Post by Jock Reasoning on Feb 29, 2024 12:42:29 GMT -5
~JOCK Reasoning exits OCWHQ in Key West~
Jock Reasoning: Today is a beautiful day. Today we begin the ‘selection’ process of OCW Survivor Season 3 participants.
~He turns to the camera~
Jock Reasoning: We will select from a field of the most qualified and eager contestants the pro wrestling world has ever seen to figure out who is worthy to travel to THE ISLAND and compete for fame, glory, and honor.
~The OCW Title appears in the top right corner of the screen and shimmers~
Jock Reasoning: Yes, and the OCW Title. It’ll be the most competitive game in pro wrestling history and I, JOCK Reasoning will be the host.
~The roaring engine of a vehicle pulls up behind him. He spins around and slaps the front hood of a sketchy white van. “Slam Buss” is written on the side in crude black paint~
Jock Reasoning: Travel accommodations are being provided by OCW. First class, as always, by this great federation. So let’s go invite our first participant…Lord All…
Lord Allton: I’m right here, Jock.
~Jock steps up onto the side of the Slam Buss and looks inside the passenger’s window. Lord Allton is behind the wheel~
Jock Reasoning: Lord Allton! What a surprise.
Lord Allton: Expecting someone else?
Jock Reasoning: Um, yes.
~Allton laughs, gripping the wheel. Jock’s a bit unsettled~
Lord Allton: Well get in, Jock. We have work to do.
~Feeling like HE’S being coerced, Jock steps into the van and they peel out~
~We cut to the exterior of a grocery store. Mike Zybala sits behind a table featuring an Outsiders banner. He has promotional material everywhere. Applications for new members. And some tiny Dragonzord toys with ‘Zybala’ SUPERKICK action. There’s also a mini replica Outsider wrestling ring for sale…the mat is ripped up, the ropes are barely hanging together, and half the turnbuckle pads are missing. Zybala doesn’t look happy. Nobody is at his table…we pull back to see a long line at the Girl Scouts' Table next to him~
Mike Zybala: Cookies? Really? How about some of you guys come over here and sign up to compete in Outsiders!! Hell, you don’t even have to sign up and I’ll book you anyway! Just give me a name…any name!
~Some people turn and look. A Girl Scout yells back~
Girl Scout: We’re trying to do business over here, man. Stop hassling us, man! Nobody cares about your stupid promotion, man!
~Zybala is like ‘That’s a little rude’. Should he SUPERKICK this girl or…~
Mike Zybala: What if I buy a box of cookies? Can you at least give me a name I can book on my next show?
~She considers it~
Girl Scout: Okay buy a box of cookies, man.
Mike Zybala: Thin Mints.
Girl Scout: No, man.
Mike Zybala: Samoas.
Girl Scout: No, man. Plus, they’re not even called that anymore, man.
Mike Zybala: Fine, give me the shitty shortbread cookies.
~A deal is struck. Zybala hands over a $10 bill. The girl gives him one box of cookies~
Mike Zybala: Uh, change.
Girl Scout: Thanks for the tip, man.
~Mike never gets a name so he jots down “Girl Scout” onto the lineup~
Girl Scout: HEY, MAN!
~Mike looks up~
Mike Zybala: Is for horses!
~An Angry Man steps into view~
Angry Man: Did you just pay for these cookies with a counterfeit ten-dollar bill??
Mike Zybala: I don’t know, did I?
Angry Man: Don’t play dumb with me, promoter man!
Mike Zybala: I, uh
~Zybala has yet to learn if he has counterfeit money. He probably doesn’t even know how to tell the difference between a real 10 and a fake one. But the angry man is getting angrier and the Girl Scouts are about to wild out. We cut to the interior of the Slam Buss~
Jock Reasoning: LOOK!
Lord Allton: I’m on it!
