Post by ocwnewsline on Jan 22, 2015 20:02:00 GMT -5
~We are taken to a shot of OCW reporter, guest commentator and former network TV star, Killface standing outside a random bank. He is finishing off a jar of pickles when his eyes catch the red light on the camera. He quickly hurls the jar over his shoulder, it pelts a random human in the head~
Killface: Hello America, I am Killface. Today, I bring you a few interesting rumors that happened to grab my attention.
~Camera angles switch, for some reason as Killface turns his head to the left, facing the new camera~
Killface: Rumors are SWIRLING that OCW Hall of Famer Lurrr cheated during his THREE World Title victories. Apparently, from what wrestling sources are telling me, he DEFLATED the ropes during his matches against Brian Velocity, DareDevil and Andy Murray.
~The camera angle switches again, Killface jerks his head to the right~
Killface: Federation sources are claiming that the ropes were of OCW standard minutes before the match, meaning that if they were altered, it would have been Lurrr’s doing. We caught up with a former OCW wrestler and asked him what a deflation of the ropes could mean, as far as an advantage would go.
~We are taken to a dark room where a former OCW wrestler is seated in the dark, his face covered. His voice is also distorted. A name pops up, it reads ‘Not Cisco Sheppard’~
Not Cisco Sheppard: Yea, dawg, like, you know, if the ropes were all deflated n’ shit then he’d have a huge advantage. Other wrestlers would be all bounin off dem ropes and maybe they’d tumble outside or they might not fly so far if they attempted to use the momentum for an elbow or somethin. Shady shit, yo. Definitely would give Lurrr an advantage.
~We cut back to Killface who is now lying on his side, facing a lower camera angle~
Killface: As you can see, the unidentified man known as ‘Not Cisco Sheppard’ feels that if the ropes were deflated, it would have extremely violated the integrity of the contest. Rest assured, America, that I will continue to look into this matter. Lurrr, as of now, I’m being told has no comment.
~Killface rolls over onto his back, facing a camera angle looking down at him~
Killface: In other news, The Big Bifford is apparently seeking legal counsel in an effort to combat his disqualification from next month’s #1 contenders match. Apparently the fee he’s negotiating is a unique one. Bifford has five attorneys locked in a room, the one who agrees to take his case won’t be eaten by Earl.
~Killface sits up, Indian-Style and stares at another camera as our angles shift again~
Killface: And, finally, as far as the rumored lawsuit goes, I’ve still yet to gain any traction in my efforts of locating a source of origin. I...
~A man in a suit walks up and lightly kicks Killface in the back. Killface looks up at the man, angrily. They stare at one another, awkwardly, for a silent moment~
Man in suit: I have information
Killface: Can’t you see we’re conducting an interview here, you stupid man?
Man in suit: Information, I have it.
Killface: Yes, I’m sure you do. Unfortunately we don’t want to hear about your ongoing battle with Viagra. Now, please, scoot along.
~The man shrugs and walks off, uttering something about a lawsuit. Killface returns his focus back on the current lense~
Killface: As I was saying, as soon as a lead turns up...
~He pauses and stares at the camera for several moments before speaking~
Killface: Did he just say lawsuit?
~The camera nods~
Killface: Right.
~Killface remains seated for a few additional moments before hopping to his feet and chasing the guy down. We cut out~
Killface: Hello America, I am Killface. Today, I bring you a few interesting rumors that happened to grab my attention.
~Camera angles switch, for some reason as Killface turns his head to the left, facing the new camera~
Killface: Rumors are SWIRLING that OCW Hall of Famer Lurrr cheated during his THREE World Title victories. Apparently, from what wrestling sources are telling me, he DEFLATED the ropes during his matches against Brian Velocity, DareDevil and Andy Murray.
~The camera angle switches again, Killface jerks his head to the right~
Killface: Federation sources are claiming that the ropes were of OCW standard minutes before the match, meaning that if they were altered, it would have been Lurrr’s doing. We caught up with a former OCW wrestler and asked him what a deflation of the ropes could mean, as far as an advantage would go.
~We are taken to a dark room where a former OCW wrestler is seated in the dark, his face covered. His voice is also distorted. A name pops up, it reads ‘Not Cisco Sheppard’~
Not Cisco Sheppard: Yea, dawg, like, you know, if the ropes were all deflated n’ shit then he’d have a huge advantage. Other wrestlers would be all bounin off dem ropes and maybe they’d tumble outside or they might not fly so far if they attempted to use the momentum for an elbow or somethin. Shady shit, yo. Definitely would give Lurrr an advantage.
~We cut back to Killface who is now lying on his side, facing a lower camera angle~
Killface: As you can see, the unidentified man known as ‘Not Cisco Sheppard’ feels that if the ropes were deflated, it would have extremely violated the integrity of the contest. Rest assured, America, that I will continue to look into this matter. Lurrr, as of now, I’m being told has no comment.
~Killface rolls over onto his back, facing a camera angle looking down at him~
Killface: In other news, The Big Bifford is apparently seeking legal counsel in an effort to combat his disqualification from next month’s #1 contenders match. Apparently the fee he’s negotiating is a unique one. Bifford has five attorneys locked in a room, the one who agrees to take his case won’t be eaten by Earl.
~Killface sits up, Indian-Style and stares at another camera as our angles shift again~
Killface: And, finally, as far as the rumored lawsuit goes, I’ve still yet to gain any traction in my efforts of locating a source of origin. I...
~A man in a suit walks up and lightly kicks Killface in the back. Killface looks up at the man, angrily. They stare at one another, awkwardly, for a silent moment~
Man in suit: I have information
Killface: Can’t you see we’re conducting an interview here, you stupid man?
Man in suit: Information, I have it.
Killface: Yes, I’m sure you do. Unfortunately we don’t want to hear about your ongoing battle with Viagra. Now, please, scoot along.
~The man shrugs and walks off, uttering something about a lawsuit. Killface returns his focus back on the current lense~
Killface: As I was saying, as soon as a lead turns up...
~He pauses and stares at the camera for several moments before speaking~
Killface: Did he just say lawsuit?
~The camera nods~
Killface: Right.
~Killface remains seated for a few additional moments before hopping to his feet and chasing the guy down. We cut out~