Tweaker: “Trump took her. Made her disappear man! She didn't go back to her man, she's tied up in a cage in Area 51 with the aliens. So the aliens, they used their powers to talk to cats, and they, just so you know okay. The aliens made dat cat of yours kill monkey. Yeah man! Aliens can talk to cats. They are sorry for your loss by the way.”
Bester: “Aliens? Trump? Aliens?”
Tweaker: “From area 51.”
Bester: “Area 51?”
Tweaker: “Yeah man! The government, they have been hiding aliens there. Undocumented Aliens live in Area 51, against their will! Like slaves! No healthcare, no Netflix. Their little baby aliens are held in small cages off site. It’s nuts man! Sheer chaos is going on!”
Bester: “So they told my kitty to murdered monkey?”
Tweaker: “They had to reach out to you man, they need you! It’s one of the signs man!”
Bester: “Signs?”
Tweaker: “That they need help! It was on the internet! They said they were going to do this! Yeah, first, they were going to get the attention of the chosen one, the one who can save them, rescue them. There is only one man on earth who can save them. That is you!”
Bester: “Me?”
Tweaker: “Yeah man! That mask!”
Bester: “My mask?”
Tweaker: “Yes! God gave it back to you! That is a sign! God wants you to save the Aliens!”
Bester reaches in his pocket and pulls out his OGDA mask. He unfolds it and looks at it in his hands.
Tweaker: “That’s you! You are the superhero. You are the one who will bully the bullies! You are the one who will stand up for the people who can’t stand up for themselves. The aliens! They need you! They need OGDA to save them! The tests the government do to them, it’s not right. They just came here to eat tacos and they are not getting any tacos! So unfair man!”
Bester: “I don’t know….”
Tweaker: “Trump kidnap your girl! They talked to your cat had your cat kill monkey to get your attention! It is a CRY FOR HELP! THEY NEED YOUR HELP!”
Bester: “This sounds, I don’t know. Fishy. Plus I asked Miss Wagner (Jill) out on a date.”
The tweaker slaps Bester across the face!
Tweaker: “OF COURSE YOU DID! That is what they want!”
Bester: “Who?”
Tweaker: “The republicans! She is a hired slut to get you to fall in love with her so you won’t storm Area 51 and save the aliens!”
Bester: “What’s a republican?”
Tweaker: “Evil overlords who are refusing to allow the aliens to enter planet earth and live here in peace and love with us man! They are evil! They are sons of bitches! Open your eyes! Look around! The republicans are everywhere! Slowly enslaving us and killing off the aliens! You can’t let that happen! You have to lead the charge on Area 51! You have to save them! They want tacos! And free Healthcare!”
Bester looks around, no one else is in the cemetery other than his kitty.
Tweaker: “Look it up man, go home and google it! Generations of aliens are dying every day and their blood is on your hands! They scream out for you! HELP US BESTER! SAVE US! DON’T LET US DIE!”
Bester: “That’s just sad.”
Tweaker: “Yeah man! It is! But you! You can stop this!”
The tweaker looks around and starts to freak out. He starts to back away from Bester.
Bester: “Where are you going?”
Tweaker: “Walmart. I’ve got to go lick the ice cream!”
Bester: “I love ice cream!”
Tweaker: “You should come! It’s not safe here! They are watching us! Come! To the house of Walton! We will be safe there!”
Bester: “And we can have ice cream?”
Tweaker: “Yes! We will lick them all!”
Bester: “How much ice cream is there? I can’t have to much of it. It’s not good for you you know, too much High Fructose Corn Syrup and all.”
Tweaker: “All of the ice cream is there! The aliens, they put messages in the ice cream! You lick the ice cream and then they can tell you where they are and how to get to them!”
Bester: “Really?”
Tweaker: “Yes! Come! Come! We go now!”
Bester: “Well, okay.”
Tweaker takes Bester by the hand and starts to lead him away and towards the nearest WalMart.
Bester: “When was the last time you took a bath?”
Fade out.