~Lord Allton flies into the parking lot going about 70mph. He averts running over an old couple. He hits a speed bump so hard he flies over a family of five. The van hits and he jerks the wheel to the side…it spins around and around and around, sliding toward everyone. The Girl Scouts scream and scatter. But, The Slam Buss comes to rest right in front of Zybala, the only person who hasn’t moved. The back doors open and Jock pops out~
Mike Zybala: Is that…JOCK Reasoning?
Jock Reasoning: It is I, JOCK Reasoning. Mike, quick, come here.
Mike Zybala: I’m busy promoting Outsiders.
~Jock looks at the lonely booth~
Jock Reasoning: I think you’ll be okay cutting out a bit early. PLUS…we have some people in the back of the Slam Buss interested in joining Outsiders.
Mike Zybala: REALLY?
~Zybala’s eyes water as he leans forward, grabbing Jock by his OCW Survivor shirt~
Mike Zybala: Is it true, Jock? IS IT?
Jock Reasoning: Follow me, Mike.
~Jock escorts Mike to the back of the Slam Buss and helps him inside. Zybala hops into the back of the van and looks around~
Mike Zybala: How tiny are these people? I hope I’m not stepping on any…
~He looks up and sees Lord Allton behind the wheel, through a chain-linked fence separating the back of the Buss from the front~
Mike Zybala: Oh, hey, what’s up, Allton?
~He continues to search for people until the realization hits~
Mike Zybala: Hey, wait a minute…
~The two doors are slammed shut. Jock hops into the Slam Buss and Lord Allton puts the pedal to the metal…tires spin out, and The Slam Buss burns rubber, screeching out of the parking lot~
Angry Man: Where did he go?
Girl Scout: He’s gone, man!
Angry Man: So he just paid for a box of cookies with counterfeit money. Now I’m stuck here with this box of cookies that I have to pay for. The world is full of scum.
Girl Scout: What are we going to do, man?
Angry Man: What everyone in this line of work does. We are going to start a GoFundMe.
~The rest of the Girl Scouts destroy Mike Zybala’s Outsiders table as we fade out~
Mike Zybala - Coerced
Entrant #2 into the OCW Survivor Season 3 Field.
Jock Reasoning: Today is a beautiful day. Today we begin the ‘selection’ process of OCW Survivor Season 3 participants.
~He turns to the camera~
Jock Reasoning: We will select from a field of the most qualified and eager contestants the pro wrestling world has ever seen to figure out who is worthy to travel to THE ISLAND and compete for fame, glory, and honor.
~The OCW Title appears in the top right corner of the screen and shimmers~
Jock Reasoning: Yes, and the OCW Title. It’ll be the most competitive game in pro wrestling history and I, JOCK Reasoning will be the host.
~The roaring engine of a vehicle pulls up behind him. He spins around and slaps the front hood of a sketchy white van. “Slam Buss” is written on the side in crude black paint~
Jock Reasoning: Travel accommodations are being provided by OCW. First class, as always, by this great federation. So let’s go invite our first participant…Lord All…
Lord Allton: I’m right here, Jock.
~Jock steps up onto the side of the Slam Buss and looks inside the passenger’s window. Lord Allton is behind the wheel~
Jock Reasoning: Lord Allton! What a surprise.
Lord Allton: Expecting someone else?
Jock Reasoning: Um, yes.
~Allton laughs, gripping the wheel. Jock’s a bit unsettled~
Lord Allton: Well get in, Jock. We have work to do.
~Feeling like HE’S being coerced, Jock steps into the van and they peel out~
OUTSIDERS MEET AND GREET
~We cut to the exterior of a grocery store. Mike Zybala sits behind a table featuring an Outsiders banner. He has promotional material everywhere. Applications for new members. And some tiny Dragonzord toys with ‘Zybala’ SUPERKICK action. There’s also a mini replica Outsider wrestling ring for sale…the mat is ripped up, the ropes are barely hanging together, and half the turnbuckle pads are missing. Zybala doesn’t look happy. Nobody is at his table…we pull back to see a long line at the Girl Scouts' Table next to him~
Mike Zybala: Cookies? Really? How about some of you guys come over here and sign up to compete in Outsiders!! Hell, you don’t even have to sign up and I’ll book you anyway! Just give me a name…any name!
~Some people turn and look. A Girl Scout yells back~
Girl Scout: We’re trying to do business over here, man. Stop hassling us, man! Nobody cares about your stupid promotion, man!
~Zybala is like ‘That’s a little rude’. Should he SUPERKICK this girl or…~
Mike Zybala: What if I buy a box of cookies? Can you at least give me a name I can book on my next show?
~She considers it~
Girl Scout: Okay buy a box of cookies, man.
Mike Zybala: Thin Mints.
Girl Scout: No, man.
Mike Zybala: Samoas.
Girl Scout: No, man. Plus, they’re not even called that anymore, man.
Mike Zybala: Fine, give me the shitty shortbread cookies.
~A deal is struck. Zybala hands over a $10 bill. The girl gives him one box of cookies~
Mike Zybala: Uh, change.
Girl Scout: Thanks for the tip, man.
~Mike never gets a name so he jots down “Girl Scout” onto the lineup~
Girl Scout: HEY, MAN!
~Mike looks up~
Mike Zybala: Is for horses!
~An Angry Man steps into view~
Angry Man: Did you just pay for these cookies with a counterfeit ten-dollar bill??
Mike Zybala: I don’t know, did I?
Angry Man: Don’t play dumb with me, promoter man!
Mike Zybala: I, uh
~Zybala has yet to learn if he has counterfeit money. He probably doesn’t even know how to tell the difference between a real 10 and a fake one. But the angry man is getting angrier and the Girl Scouts are about to wild out. We cut to the interior of the Slam Buss~
Jock Reasoning: LOOK!
Lord Allton: I’m on it!
~Lord Allton flies into the parking lot going about 70mph. He averts running over an old couple. He hits a speed bump so hard he flies over a family of five. The van hits and he jerks the wheel to the side…it spins around and around and around, sliding toward everyone. The Girl Scouts scream and scatter. But, The Slam Buss comes to rest right in front of Zybala, the only person who hasn’t moved. The back doors open and Jock pops out~
Mike Zybala: Is that…JOCK Reasoning?
Jock Reasoning: It is I, JOCK Reasoning. Mike, quick, come here.
Mike Zybala: I’m busy promoting Outsiders.
~Jock looks at the lonely booth~
Jock Reasoning: I think you’ll be okay cutting out a bit early. PLUS…we have some people in the back of the Slam Buss interested in joining Outsiders.
Mike Zybala: REALLY?
~Zybala’s eyes water as he leans forward, grabbing Jock by his OCW Survivor shirt~
Mike Zybala: Is it true, Jock? IS IT?
Jock Reasoning: Follow me, Mike.
~Jock escorts Mike to the back of the Slam Buss and helps him inside. Zybala hops into the back of the van and looks around~
Mike Zybala: How tiny are these people? I hope I’m not stepping on any…
~He looks up and sees Lord Allton behind the wheel, through a chain-linked fence separating the back of the Buss from the front~
Mike Zybala: Oh, hey, what’s up, Allton?
~He continues to search for people until the realization hits~
Mike Zybala: Hey, wait a minute…
~The two doors are slammed shut. Jock hops into the Slam Buss and Lord Allton puts the pedal to the metal…tires spin out, and The Slam Buss burns rubber, screeching out of the parking lot~
Angry Man: Where did he go?
Girl Scout: He’s gone, man!
Angry Man: So he just paid for a box of cookies with counterfeit money. Now I’m stuck here with this box of cookies that I have to pay for. The world is full of scum.
Girl Scout: What are we going to do, man?
Angry Man: What everyone in this line of work does. We are going to start a GoFundMe.
~The rest of the Girl Scouts destroy Mike Zybala’s Outsiders table as we fade out~
Mike Zybala - Coerced
Entrant #2 into the OCW Survivor Season 3 Field.